Your “With A Whimper, It Ends Yet Begins” Sunday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

So baseball season has started, the Final Four is set, and the NHL season only has one week to go. Add in the Master’s and Kentucky Derby, plus the start of the NBA playoffs, and you get even money odds that April is truly the greatest month.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Red Wings – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Flames at Sharks – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • MLB:
    • Braves at Phillies – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • NBA:
    • Hornets at Warriors – 8:30PM | Sportsnet1 / NBATV
  • NCAA:
    • NCAA Hockey Tournament:
      • Midwest Regional final: Minnesota-Duluth vs. Quinnipiac – 6:30PM | ESPNU
  • MLS:
    • Orlando City SC vs. D.C. United – 6:30PM | FS1
    • Los Angeles Galaxy vs. Portland Timbers – 9:00PM | ESPN2

Don’t forget to tune in later tonight (or tomorrow morning) for the winner of the Banner Tournament. You have until 10:59:59 PM DFO time tonight to cast your ballot. Just like the NCAA tourney, MY FAVOURITES ARE ALREADY DEAD!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nighyeah rightBrettFavresColonoscopySenor WeaseloBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

I had the most amazing trip to the weed store today.
I drive the batmobile out of the batcave, make an immediate left and I’m on west bound Imperial, bang a right at 50 mph on Pershing, melt the fucking pavement to Manchester parkway, left to Lincoln.

I caught every light green.

EVERY FUCKING LIGHT!

home and back again in 35 minutes.

Fuck you Bilbo Baggins.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Ladies and gentlemen, THE POLLS ARE CLOSED.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll take things Hitler said out loud for $300, Alex

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think my wife has a serious problem. Within an hour of the housekeeper leaving, she turned on the Roomba.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Barry so, so, so much better than Veep now. This season is no bueno idea.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah…I’m gettin’ drunk.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m jealous.
Being sober sucks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s talk in the morning. What I’m doing comes with a price, and the cost gets higher every year.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit, this might be the best thing ever.

Gratliff

Don T

Veep characters ranked (partial):
1. Kent
3. Selina
3. Jonah
4. Richard Splett
5. The way filthy bald Congressman
6. Jonah’s uncle
7. Ben
8. Amy
9. [vacant to establish distance]
10. Mike
11. Diedrich Bader
12. The lobbyist from the Sonic ads

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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herodotus450
herodotus450

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, Clea DuVall has been around Hollywood for a long time. Good for her!

King Hippo

Splett for #1!!!

Loving the return of Barry

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Don’t worry, her face broke her fall.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The helmet saved her…..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“That’s good drywall!”

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Even after 100 loops, this is still quite funny.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What did they think was going to happen when she got to the bottom?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why do people ask this question? Isn’t the lack of thought process severely lacking in most human beings? Especially those at a social event.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Although I did read that after the stop she was much more DTF.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“Sploooosh.”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

HEY KIDS THIS IS HOW WE MADE PHONE CALLS BACK IN THE 70s:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Next to the pool with naked chicks? COUNT ME IN!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder

Kangaroos have their testicles in front of/ above their penis. Fun fact

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*old man getting into car

Redshirt

One week after running for the first time in my life, not jogging – running, I can attest that my heart and cardiovascular system appears to be in good shape. Because if it wasn’t, my heart would’ve exploded out of my ass and I’d be dead on the track in the local park.

Gratliff

I learned last summer that my heart is in much better shape than my left knee, but I think I got that taken care of, so my knees should hold up, which will be helpful, since I have an appt Wednesday morning to address the fact that my right shoulder doesn’t appear to work anymore.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Someone was talking bout a directed tactical nuke on either Duke or Pats? I say we hit the ad wizards responsible for either chevy or buick commercials of the last five years.

herodotus450
herodotus450

On second thought I’ll take the Pats, if it means the Bruins will be collateral damage.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Senor Weaselo

…He won, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Russian judge; 9.7.

Redshirt

That was me.

How about the people that decides a new car needs to cost so much damn money? Quit showing me the new trucks or a smart cars if I can’t afford it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Hey! Its the George W. Bush episode of CNN’s “The Bush Years”. I wonder if the episode title is going to be “Simple Mistake or Mortal Sin?”

Gratliff

Bush has been a simple mistake for most of his life.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Better haircut than Mark Davis.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, you are mistaken; that is a review of 1970s porn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, that was funny.

Redshirt

Innocent people gets screwed and taken advantage of.
Corrupt people get richer.
Society gets further ruined.

Yeah, that’s checks out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are mistaken on a matter of scale. Plus you killed the joke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One thing about Faux News; they really air things out.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t stop laughing at this. If you can’t laugh at dog testicles then I don’t even know you guys anymore.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plenty of pooch asshole pulling up the……. rear.

nomonkeyfun

“Oooh, oooh, oooh. I love that position. I can’t wait.”

-Doggie

Gratliff

Upward facing dog doesn’t offer near as many health benefits

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Feels good on the back doe.

Wakezilla

That’s fantastic

Gratliff

I’m more impressed than aroused. That’s good hustle.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It can be both.

Horatio Cornblower

Jessica Mendoza’s fake laughter causes cancer, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Horatio Cornblower

To be gender-neutral about this I am also fairly certain that A-Rod’s forced laughter has been found to cause leprosy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit Orioles, don’t fuck this up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There ya go.
Half a game out of first. Yanks and Sox in the cellar.

Wooo!!!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

It’s the high-water mark of the season!

theeWeeBabySeamus

DON’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME YA DAMNED YANKEE!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, yes.

Gratliff

In baseball terms, this is checking the standings after starting the NFL season with a field goal on your third drive.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Imagine the parade we could hold if we ever reached those heights!”
-Buffalo, NY

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Right where you want them.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For those who watched the delicious schadenfreude, was that Duke player trying to miss that last free throw on purpose? Based on the arc it seemed like he was.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, he was.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He drank some of his own roofie mix.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My back hurts a tiny little bit, so I’m debating jettisoning tomorrow’s workout in favor of getting double-hangover drunk tonight.

blaxabbath

Do both

Or are you not 19?

Senor Weaselo

Not capitalizing with RISP and losing to a vastly inferior team on paper? (Sorry tWBS) I see the Yankees are already in midseason form.

Horatio Cornblower

Sox dropped 3 of 4 to Seattle, so I don’t feel too bad.

I am, however, absolutely convinced that the Yankees are never going to win anything with Boone as the manager.

Senor Weaselo

That makes me feel worse!

Horatio Cornblower

OK, now I’m getting greedy. HIT A GRAND SLAM VOIT!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Or, you know, ground out to short.

SonOfSpam

Rooney’s goal for DC United just now was pretty sweet.

Of course, y’all must be watching the best league in the world, so I’m preaching to the choir.

Senor Weaselo

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?

theeWeeBabySeamus

U*NC and Duke both lose in hearbreaking fashion, and the Orioles are about to take the series against the Yanks.

THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST WEEKEND IN EVAR!!!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

I am willing to trade a March series with the Orioles for Roy Williams and Mike Krywhatever getting bounced short of the Final Four. Every time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s spelled “Rat-face”, Horatio.

Horatio Cornblower

Shit, I knew that one too.

Gratliff

FFS, I’m gonna have to hear about this bullshit all week now. Full disclosure: I live in a house where my Christmas tree has Michigan State ornaments, and I don’t like her being happy.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Gotta give it to MSU though, they just kept harassing Duke without remorse, coming at them at their most vulnerable.

Horatio Cornblower

HAPPY DUKE SCHADENFREUDE DAY EVERYBODY!!!!

WCS

Beat me to it! Cheers, bitches!

yeah right

Our local alternative station, KROQ, is having a music of the 90’s weekend.

It’s been rock solid.

Hadn’t heard this in a bit.

Fun fact: this played over the closing credits of the very 2nd episode of the Sopranos ever.

SonOfSpam

A couple months ago, the KROQ signal got weak by our house. Dunno why, but here we are.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[furrows brow]

– Pete Carroll

Gratliff

Twitter is having a day
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WCS

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Gratliff

Benito, you son of a bitch!

Wakezilla

Liverfailure beat Hot Sperms today. If Arseholes lose tomorrow, I’d say it was a very good Lesser footy weekend.

LemonJello
LemonJello

The Mayo Clinic’s intramural teams push the envelope in both medical research and team names…