Kyler’s Movie Corner: The Great Gatsby

Ian Scott McCormick

Ian Scott McCormick

Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
Ian Scott McCormick

Hey everybody, this is Kyler Murray. As some of you know, my life has been a wild ride over the past two years. I was drafted to play baseball for the Oakland Athletics, I became the starting quarterback for the Oklahoma Sooners, won a Heisman Trophy, and just became the first players selected in the 2019 NFL Draft, by a team that had just drafted a QB last year, despite my only being 5’10”. But what you don’t all know is that I’m not just a future NFL starting quarterback, and a damn fine baseball prospect. I’m also a movie buff. And while a lot of people tell me I should stay in my lane, the truth is, I go where my heart tells me to go.

I started to tease it a little bit last night.

What I don’t get is why isn’t everybody rocking looks from The Great Gatsby? Don’t get it twisted, The Great Gatsby was a true American classic. Leo looking fly. Toby doing his thing. Carey Mulligan looking damn fine. The movie was written by Baz Luhrmann, who had previously exploded onto the scene in the 90’s when he wrote Romeo + Juliet. I’m not gonna lie to you, I don’t know how I felt about that one. Yeah, Leo’s still looking pretty damn cool, but they all talked in this boujee slang, but what can I say man. The elements of a good movie were all there. Anyway, a while back he drops The Great Gatsby on us, and man, that movie just gets me. Jay Gatsby looks like he’s the man, right? Probably born that way, handed everything to him?


Jay Gatsby comes up from the streets, everybody telling him to stay in his lane, that he ain’t shit, that he won’t ever be shit. But what they don’t know is that kid got game, man. That’s me. I’m that Gatsby. Everybody told me, “Hey son, what the hell are you doing with that football. You’ve already got a job swinging bats for the A’s. You’re too small. You aren’t no Baker Mayfield. You can’t light up the Big 12. You can’t win the Heisman. You can’t go to the Cardinals, who just got Rosen.” You can’t, you can’t, you can’t.

Jay Gatsby could. Jay Gatsby believed in himself.

I believe in myself.

Jay Gatsby had dope parties.

I had a pretty dope party.

That’s lesson one. Believe in yourself.

But this is a really deep movie. It has more layers than a Kliff Kingsbury playbook. And there’s another lesson.

Stay Hungry.

See most people would see that party at West Egg and that would have been all they needed. I mean look at that damn scene.

I don’t know man. That’s pretty nice. A guy could get pretty comfortable with that life. But not Jay. Jay stays hungry. Jay has to go out and get it. I’m talking about that green light across the water.

There it is. Haunting him from East Egg. I know what you’re saying. “Bro, just go get yourself a green ass light.” That’s what I thought when I first watched the movie. Hell, I went onto Amazon and bought four of them right there on the spot, until my friend set me straight.

“Kyler, it’s not about the light, son.”

“It isn’t?”

“Naw kid. It’s what that light represents.”

I can’t front, I got chills. See that light was where his bae lives. Only she was married. But Jay wasn’t having that. He had his boy Tobey Maguire set a trap for Carey Mulligan. And then, bam, he hits her with the white suit.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the pink suit. He’s building up to that. But damn if he doesn’t get her attention with the flowers. It’s raining, which kind of throws him off his game. You can see it when you eat the tape. He’s frustrated. It’s subtle, but if you’re looking for it, you’ll see it. But it’s like they say, this isn’t The Good Gatsby. He’s already taking mental snapshots. He’s living in that moment, really soaking in how it feels to be down. And what’s more, he’s making adjustments. Breaking down her defense. Pretty soon he’s hitting her with shirts, making it rain cottons and linens and cashmere.

But look, Carey is already married. This is fun, and it’s a hell of a fantasy, but there’s a lot of hard work to be done. Just like how I’ve gotta make the Cardinals choose me over Rosen, Jay Gatsby has to make Carey choose him over her husband. Even when a lot of the haters out there are telling everybody, he’s not right for you. He’s not born wealthy. He’s not 6 feet tall. You’ve already got a man.

That’s when he breaks out the pink suit.

God damn he is looking fly in that suit.

I’m not going to lie to you, there are a couple of things missing in this movie. For one, it could have had a little more football in it. Or hell, baseball would have been pretty good. I liked the Jay Z, but I don’t know about all the jazz. I guess they had to keep in in there, because it’s kind of an arthouse movie, if you get what I mean, but for me? I don’t know. Maybe just put some Beyonce in there. You know, something for the women.

Also, I don’t think there should have been so much drinking. Alcoholism is a disease, and while it looks cool, I think from time to time Jay Gatsby let his eyes off the prize. Maybe that’s Baz’s way of saying that even The Great Gatsby was still human, after all.

Damn. Hold up, I’m going to need a minute to really think about that one.

I guess the biggest shocker was that Jay Gatsby doesn’t get the girl in the end. For me, that really subverted the whole genre. Up to that point I figured “Hell yeah, he’s about to get that girl. Come on, man. This is a movie after all.” But then the movie was like “Bro, this isn’t a movie. It’s a metaphor for life. And you can work as hard as you want, but that doesn’t mean you’re always going to get what you want.” Jay Gatsby learns a lesson though. He’s lost, but he’s gonna come out of this stronger for it. What Baz was telling us with the movie is that you’ve gotta keep your head up and stay true to who you are.

I’m going to put a spoiler alert here before I continue. Stop reading if you are going to watch the movie.


Then they kill Jay Gatsby. I couldn’t believe it. The haters got him. But Jay didn’t die. Not really. Because all this time Tobey has been taking notes. Now it’s Tobey’s turn to be the next Great Gatsby. Only he has to stay true to himself, so really he’s going to be the Great Tobey, but still, he’s gonna be really, really great. The movie ends before you see it, but every now and then I think to myself about what Tobey Maguire started wearing, and what he started chasing. I bet it was something like a creamsicle orange suit. Sometimes in my mind’s eye it’s perriwinkle. I don’t know, and maybe that’s what makes the movie so great. You never really know what the Great Tobey is even going to look like, so your mind imagines all these wonderful endings.

That’s the final lesson (HAHAHA, you didn’t think I’d get one more lesson in there, did you? This is a DEEP movie): Anything is possible. Trust in yourself, dress for success, and live that Great Gatsby life.

Thank you all for reading my review.

I’m Kyler Murray.

Ian Scott McCormick
Ian Scott McCormick
Ian is a New Yorker, a father, a husband, a sports fan. He covers a variety of subjects but really only appreciates burgers and cola.
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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Next Week: Daniel Jones and Eli Manning share a juice box and break down the use of symbolic castration metaphors in The Wiggles Movie (1997)

King Hippo

That’s one ticked-off globalist cuck! – John E., Dove Valley, CO

yeah right

Guess that makes Oklahoma his Valley of Ashes.


Wait — so this was the book Wolf on Wall Street was based on?


So he was a film major at OU?

Senor Weaselo

I look forward to Kyler’s take on A Clockwork Orange, Fahrenheit 451 (the newest one), and Animal Farm. All originals of course.


This is excellent. All we needed was Kyler calling Ms Kolber “Old Sport” during his interview.