It’s like clockwork.  When the League is competitive at the top, hype the title race.  When it’s not, hype the relegation battle(s).

But what to do when it’s all done and dusted?  Aside from all four contenders doing their best to fuck up the last 2 Champions League spots?  I guess just watch because we’ll sure miss it in a few weeks’ time.  At least until Most Glorious South American Euros start.

Spurs head down to the South Coast to play the mercurial Cherries.  Super early, with apologies to yeah right (7:30, NBCSN).  If you know what to expect from this clash, you’re a fucking liar.  Harry Fuckface Kane’s absence had little immediate impact, but it’s become so obvious that the attack has to go through Son…that it’s going a bit tits up.  Bournemouth are in 14th, with no mathematical path to the top half or relegation zone.  All about playing spoiler, and winning that home finale.  Spurs need 2 points to clinch Top 4 status, due to their massive Goal Differential lead on the field.

Wolves and Long Ded (and now playing better) Fulham get spotlight treatment at 10:00 (NBCSN), with Wolves in the lead for the last Europa slot (DISCLAIMER – only if City win the FA Cup).  Wolves also get the Redshite to close the season, so they really need all three here.  The only other match in the window (NBC Gold) is Saints/Hammers, which is completely meaningless.

You get TWO afternoon tilts, for a change, with nigh-ded Cardiff hosting “we’re just happy to be here” Palace (12:30, NBC), followed by Liverpool taking a tricky trip to Newcastle (2:45, NBCSN).  Goes without saying, Hippo will be a yuuuuuuugggggge Barcodes supporter for one and only one afternoon.

Sunday, United go to Ded and Loving It! Huddersfield (9:00, NBCSN) while Watford head to Fulham to play Chelsea (9:00, CNBC).  Times are weird when the teevee folk don’t separate these two mass-supported sides in the viewing window.  Chelsea could still back into Champions League by winning Europa.  They are well-poised to meet Arsenal in the final.

Speaking of the Gooners, they close out the weekend with Brighton (11:30, NBCSN).  Boy howdy, do the Trash Birds appreciate needing fuckall from this to survive (and maybe not even to clench, unless Cardiff win on Saturday).  City host Lester on Monday Night Footy (3:00, NBCSN) and hopefully clinch the title at home.  It’s 90% in the barn, anyway.

Everton played its last home match on Friday Night Footy, smacking around dire Burnley 2-nil.  Toffees sit in 8th position, hoping for Wolves to cock it up.  But we still have a shot at Europa – thus the lead-in pic.

What else do we got? I guess Dortmund could still conceivably catch Bayern, but with Bayern hosting dreadful Hannover…don’t expect much fireworks this weekend.  Dortmund are away to Werder Bremen, which is considerably trickier.

Our Young Boys have hit a bit of a lull, and will look to get their peckers back up away to Sion (10:00 Sunday).

Enjoy the viewing and/or gambling!