Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 2 (D.A.R.E. to Just Say No)

INT. ELI MANNING’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

DANIEL JONES removes the set of earplugs that ELI MANNING had provided him with.

DANIEL: Hey, that was pretty boss!

ELI: [wary of sarcasm] Really?

DANIEL: [seemingly genuine] Yeah man, totally.

ELI: [smiles bashfully] Yeah, I guess it’s pretty cool.

DANIEL: [points to the speakers attached to ELI’s computer] Let’s crank it up some of that Bow Wow Wow and shake the foundations.

ELI: [considers, then shakes his head] Nah, I don’t want to deal with that kind of heat from Mo…I mean Olivia.  Especially on book club night.

DANIEL: Well speaking of candy, man…[makes exaggerated sniffing noise, then raises eyebrows]…do you like to party?

ELI: What do you mean?

DANIEL looks around conspiratorially, then opens up his duffel bag and begins laying items out onto Eli’s desk.

ELI: Holy sh…ugar!

DANIEL: As soon as they called my name on April 25th, I said to myself “Daniel, it’s time to turn your drug problem into a drug collection.”  Sweet, right?  That’s like one-third of my signing bonus right there.

ELI: [very, very nervously] Listen, man, I don’t want you to think I’m a narc or anything, but…I’m really not into that stuff.

DANIEL: Huh.  Kind of feels like you don’t trust me, man.

ELI: No, no, it’s not that.  It’s just that, you know, the NFL’s drug testing policy…

DANIEL: You already got tested though, right?

ELI nods.

DANIEL: What, you think I brought a shitload of drugs along just to get you popped and suspended by the NFL so I could take over the starting spot?  That’s not what I’m about, man.  Here, let me show you that I’m on the level. [points to drug collection] Pick something at random.  Anything you want.

ELI: I don’t want to do drugs, Daniel.

DANIEL: You’re not doing drugs, I’m doing drugs.  Just pick something.

ELI swallows and pokes his finger down over one of the various bags.

DANIEL: [eyes widen] Holy shit, this Eli the Barrow Boy character rolls hard.  Fucking sweet, man, I’ll hit it.

DANIEL takes a capsule from the baggie, opens it up and dumps the powder into the crook of his thumb, then with a single gulping huff snorts the entire amount.  

DANIEL: It’s gonna be a little bit before this really starts to hit – you got a Playstation we can jam on while we’re waiting?

ELI: I got a Sega Genesis.

DANIEL: Cool, cool.  [reaches back into the duffel bag, pulls out a mylar zip-lock bag while concealing the label from ELI, and dumps its contents into his hands] And here, man.  I don’t want you getting left behind, so how about a good old-fashioned sugar rush to keep you on pace with me?

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Note: Today’s topic is DRUGS.  Specifically, drugs that DANIEL JONES would be into, though if you’ve got your own proclivities that’s fine too.  This is probably the richest topic in Request Line history, so the limit is FIVE songs per person.  So make ’em count.  I’ll get us started with one of the greatest odes to a substance ever recorded.