2019 Quotables – Week 1 (Results)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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This previously-recorded edition of Quotables results is available on tape-delay because I am using today (Friday) to travel to Huntington Beach for a work meeting.

So with over 100 comments — which is very possibly a new this-feature record — any late (Thursday at about noon or after) submissions may have just as easily been lost in the comment mania as simply being unnoticed by the judges altogether. So, as I like to say, there’s always competition for every submission here and, as is often the case, I am again confused as the gifs that I thought may be the hardest to work with actually gained the most traction in the comments. Guess that lack of understanding of the world around me is the unique qualifier to yell at the camera on ESPN a few times each week. Next week’s topic: why Mike Bidwill is a sorry excuse for a human being.

Oh! Word count! Don’t get discouraged and please enjoy your Week 1 Quotables results below. Submissions here.


“With the game well in hand, Pat Mahomes entertains teammates with his killer Jameis Winston impression.” -WhyEaglesWhy

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time, Two touchdowns, still no win for Carolin’, I’m not the (Heis)man I was down on the Farm, Oh no no no, I’m just C-Mac man -Downfield Matriculator

“And here I thought he was digging out some feces to fling.” – ArmedandHammered

“Teamkilling fucktard!” -Sharkbait

“I guarantee that the bald guy has, at some point in his life, filled out an application to work for I.C.E.” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Eli would take his helmet off, but nobody will undo the child locks for him.” -LemonJello

“As we said when we parted ways with Colin and Eric, this team will not tolerate distractions. Now where is that giant piñata for the rest of the pregame team party?” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Man, I haven’t seen Jets take down a New York icon like that in 18 years.” -nomonkeyfun
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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WhyEaglesWhy

That Eli one is tremendous.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

Like Mayor Pete or Beto O”Rourke, I am a middle aged white guy with no discernible fire or talent just happy to be sharing the stage with you smartasses

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I don’t know anything about music, but it seems like this should be in the original format, although I totally expect that it was in your draft but WordPress screwed it up.

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Two touchdowns, still no win for Carolin’
I’m not the (Heis)man I was down on the Farm
Oh no no no, I’m just C-Mac man

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

Well I am certainly no Bernie Taupin, but as I spent upwards of 11 minutes trying to squeeze my 8 pounds of crappy words into a 5 pound sack, I appreciate the appreciation of keeping the lyrics moderately intact!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only thing I love more than Quotables is having one of my selections make the cut.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Agreed.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I assumed I hadn’t made the cut this week because the pool was so deep. Good things blax uses venmo.