Your “Two Whole Games?!” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

If the London Game had been an early morning affair, yes, I get it. I’d be totally fine with that. But this is ‘our’ NFL, giving us the illusion of choice when there is in fact none or the choices are garbage. (borrowed from that old crank George Carlinski) Why do we put up with this? Or do we? I guess the league’s Downward Dog numbers indicate that we don’t. I mean, not ‘us’, us. We’ll watch a shit game and ask for more so that we can come on here and try to make one another larf their butts off. It’s a pitiful existence, but what else is there?

TO THE GAME!

Broncos/Chargers:

It’s fade time for Courtland Sutton again because he’ll be getting a big, fat dose of Casey Hayward. Not so for Manny though-the gap between the aforementioned cb and the rest of the Chargers is calculated in light years. But will Flacco go for it? He’d better because Denver is staring at going 0-5 for the very first time in ever.

Packers/Cowboys:

Speaking of lockdown dudes, Green Bay’s Jaire Alexander is PFF’s top ranked cb and he’ll be showcasing his wares against Amari today. You might think twice about starting rb Jones this week as he’s had just the one game with over 40 yardos rushing but his arch-nemesis, (not including Matt LaFleur) Jamaal Williams is out this week. ‘Increased touches lead to increased chances’ is what I whisper to my sixteen year old kid from the closet of his bedroom when he has a girlie over but it also holds true in fantasy football.

Get your engines revving, sportsters!

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Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think the offensive line is a strength anymore you guys.

Spur
Spur

Absolutely beautiful. No one to blame but themselves

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Jesus fuck man. Never post that again.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Cowboys icing themselves

Sharkbait

Praise Shank’lor!

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahA

Game Time Decision

Hahaha. Missed it

Gratliff

AHAHAHAHAHAH

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Miss it.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That must have been a national Trump ad spot. Shit, I’m voting for him now!

Gratliff

And people wondered what the point of redzone was for this slate

Spur
Spur

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Another Trump commercial on Los Angeles (FOX) TV! There are never presidential ads here! He’s trying to reach me!

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Why are they running Trump commercials in Washington state?

Horatio Cornblower

They ran the same ad in Connecticut. I’m thinking it’s not targeted, or it’s just his usual incompetence.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

They’re running them in Texas. Why the fuck are they wasting their money preaching to the choir?

Sharkbait

Why the fuck was there just a trump ad? Fuck me, does anyone have eye bleach?

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Yeah heard he already raised 110 million this quarter from the graft and tax fears

Horatio Cornblower

Wow. My first Trump 2020 ad.

I hate it.

Horatio Cornblower

Hot taek. Kick the FG here and give yourself more time to get the TD in the unlikely event you recover the onsides kick that you need no matter what.

Spur
Spur

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Gratliff

Shit. Better ID her first then.

Horatio Cornblower

God, I hope her name isn’t Carrie.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

“Roughing the fucking passer?” WTF? Way to go zebra fucks.
/has been drinking
/more than usual

Gratliff

I feel like that’s not a direct quote

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Oh, it’s pretty fucking direct.

Horatio Cornblower

Roughing the passer? What the fuck?

Oh, the glancing blow the helmet. I thought that only applied to Brady.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Gosh, it’d be a real shame is Z’darius were hurt.

Spur
Spur

Dallas is too late. there’s not enough left on the clock.

Gratliff

Very sound strategy of working the middle during a two minute drill

Horatio Cornblower

Hmm, yes. And a fine eating we will have afterwards.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

I think there’s time for one more Dakception.

Horatio Cornblower

Just like last week.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Sharkbait

Is that Hall and Oats in drag?

Game Time Decision

Failed boy bands?

Horatio Cornblower

You can tell Matt LaFleur is like family to Rodgers, because Rodgers won’t stop yelling at him.

Gratliff

BLESSED COWPOKE DERP

Gratliff

aww

Gratliff

fuuuuuuuuck that. Be better, refs.

Horatio Cornblower

“No” NFL

Game Time Decision

But are they better than the replacement refs

Gratliff

Is “Touchdown, Seahawks” still funny?

Game Time Decision

Even as a packer fan, YES

Horatio Cornblower

Always

Horatio Cornblower

I was told repeatedly by the NFL that the replacement refs were doing a perfectly cromulent job, that there was nothing to see there, and that I should just move along.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Da fuck wuz dat?

Spur
Spur

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Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Wait. What was I saying?

Spur
Spur

Rogers cries about everything. He’s doesn’t stop

Horatio Cornblower

“It’s not roughing the passer if there’s no play!”

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Before this game, all the talk was about how Zeke was gonna have hundreds of yards, all over that weak-ass Packer run defense. By “Zeke,” I can only assume they meant “Aaron.”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image/revision/latest?cb=20160911021823

Spur
Spur

Awuzie missile

Horatio Cornblower

Great minds.
/trips over shoelaces
//jams pencil up nose

Horatio Cornblower

Awuzie can’t cover for shit, but he hits like a missile.

Sharkbait

Boy am I glad I’m not facing Aaron Jones today.

Mrs. Sharkbait on the other hand…

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

I’m doing 220 in a ppr league with Jones Watson phily d Johnson Godwin and cook

Gratliff

Dak Prescott with the full count

Spur
Spur

That zebra fell on his ass

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Her ass, actually.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Was it the lady-ref? Because she has a big ass.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

It was. And it is.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

She’s OK. The pounds-per-square-inch on her big ass when she fell were well within the acceptable limits.

Horatio Cornblower

There’s a lady ref in this game? Oh I’m sure Dallas sportsball radio will be even more reasonable than usual tomorrow.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Where’s a drone when you need one?

Spur
Spur

Can Dallas get a 3 and out?

Horatio Cornblower

Sure. I could also win Mr. Olympia. The odds are about the same.
/flexes at mirror
//mirror shatters in horror

Horatio Cornblower

Holy shit Cooper.

Gratliff

Fucking Packers swear to god

Horatio Cornblower

#55 seems like kind of a dick.

hippofant
hippofant

He really liked that seafood chowder, man.