2019 Quotables – Week 9 (Results)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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I ain’t got a lot to say today because our office is doing our little Thanksgiving potluck here shortly. As many of you know, I moved for work from Phoenix to Las Vegas this year. Each of our offices does these holiday cookouts a little different and the Vegas office has always raved about the deep fried turkeys the superintendent here cooks. So, while I was a real fan of the Phoenix office’s smoked meat set up (and will enjoy it as they are not doing theirs for a couple weeks but I’m gonna make a point to be in town that day), I am mostly focused on how these turkeys (and, this year, a ham) go.

Submissions are here and below are your Week 10 Quotables results.


“Oh my GOD! Did you see Gomes’ ankle? When did they start running Premier League recaps on the JumboTron?” -Petronel

“My job title says ‘ask me about the football game’. My hat says ‘I’ve seen that peephole video a thousand times.'” -Enrico Pallazzo

“I could really go for a big bowl of lead paint chips right about now.” -BrettFavresColonoscopy -LemonJello

“At least I didn’t run into anyone’s butt and subsequently fumble.” -WhyEaglesWhy

“Watching on television, a confused Richie Incognito wonders why Jonathan Martin is running across the Meadowlands field.” -SonOfSpam

“GET THE FAN A CONTRACT (to work as a security guard at Chargers games)!” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Can you imagine how scared this guy’s realdoll is going to be when he gets home?” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“’I’ve…seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Love Boats on fire off the shore of Lake Minnetonka. I watched Manti Te’o try to garner Heisman votes with a fake dead girlfriend story near the Golden Dome. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.’ -Deadspin” – The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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blaxabbathUnsurprisedArmedandHammeredtheeWeeBabySeamusBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I redid the last one.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Deep fried turkey you say? Sure, boiling peanut oil splashing out onto an open flame. What could go wrong?

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Thanks, but I’ll stick to roasting in the oven at 350° for about 3-4 hours. Moar drankin’ time anyway.

SOMEBODY TURN ON THE PARADE DAMMIT!!!!!!!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

I think the living room suite really sets the mood.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Deep friend ham?!?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I appreciate the double love but that Zeke one is all LemonJello

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Though maybe this is belated payoff for none of you giving me credit for the Blair Walsh nailed it bit.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

A single Jamboroo star flies off into the aether