ALL HAIL BLEERGH.
In tribute to Bleergh (the God of Penalties), here are the Divisional weekend’s best and worst penalties. I was unable to find the data in anything other than PDF (NFL gamesheets) this week, so these numbers are what I found from said game sheets.
Here’s a random breakdown of this weeks penalties. I may or may not try to find the tape for these, nor am I making any judgement call on the individual penalties. I’m sure that there are plays that should have been called and were not, and other plays where the penalty wasn’t needed, depending on your fandom. This is mainly me looking a some numbers and publishing my findings, so let me know if there’s something you would like to see added or removed to the list.
Here are the bestest (in the eyes of Bleergh) penalties of the week:
| Team | Penalty | Result |
| KC | Taunting, | 15 yards, but dead ball foul |
No points taken off the board this week due to penalties. Sad
These plays have multiple flags. This pleases Bleergh.
| Offence | Defence | Description |
| nothing. it’s like these teams know how to be disciplined |
Here are the worst (in the eyes of Bleergh) penalties of the week.
| Team | Penalty | Result |
| TEN | Illegal Touch Kick | 0 yards |
| HOU | Defensive Offside ( declined)- free play, net 48 yard gain | 0 yards |
| GB | Defensive holding( declined) – free play- 28 yard again | 0 yards |
Here are the Best (in the eyes of Bleergh) penalties of the week.
| Team | Penalty | Result |
| HOU | DEFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE | 28 yards |
| HOU | DEFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE | 15 yards |
| HOU | DEFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE | 19 yards |
| KC | DEFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE | 12 yards |
It (finally) occurred to me that I should try to show the penalties to the offence that a big gain is wiped out. So, here’s the first attempt at that.
| Team | Penalty | Penalty yards | Play gained (yards) | Total lost |
| HOU | Illegal Formation | 5 | 8 | 13 |
| GB | OPI | 10 | 6 | 16 |
| GB | Illegal Block Above the Waist | 10 | 13 | 23 |
And here’s the total number of penalties per team this weekend.
| Team | Penalties against | Penalty yards | Ave yards per penalty |
| MIN | 1 | 15 | 15.00 |
| SF | 5 | 38 | 7.60 |
| TEN | 5 | 20 | 4.00 |
| BAL | 7 | 56 | 8.00 |
| HOU | 7 | 87 | 12.43 |
| KC | 4 | 37 | 9.25 |
| SEA | 6 | 47 | 7.83 |
| GB | 4 | 30 | 7.50 |
Penalties by type*
| Name | Number called | Percentage | YTD | YTD Percentage |
Tonnes of false starts and minor holding calls this week.
*note that the zeros are penalties called from previous weeks but still in the list. Way too lazy to remove them and it ups my word count. Ha.
ALL HAIL BLEERGH.
I believe Elisha deserves a full article for his service to God and country.
I give the governor “Harumph!”
Gruden the Lesser going to be the new OC for the Jaguras. BD Nick and Minshew Mania going to be fighting for that clipboard.
I like the offensive yards lost addition. Those yards are just lost in the wind but no longer.
Does anyone else find it maddening that the refs sit on their flags during the playoffs and let the game be decided “On the field?”
While the entire season they can change the entire narrative by over penalizing and calling strategically placed penalties that can influence who actually makes it to the playoffs?
Just me?
As you were then.
Seems like someone wants a visit from the NFL Thoughtcrimes Unit…
Is that a catch?
did not make a fitbawl move before going to ground, nawt a catch
Another Orlando Brown situation narrowly averted
It was a quiet week for BLEERGH. But we know our God is there, even when He is silent.
BLEERGH moves in mysterious ways. Even if His signal only moves towards the ground because of gravity and all.
Absence of proof is not proof of absence. (That’s an old fundamentalist’s go-to nugget I remember from a twisted childhood on the inside.)