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Your “Take It Where You Can” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL Notes:

  • Raise your juice boxes in appreciation – Eli Manning has retired.  
    • It will be formally announced at a special press conference on Friday, after Eli & Daniel finish their final sleepover in The Meadowlands.
    • After 16 seasons & one “fuck you” to the Spanos family, Eli hangs up his cleats as the second-best football Manning & third-best Manning son.
      • Manning leaves the game with a perfectly average regular-season record (117-117), but an 8-4 mark in the postseason & two wild card to champion Super Bowls.
        • We will never forget the two helping of schadenfreude he served the Patriots.
Godspeed, you magnificent dimwitted bastard.
  • Antonio Brown can’t stay out of trouble.
    • His trainer was arrested on an assault & burglary charge, and Brown is being investigated for an assault on a moving company driver Brown hired to come to his house.
      • He allegedly ignored the police when they came to question him, refusing to answer the door.
Brown’s picturesque shanty.
  • Larry Fitzgerald has bought a minority share of the Phoenix Suns.
    • “It’s an investment in something I have supported since I’ve been in Arizona,” he told NFL.com by phone. “It gives me another connection in the community I love and always will live in. It’s a long-term commitment I wanted to make for life after football.”
    • The estimated value of the Suns is $1.5 billion.

Finally – don’t tell me that being a season ticket holder has disadvantages, because feast your eyes on this!

Yep – a whole 20% off an XFL ticket, to watch Jim Zorn coach. I’ve left the code up in case you can’t go without, because I love you.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: (last night before the All-Star break)
    • Jets at Blue Jackets – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Red Wings at Wild – 8:00PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • 76ers at Raptors – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Lakers at Knicks – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Spurs at Pelicans – 9:30PM | ESPN
    • Jazz at Warriors – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Georgetown at Xavier – 6:30PM | FS1
    • South Carolina at Auburn – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Syracuse at Notre Dame – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Providence at Seton Hall – 8:30PM | FS1
  • Wrasslin’:
    • WWE NXT – 8:00PM | USA
    • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
      • “Live” from the Jericho Cruise 2 – it’s on a boat!

Really, tonight just sounds like WINNING!

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Brick Meathook

My birthday began 1.5 hours ago. My local blue collar Quebecois pub treated me to a free drink and a bunch of stuff in French.

5
SonOfSpam

Happy Goddamn 40th, you magnificent bastard. Raising a can of light shitty beer to you.

2
yeah right

Lemme know when you get back stateside. I’ll buy you a drink at the Harbor Room.

You’re a real goddamn American!

2
SonOfSpam

Thanks! Currently in Anaheim, but you may have been talking to Bricois.

3
Brick Meathook

You can come to the Harbor Room too.

3
yeah right

Happy birthday you prince of Playa Vista. You King of Southern California!

1
Mr. Ayo

Any poutine?

Of the innuendo type?

1
Beerguyrob

Well done! Happy happy!

But if anyone offers you a Laurentide, they will try & rob you outside.

1
SonOfSpam

Evening/morning

Hell of a day. Poor Antonio Brown (I mean that). He’s a mess.

Getting back into slightly unbad habits, I’ve worked out two days in a row. I can’t really move, except to get therapy beers. Thank Shiva for modern medicine.

3
yeah right

After the weather and the ugly ass illness I’m back on the ground myself. Walking another 5 miles tomorrow. Third day in a row!

It’s not the old age so much as it’s..
yeah, it’s the old age.

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SonOfSpam

Kudos to you for getting back on the walking horse!

We gotta work twice as hard for half the gain, but it sure beats the alternative.

2
yeah right

When the weather is warm and 67 degrees the easiest thing on the planet is to strap some shoes on and get some miles in.

When it’s cold and still dark when you wake up?

That’s the dedication.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjxXhxcIbG0

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oy

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Baby Curling!!!!!
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Senor Weaselo

Paging BC Dick!

1
SonOfSpam

– Aaron Rodgers, on a road trip to play the Liouns

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Viva La Tabula Raza

So, I have read a lot of history in my time, and consider myself a bit of a “history buff.” Earlier in my life, after reading about it and thinking I would never have that experience, I often wondered what it would be like to live in an authoritarian dictatorship. Looks like Mitch McConnell is going to provide an answer once the Republican Senate delivers the acquittal. Should lead us to a Dem-lead senate in November, unless the vote-stealing and disenfranchisement keeps going at great guns, or martial law is declared for some reason by the anthropomorphic animate overfilled colostomy bag in the White House. Repub Senators will be seen as either complicit, stupid, or immoral if they acquit, except in the view of FOX watchers. I really fear for the future of our democracy. Otherwise I’ll be hoping they set up places like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOV8mBjHHYg

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Senor Weaselo

There is only one Sol that matters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeENjoLUgzs

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SonOfSpam

The one thing I cling to (other than my penis) is that Trump is so weak he was recruiting Ukraine to help him win. That tells me the vote-hacking may not be as prevalent as we fear. Also, he won (by 1% which isn’t suspicious at all) a lot of states that had Red governors/legislatures in 2016 and are now blue. State-level fuckery isn’t as likely this time ’round, and I think the GOP is last-gasping at this point.

Been wrong before, however.

1
scotchnaut

I just finished up with “Case”, which is yet another Scando Mystery Netflix thingy. It was excellent, btw. It’s so curious watching a show/shows where teen sex and drug use are just… meh. And if someone wants to get their hands on a gun? Good luck-you’ll have to steal it from a soldier/ex-soldier or a policeman or a hunter. Them’s yer options.

1
rockingdog

I have a theory Mr. Peanut knew too much…
And now he ded. oh well.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

This whole thing is nuts

3
Senor Weaselo

Wenn ist das nun Stück gitt und Schlottermeyer?

0
Unsurprised

fix the last part: EO7KUmBWkAEpDaE.jpg

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rockingdog

Found a funny:
Mobster: Take Jack up the hill and make it look like an accident.

Jill: You got it, boss.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

This was one funny motherfucker. RIP TJ.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjkBzf6leGo

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rockingdog

RIP Dude
me and three friends sang this at our high school musical show our senior year. Good times!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My computer’s virus protection at work, apparently:
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SonOfSpam

Perfect.

0
WCS

Three hours of Chuck E. Cheese…

Hello bourbon, my old friend,,,

Oh, and Rosemary’s Baby is on TV!

5
LemonJello

That costume had to get pretty hot and uncomfortable wearing it that long…

6
litre_cola

Being submerged naked in the ball pit got boring.

1
litre_cola

This is why edibles and a flask are standard Dad issue.

4
Sharkbait

Noted.

1
WCS

I can’t endorse this enough.

1
BC Dick

I’ve never lasted longer than 45 minutes in a chuck e cheese. What’s your secret? They never believe my “late night plumber” bit.

2
herodotus450

Thinking about baseball usually helps.

5
BC Dick

Gold, jerry. Gold.

2
rockingdog

LOL
I heard that if you get 500,000 tickets, you get to kill one of the mechanical singers.

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve never been in a Chuck E Cheese. They serve hard liquor?

1
Senor Weaselo

I’m pretty sure that combination led to Five Nights at Freddy’s.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Stoopid late to this thread, but Chuck E Cheese is the chain restaurant that the police attend most. And yes they sell booze. Oh and lets add family. Can’t image what could go wrong here.

0
Gratliff

oh yeah. Time to cash in on that George Kittle hype.
comment image

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herodotus450

Game’s halfway over and Pierre’s comments haven’t made me want to kill myself yet–oh no, I’m dead, aren’t I? Is this purgatory?

1
LemonJello

Was Don Cherry waiting for you on the other side of the river Styx? If not, you’re still part of this darkest timeline.

0
Gratliff

NHL is back on its bullshit with honoring John Scott’s All Star MVP night and really wishing you could have someone choked via Twitter

2
Senor Weaselo

They honored it so much that they made a rule specifically making sure it never happens again!

2
Gratliff

Best All Star moment of all time maybe of any league largely because of what a perfect middle finger it was to the shitheads running the show. Say what you will about Vince McMahon, but at least he knew how to make money off everyone hating him

3
Sharkbait

The All Star game is a joke. The Skills competition used to be the best part, but even that is getting lame.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Red Wings haven’t sucked tonight as much as usual, I must say. Not that I care either way.
Still, I wish they were showing Winnipeg/Columbus.
Oh well.

0
herodotus450

Well this comment didn’t age well.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not well liked. You haven’t figured that out yet?

0
herodotus450

The Blues were in last place at this time last season, and ended up winning the Cup. Let’s see who’s in last place now ?

0
Gratliff

The entire Pacific division?

2
scotchnaut

Oh my. You sweet mid-winter child…

0
Senor Weaselo

I’d believe you if they weren’t closer to 0 points than a playoff spot.

2
herodotus450

If they were allowed to keep their points from last season I still don’t think theyd make the playoffs.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

RIP, Morgan Wootten. You were a good man. And an amazing coach.
And even though you didn’t take the job, you were part of the reason NC State won it all in ’83.

0
LemonJello

Al Davis’ reaction, when reached for comment:
comment image

2
Sharkbait

The bad man can’t hurt us anymore!

0
Senor Weaselo

We went over this already, it’s teh bastard man.

0
scotchnaut

I love him to death for obvious reasons but Eli shouldn’t get into the Hall because he’s got the 117/117 win/loss record. He’s the most average qb there ever was.

3
herodotus450

Scotchy’s evil twin: “I don’t care how many movies he was in, Dan Marino shouldn’t be in the Hall because he never WON THE BIG GAME.”

0
Gratliff

Thanks to a 10-21 record against the Eagles and a bonus 0-2 against them in the playoffs. Lol fuck the gints

1
Gratliff

For comparison, McNabb was 98-62-1. Elisha can get behind the bitter old choker.

0
BC Dick

Donovan was a hell of a QB. They were the class of the nfc for years.

1
Gratliff

If he could just keep his mouth shut for 10 minutes, it’s how he’d be remembered

1
BC Dick

It’s a great question. He did play great when it mattered. People say Peyton choked too but he was 3-2? 3-1? Vs. Brady in AFC championships. 5 mvps. I would go with No for Eli but he beat a 17 win juggernaut in the super bowl (maybe mvp? I’m not checking) and for that I will always love him.

1
scotchnaut

He grabbed the MVP in both games. As a Giants fan I feel that his play in Green Bay and San Fran in the NFC championship games (on the road) during the SB years was almost beyond belief. He had the shit kicked out of him by the opposing D both times and just kept on making plays. I still don’t get it.

1
BC Dick

It was both. That’s what I like more than just plain old stats. Did he change the history of the game? They almost beat them in week 17 I think too. If you were paying attention you could see that possibility.

1
Redshirt

Impeachment talk on the drive to work.
Impeachment talk at work.
Impeachment talk on the drive home.
Impeachment talk at home.

At least I have an hour on MeTV and MASH reruns as sanctuary from this nonsense.

(7:23 PM signals cuts immediately to Rep. Adam “Babyface” Schiff on the Senate Floor)

Rep. Schiff: “I’d like to begin the Evening Session with…”
Me: (inarticulate screaming)

1
herodotus450

How about just an peach
comment image

1
Senor Weaselo

I would have expected that during Perry Mason (at 11:30, which Padre Weaselo watches religiously.)

0
Redshirt

Plus, you’d think Trump would’ve preempted MASH when it was the Republican’s turn to gaslight.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump’s handlers slapped a Fox News logo on an old episode of Matlock and then told him that he’s on the defense team.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love Schiff, but I’d much rather see some new testimony. I wish the Impeachment Managers would just unload some lurid descriptions of what *might* have happened in an effort to force some testimony from Bolton, et. al in order to refute it.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Raider home games in Vegas are going to be insane.

I put the Over/ Under on drunken arrests at 150.
The Over/ Under for deaths is 3.

Per game.

1
Beerguyrob

You only lose your PSL if they have to replace the seat due to blood stains.

3
Sharkbait

I heard they banned tailgating, which is fine since the strip is essentially tailgating anyway

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