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Beerguyrob

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,

I hope all the US-based Commentists are having a nice holiday weekend. Having just recently enjoyed one up here, thanks to our devotion to the monarchy, I can say that under any circumstances, they are warmly appreciated. By fortune of the calendar, it’s the actual May 2-4 weekend, which I guess doesn’t mean as much now seeing as Costco sells 30-can bricks of Bud Light. #UpForAnything

Not an ingredient – Flavor

Question: Can one say “Happy Memorial Day”? It feels like a bit of a faux pas, like saying “Happy Yom Kippur” or “Nice face mask”. I have US relatives that served in the military, and I never know what to say. I usually just ask what they are doing & how they plan to commemorate the day, which seems to be the right phrasing. Also, given that most of them are MAGA proponents, I don’t need to bother offending them beyond what my inherent socialist Canadian nature already does. But I usually follow their jibes up with “…, y’know, just like Ted Cruz, but not half-Cuban”, and then they just start down a different argument’s path.

Sometimes, I appreciate the decision to close the border.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • National Memorial Day Concert 2020 – 8:00PM | PBS
    • American men and women in uniform are honored with performances by the National Symphony Orchestra.
  • 30 for 30: “Lance” – 9:00 PM | ESPN
    • Part 1. An in-depth look at the rise and fall of cyclist Lance Armstrong, who won seven straight Tour de France titles before being implicated in one of sport’s largest doping scandals.
  • Rick & Morty – 11:30PM | Cartoon Network / Adult Swim Canada
    • “Childrick of Mort”  – Rick, Morty, Beth, Summer and Jerry share a galactic adventure.

Enjoy your grilled meats!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I can hear fireworks going off in Los Angeles tonight on this Memorial Day eve. And by “Los Angeles fireworks” I don’t mean no sparklers or firecrackers etc., I mean heavy artillery.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

My military experience as a dead war veteran was like this:

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Except it wasn’t wacky and the army wasn’t there and we carried Trident rockets with “strategic assets.”

It was more like this:

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Yet somehow became this:

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I served on the modern day equivalent of USS Reluctant.comment image

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don’t forget old WWI….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

I know it isn’t their holiday, but if they hadn’t laid down their lives to the Hun, we never would have taken Berlin.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Berlin? Sure!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx51eegLTY8

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nomonkeyfun

We musn’t forget the ladies that served the country as well. Life was a beach, until Uncle Charles used decided to waterboard instead of surf board.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I forgot that doctor from Voyager was in this……DAMN IT!

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Brick Meathook

War is hell, apparently.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Lost his hair in ‘Nam.

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeqNJiq9mYU

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I bet Chase is kicking himself right now for getting tires…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Brick,

Let’s not forget these brave souls that lost their lives in the South Pacific except for one intrepid young man that became a D.A. in the New York Justice System and banged everything in sight at night.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I used to watch that show just to see the airplanes. The rest of it sucked.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I loved the airplanes and the insinuation that the South Pacific during WW2 was one big fuck fest.

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Brick Meathook

You know that dog got laid.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://acepilots.com/usmc_boyington.html

He actually has an interesting story; too bad low budget TV fucked it all up. One thing that was apparently accurate; lots of crappy booze was involved.

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ballsofsteelandfury

50 to go in the Coke Cola 600!

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Mr. Ayo

Cmon Jimmy!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

I love Tom Lehrer to an uncomfortable degree.

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Dunstan

Memorial Day is a tradition of spring, which reminds one of one of the many pleasures that springtime affords us all:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY

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Brick Meathook

Let’s not forget the brave men of World War II, who had the balls to nuke Japan.

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Brick Meathook

These brave men were all gassed by the Nazis, except for the colonel who had his head bashed in with a tripod in a Scottsdale motel room.

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Beerguyrob

I seem to recall the English one surviving the war & going on to bang many American women in his role as a “host” on what Americans call a “game show”.

He was sadly killed by a criminal named “Ben Richards”.

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Brick Meathook

The Frenchie ended up on a soap opera, the black guy directed many episodes of The Waltons, and the doofus on the right ended up on Laugh-In and did dog food commercials. That Nazi gas is some evil stuff.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

another early role. King Rat.comment image/revision/latest?cb=20190325113311

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“I’m really glad that the president was able to blow off some steam and relax a bit today by being able to play a little golf.”
—Barack Obama

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There we go!

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Redshirt

I’m imagining Michelle telling Barack to set aside the tradition of “the predecessor doesn’t talk trash about his successor” much like Android 16 telling Gohan to forgo his reservations and fight Cell.

tl;dr Barack Obama just went Super Saiyan II to fight Perfect Trump.

What? I can talk about stuff other than My Little Pony and Star Trek.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFPmUc34JNk

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Gratliff

It’s frankly amazing how many bad episodes I’ll tolerate to get to the good parts

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But that’s just how Dragon Ball works. Super is much the same.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have probably mentioned this too many times already, but the guy who did the original voice of Goku lives a couple houses away from me. I haven’t interacted with him much, but the check they paid their HOA dues with looks like the background of every MAGA twitter bot ever.

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Gratliff

If it’s the one I’m thinking, he voiced half my childhood, including Bob from Reboot.

This is the longtime Japanese voice actor of Goku:
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SonOfSpam

Currently drinking a “Mow Master” pale ale from Ellicottville Brewing Co. (which is in NY somewhere). The reason I bring this up is not to brag about my beer sophistication (which is completely unsurpassed in the history of mankind), but to say the “Mow Master” sounds like a good name for someone expert at the art of cunnilingus.

Good beer too.

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Senor Weaselo

Judging by the map, it’s in the middle of nowhere between Buffalo and Pennsylvania.

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Dunstan

Conversely, I once dated a woman who mentioned that a prior boyfriend had refused to learn said art, declaring that “I’m not going to mow down like a clown.”

I went to goddamn clown college. If nothing else, I know I was better in bed than that guy….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My jaw is sore, and I like it that way.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

We all float down here.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

45 years ago, my buddy Andy bragged about one of his sexual conquests with the quote “I musta mowed her at least 20 times.”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sounds more like a barber’s boast.

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Dunstan

It can be both things!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Trimming, not waxing……

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WCS

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Redshirt

So Trump is ordering the churches closed so people can worship God again? With apologies to Linus, lights please.
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(steps onto the DFO Stage)

/ found on Facebook (in between all the pro-Trump BS)

Just to be clear, the Church has not been closed, so it doesn’t need to be re-opened.
We have simply stopped worshiping in our buildings for a time to protect the health & well-being of our people & our communities.
The Church does not require a building in order to be the Church.
What is required is love, compassion & the presence of God.

Matthew 18:20
Colossians 2:16–17
Luke 14:5

Just a friendly reminder, that the Oompa-Loompa currently serving as President of the United States does not speak for Christians or for God; regardless of what he thinks.

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Senor Weaselo

Yes, but Joel Osteen’s gone several weeks without an addition to his house. Not the house of God, I mean house of Osteen.

/Might have worked better with Jim Bakker

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Redshirt

https://news.yahoo.com/san-francisco-had-1918-flu-100646618.html

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

After holding steady for several weeks, my county is now showing a jump of 20% in diagnosed cases since we started with the “re-opening.” My wine bar is supposedly re-opening next week, and our regular happy hour group is supposed to meet in person on Friday at 1600 hours. Not sure if I am ready to start playing covid Roulette.

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Redshirt

My mom is still waiting for the hospital to allow Overnight Patients for Voluntary Surgery, as her uterus is only precancerous and the tests were all inconclusive. She’s pretty much resigned herself to the fate that she’ll be spending the next year with heating pads wrapped around her front and back taking Oxycotin for the nearly unmanageable pain, while she hovers around being anemic because of the slow blood loss in her uterus only because some selfish pieces of shit can’t think of anyone else before their own needs and desires.

If you haven’t realized it, its a bit of a sore subject for me.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hope the best for her. Hopefully she is not affected by these pieces of shit.

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Redshirt

Currently she’s found a nice groove. As long as she doesn’t over exert herself.

They said Late May to Early June, but the last time she called the Surgery Scheduler, she said the lady on the other end sounded like she was overworked and hovering on a nervous breakdown.

My hope if she gets and out by the end of June, just before the 2nd wave of this hits.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope it all works out best for y’all. I guess the second wave is going to hit at different times, just like the 1st wave did.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And in Texas you have the smartest people in charge. The Kakistocracy is strong in those parts.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

You’re not going to get a single foot-pound of push-back or gainsaying from me on THAT.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We’ve got a few here too, just not nearly as prevalent.

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Redshirt

Ohio has smart people in charge. Unfortunately, they have spines made out of origami.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I can’t tell if he’s drunkenly angry or drunkenly jealous.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

resets the “Days Since Redshirt has Pissed off Moose” counter to 0

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m not, pissed, just wonder if anybody know what they were making tribute to. I don’t care enough to get pissed about a lot of things, not sure why you take it that way.

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Redshirt

Defense mechanism developed over time. When in doubt, assume you’ve may have pissed someone off and tread lightly.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Put on your Vibrams!

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Redshirt

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Big-ass front coming through, very impressive lightning/thunder show. I’ll dig it until it knocks out the power. Tornado warning does not calm my nerves.

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SonOfSpam

Do you not have a finished basement with a kegerator, pool table, and emergency sex doll?

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Solid limestone 2 inches below ground surface throughout the region does not lend itself to basements/cellars in Central Texas. I doubt if you could find a local contractor that would even know how to design and build one. Most houses down this way are either pier & beam or solid cement slab foundations.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So yes, emergency sex doll.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

At my age, I need a viagra just to practice self-abuse. Some plastic inflatable doll ain’t gonna do it for me (although it might have done, 30 or 40 years ago).

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You hate jokes, don’t you.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I hate everything; so, you’re right.
EDIT: I exaggerated. I do not hate DFO, nor do I mind getting dragged here due to my poor participatory skills.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A Sandy Bullock electric sex doll.

Would probably get in trouble for an FF name Sandra Bullock’s Sex Dolls.

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BeylesMuse

Speaking of tension from earlier, this movie oozes tension and is a must see, says I.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In the Mood for Love (2000) dir. Wong Kar-wai.

For anybody else.

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BeylesMuse

I done forgot that part.

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Redshirt

Yeah, I know. My family wants to open our pool but not with this weather.

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Brick Meathook

These brave men were all tortured and killed in Korea:

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SonOfSpam

They might’ve survived, but the doctors were all drunk.
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SonOfSpam

They got Seoul but they’re not a soldier
They got Seoul but they’re not a soldier
They got Seoul but they’re not a soldier
They got Seoul but they’re not a soldier

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Redshirt

Yeah, I especially liked how they gloss over that part.

You can’t show up to surgery drunk, but you’re okay doing life-or-death surgery with a buzz. Plus they can get drunk, even though wounded can show up at any moment. That’s like fire fighters deciding to rebuild the engine in the fire truck because the alarm isn’t sounding at the moment.

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Senor Weaselo

I mean it works for coding.comment image

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Redshirt

Good point. I forgot that’s how I got past CSE 223. I don’t remember what I did, all I know is I was staring at unworkable programming code that represented my Final Exam, and I popped open another can of beer. Next thing I remember was my professor telling me I got an A on the Final Exam and to have a nice break.

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Dunstan

I think there was an episode in one of the middle seasons where they attempted to address at least the first part. Hawkeye was developing a drinking problem and showing up to surgery drunk, finally they confronted him, and after some overacting by Alan Alda, they declared that from now on, Hawkeye would only drink when he was “off duty.” Your point that they are kind of always on call was never really addressed if I recall correctly.

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Redshirt

I think it was the one where Radar got shot because Hawkeye convinced him to go into town to lose his virginity (which canonically would be for the 2nd or 3rd time).

But say what you want about Alan Alda turning MASH into a Dramady, he may overact but he knows how to overact. It doesn’t come off as corny or hammy; it comes off as his character literally at his breaking point.

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Dunstan

Yeah, overall I like Alda. He obviously cared about the character and the show. He also had some nice later-career turns on ER and The West Wing.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A lot of surgeons who are egotistical assholes who think they can handle it and are addicts to something or the other and are in a position not to be questioned until it becomes obvious. Not necessarily merit based, but malpractice insurance based. If there is anything else I can say to build confidence in professions you count on, just let me know.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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Dunstan

Tabula Raza is the kindest, warmest, most wonderful ….

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Viva La Tabula Raza

USS Pueblo crew did it best.comment image

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ballsofsteelandfury

Grown men are STILL turning left and it’s not even half way!

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SonOfSpam

Yeah. but Suarez is down a lap.

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Redshirt

Wake me when someone get the Blue Spiny Shell.

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Senor Weaselo

Personally, I’ll wait to see the Star Power. Speed boost and going through your opposition having them tumble? Best NASCAR ever!

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Redshirt

Lightning bolt. Shrink your enemies and squash them!

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rockingdog

Found a funny:

[being strangled]

me: wait stop

murderer: what

me: did u wash your hands

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Let’s see, I’ve finished the Beer, Rum, and Whiskey stages of grief, looks like Wine is up next.

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Gratliff

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Gratliff

Think I’ll use this impossibly boring holiday weekend to get caught up on yet more shows
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Horatio Cornblower

A friend of mine was really into cycling and exercise and all that shit, and named her dog “Lance” in honor of Mr. Armstrong. I told her that there was huge amount of evidence that he was cheating and that the American media was ignoring it and she just laughed it off. Then she fucked my brother. True story.

Anyway, I was right about Armstrong.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and now that dog has NO balls.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope she and your brother lived happily ever after.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s pretend she named the dog after the character Lance on the original Voltron.
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Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Opposable thumb ook.

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SonOfSpam

“Hey, stupid pussy is better than no pussy”

– Horatio’s brother

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Senor Weaselo

She meant Nance!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82JYKoD439A

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Just had to leave my car at my brother’s gf’s house so my wife could drive me home, so it’s good to see we’re finally returning to normal.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Speaking as a veteran and a true American hero, I can tell you that Veteran’s Day in November is for living veterans, and Memorial Day in May is for the war dead.

There is no day honoring active duty personnel, so if any of them try to horn in on the action I like to tell ’em to “get back up to the fighting and don’t come back until you qualify one way or the other.”

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Actually, there sort of is one for active duty. It’s just that no one gets the day off, so no one gives a fuck.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armed_Forces_Day#United_States

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Brick Meathook

Fuck Armed Forces Day. Get back to the front.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I dug it as a kid growing up as an AF dependent. It usually meant an air show of some kind.

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SonOfSpam

I just thank a troop randomly throughout my day to cover all bases.

Not you, though. You’re the kind of troop that makes other troops look less troopy.

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ballsofsteelandfury

What about F Troop?
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SonOfSpam

“F Troop? Yeah, I hate John McCain.”

– D. Trump

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Brick Meathook

Larry Storch: 97 years old, still alive, still working

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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herodotus450

Since there’s nothing on teevee, I’ve decided to pit my oven vs. the air conditioner to see who’s more powerful. PPV starts at $99 personal checks are accepted.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Would you accept a check signed by the cheeto in chief?

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herodotus450

10% off if you pay in Trump Bux!

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WCS

It’s Lil’ WCS’s fourth birthday. To celebrate, I ate a 20 oz. Del Monico steak, half-pound crab cake, an ear of corn, and a massive piece of birthday cake. I don’t have any liquor, but, here comes the beer.

#Pray4WCSsToilet

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Maybe I’m a little ornery today, but I think that one-balled bastard was a little more than “implicated”.

He’s a worse cheater than Tom Brady and that’s saying something.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Convicted” and he admitted it, so yeah. His biochemist and him made a far better cheating team than Tom.

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SonOfSpam

Yeah, and if I ever lose enough weight, I’m gonna remove that yellow thing from my wrist.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It will come off naturally with the hand.

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SonOfSpam

+Type 2

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ballsofsteelandfury

I think it was Redshirt that was praising this site for him thinking the same-sex relationship being developed on the Harley Quinn animated series between Harley and Poison Ivy was cool.

I swear I’m not being contrarian, but I kinda find it problematic. Neither character in the series had shown any interest in the same sex and now, due to each character developing love for the other, they now need to be attracted to each other?

First, this goes against the prevailing understanding of sexuality as something that’s inside someone, not chosen. Just like you can’t “pray the gay away”, you can’t all of a sudden decide you want to be gay.

Second, it diminishes the role of real love in relationships. You can love someone and care for them deeply without a sexual attraction. Why go there with these characters?

In the show, they showed how Harley had always been a “bad girl” even though she had a good heart. There’s no mention of any sexual feelings towards females in her past. Same for Ivy.

Yes, it’s a fucking cartoon, but if you’re going to tread in these waters, do it right.

It’s too bad because I really liked the first half of the first season. As they got into multi-episode storylines, the pace and writing suffered. And I REALLY like the cast!

Am I wrong here?

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herodotus450

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The right person can bring out things that make you find out about yourself.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That is true and something I didn’t consider.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plus it is a hot fantasy for the kids…… and others.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, I guess. I have same beef with how heterosexual relationships are portrayed on TV. Just because two characters develop love for each other, sex must immediately follow. I’ve found that’s not really the case in real life, but maybe I’m the odd one.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No you are not. A couple of shows that were at an end just went ahead and ruined themselves completely; Bones (bones hehe), and Castle are just a few examples. The dislike and tension make for way better comedy and writing than a “couple” does.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Can we get a strapon labeled STRAPON?

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herodotus450

Quick Robin, equip the Bat Plug!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Fuck! We are out of Batteries!”

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SonOfSpam

Two attractive chicks are ALWAYS free to find love with each other as long as I can watch.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Spanish word for “feet” is “pies”. I feel like this could cause great confusion (though considerable enthusiasm on both sides) if Rex Ryan were attempting to explain this concept to Andy Reid.

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ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

No mention of grown men turning left for hours??

For shame!

Coca Cola 600 is on Fox, of course.

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Mr. Ayo

Well it’s in a rain delay

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ballsofsteelandfury

Right as I typed that…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wright.

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Beerguyrob

I made my decision!

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SonOfSpam

I can’t imagine Coke and Fox together without Larry Kudlow.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Before that bitch Ann Landers took over, I said in my advice column that it’s inappropriate to honor living service members on Memorial Day, you should kill them first.

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SonOfSpam

you were the original Man Landers ppl forget that

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