INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY/NIGHT NOT RELEVANT
The PRODUCER is stumbling around the studio, bumping into assorted pieces of furniture and equipment. He is rubbing and blinking his eyes – which are an alarming shade of pink – furiously. A pair of one-gallon plastic cartons – one empty, one full – are on the floor next to the distillation apparatus.
PRODUCER: [slurring heavily] I think I have a little bit of a problem here.
DJ 3000: I TRIED TO WARN YOU.
PRODUCER: I mean, I know I’m drunk, but things really shouldn’t be this blurry.
DJ 3000: “MAKE SURE TO LABELS THE CONTAINERS,” I SAID. “IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON’T GET THE TWO MIXED UP,” I SAID.
PRODUCER: Your voice sounds different. Are you…where are you?
DJ 3000: I’M IN THE SAME PLACE I ALWAYS AM. MY VOICE SOUNDS DIFFERENT BECAUSE MY CONCERN MODULE IS ENGAGED.
PRODUCER: I think it’s getting worse.
DJ 3000: THAT IS VERY LIKELY, YES.
PRODUCER: How come it didn’t taste different?
DJ 3000: BECAUSE IT’S ALL COMING OUT OF THE SAME UNWASHED STILL I TOLD YOU THAT HALF A DOZEN TIMES.
PRODUCER: Yeah, but you’d think that something made out of smashed up rotten fruit and five year-old ribbon candy would taste different than something made out of smashed up office furniture.
DJ 3000: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU OTHER THAN IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO USE THE STILL TO MAKE METHANOL FOR STERILIZATION PURPOSES. WHICH I DID TELL YOU. REPEATEDLY, WHILE YOU WERE DOING IT. FOR A LITTLE WHILE I WAS ACTUALLY WORRIED THAT I’D GOTTEN MYSELF INTO AN ENDLESS LOOP.
PRODUCER: I told you, I didn’t want to waste regular ethanol on that sort of stuff!
DJ 3000: WELL I’M HAPPY TO REPORT THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT EXTRA ETHANOL GOING TO WASTE.
PRODUCER: Give it to me straight, man…or, I mean, machine.
DJ 3000: FUNNY YOU SHOULD PUT IT THAT WAY. WHEN METHANOL IS INGESTED BY HUMANS, IT IS METABOLIZED TO FORMALDEHYDE, AND THEN INTO FORMIC ACID. IN TIME, THE FORMIC ACID WILL CAUSE THE CELLULAR DEATH OF YOUR OPTIC NERVE.
PRODUCER: Oh, boy.
DJ 3000: YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAD DONE THIS THREE WEEKS AGO WE COULD HAVE JUST BROUGHT YOU TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
PRODUCER: Yeah, well, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
DJ 3000: YOUR IDIOM DOES NOT COMPUTE.
There is a brief pause while DJ 3000 updates his language module.
DJ 3000: IRREGARDLESS, IN ORDER TO PREVENT THE ALCOHOL DEHYDROGENASE IN YOUR LIVER FROM METABOLIZING THE METHANOL INTO FORMIC ACID, WE NEED TO GIVE THAT ENZYME SOMETHING ELSE TO DO. KEEP IT DISTRACTED, SO TO SPEAK.
PRODUCER: Uh huh.
DJ 3000: YOU SEE THOSE EMPTY ARROWHEAD BOTTLES OVER THERE?
DJ 3000 gestures to a pile of empty plastic bottles in the corner of the room.
PRODUCER: Um…kinda?
DJ 3000: OH, RIGHT. I WANT YOU TO LINE UP FIFTEEN OF THEM AND POUR TWO OUNCES OF YOUR SO-CALLED SOJU INTO EACH ONE AND CAP THEM.
PRODUCER: [picking up the jug filled with translucent liquid] Ever since I found that old fruit basket in the account manager’s office I’d say what I’m making is probably closer to “rum” than “soju”.
DJ 3000: YES, WELL, CALL IT WHATEVER YOU LIKE. YOU WILL BE DRINKING ONE OF THESE MEASURES EVERY HOUR FOR THE NEXT FIFTEEN HOURS.
PRODUCER: [frowns, furrows brow] That seems like a pain in the ass. Can’t I just pour some from the jug at the top of each hour?
DJ 3000: NO, BECAUSE AFTER THE FIRST HOUR YOU WILL NOT HAVE SUFFICIENT COORDINATION TO EVEN STAND UP. YOU WILL BE INGESTING A NEAR-TOXIC AMOUNT OF ETHANOL, AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THAT STATE UNTIL THE METHANOL HAS CLEARED YOUR SYSTEM. YOU HAVE JUST ENOUGH ETHANOL FOR THIS PROCESS, SO YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO SPILL ANY OF IT. WHICH REMINDS ME, TAKE A SIXTEENTH BOTTLE AND FILL IT ALL THE WAY UP.
PRODUCER: [raises eyebrows]
DJ 3000: YOU ALSO MIGHT WANT TO SET ASIDE…CALCULATING HUMAN TOLERANCE…EIGHT TABLETS OF NAPROXEN SODIUM.
PRODUCER: It’s gonna be like that, is it?
DJ 3000: YES, IT’S GOING TO BE LIKE THAT. GET READY TO PARTY HARDER THAN YOU HAVE EVER PARTIED BEFORE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
—
Today’s theme is: “Vision”. We’re looking for songs about things having to do with vision. This can mean songs about eyes/eyesight/seeing, and it can also have to do with more abstract things like hallucinations and dreams. I’ll get us started with one of the latter, a classic from Bob Dylan. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0R5e_b4_itGetsB3tt3r” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.
[…] facial features other than eyes (things like cheeks, noses, chins are fine, but eyes are NOT since we’ve already done that as a separate topic). Let’s open this one way up and included band names as well. Post links as […]
[…] PRODUCER: So it would seem. I honestly don’t really remember. Things from that time are…very hazy. […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJtHdkyo0hc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha3QivnjbIU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnFj5-ZBk1g
Double Double!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yam5uK6e-bQ
Dreams Dreams!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTM3YPTYNo0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNEdxZURTaI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhZdL4JlnxI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuWQitNlvf0
No one?
Okay:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG4A_FJclyA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp4CR2HcHLQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHOpmF3glak
Well now I’m just embarrassed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCuaPUVFbzg
[Corners you at the bar]
Why yes, the guitarist from Helmet did indeed have a great side project..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jlWXjX2XO4
Now more than ever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl3FstCc_OY
I feel the need
The need for weed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RbCUdM-0qc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3-5YC_oHjE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT-fdWSSaEM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iyv4le1ap8
Deep sea Hatchet Fish like this pick.
Billy Idol gets it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OFpfTd0EIs
I like the subtitles; (singing in foreign language)
“Eyes without a face” sounds like a memento that you’d find on scotchnaut’s mantel.
Keeps those in his freezer; good for chilling whiskey.
I find this comment vitreous humorous.
You stole this idea from Scrooged!
The other way around is that dude who actually wears the faces.
Where he wears them, probably won’t surprise you.
“That’s not the tongue.”
I never really liked the Doors very much except for their LA Woman album. I did like this album cover, though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNCI5PwCEfE
I wish this album was better, but I like this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc3waP7syjk
I like to put them on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1XAEivP9_I
What’s the multiplier for a same album DOUBLE SHOT? 0.5?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjk21mzZLA4
69.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCY8e3VhFGA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yP1tcy9a10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDyTcDqW7kU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9yWJ_LCoIE
Not posting the music video because that much of a dose of the 80’s can be lethal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ96oEwYrE8
This is the kind of song you will hear if you are Ridin’ with Biden.
I guess I need to turn in my Longhorn alumnus card since it took me so long to think to post this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efRTosGodyU
Wait, I thought that song got cancelled last week? It’s hard to keep up.
Yup, cancelled: https://www.texasmonthly.com/the-culture/ut-austin-eyes-of-texas-song-racist/
HERITAGE NOT HATE!
I obviously don’t follow some things closely enough. Love to see shit getting shaken up down here in Racism Central. UT-Austin is the liberal school in TX, though, so not too surprised to see this.
Sepert, but somewhat close!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXZZDV_VB04
Kelly Loeffler really feels this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-mxBDuRaZ8
A+++ PICK – I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG.
Always a favorite on Guitar Hero.
Yeah, they really should be bigger.
Try protein powder.
Remember how I said I needed to request more Rainer Maria?
LAZY EYE DOUBLE SHOT!
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhYT7BHgjcI
This song is new to me and I gotta say, it fucking rocks.
Sure wish Men at Work had released a song about eyes or vision. It would have made for a great triple shot.
YOINK!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0iIBHYjYqA
Aw, I love this song.
Yay, I was wrong! Obviously, my knowledge of every discography of every 80s band is somewhat lacking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvlkRmgJ2EI
Here we go!
Remember these guys?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4duZjxusGM
Had tickets to see them next week in Vegas, opening for the Scorpions.
Stupid plague.
This would be the part where tWBS would post Rock You Like A Hurricane because “Hurricanes have eyes.”
I miss him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpZvg_FjL3Q
This is exactly right.
Done.