For the rest of our natural lives, we will all be able to nod at strangers in the street, and say “2020.”  Everyone will get it.

Into this Void Of Ultimate Despair steps The Shield, promising us our beloved FITBAW (even maybe on Saturdays!), despite #NuAIDS’ pernicious presence.  Sommet of a triumph of the will perhaps.

Anyway, if I were a betting man (breaks out in hysterical laughter), I would set the over/under on weeks/slates played at 13.5, and bet the over.  The NFL is basically a license to print money, and TV is dying for their product.  If there is any way under the sun to make NFL 2020 happen?  It will happen.

Shit, I doubt even that many fuckers DIE to make it happen.

But think of the alternative – next to nothing to compete with your racist uncle’s diatribes about Diamond Joe.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.  FITBAW!!!

Plus, I have roped three Commentist Party luminaries (Scotchy, Spam, Litre) into my auction league…which will add another dorky element to Instant Hippo Thoughts.  ONE GODDAMNED THING can go right, yeah??

Which brings me to my more specific topic – what of my beloved Donks?  Well, they assembled a fuckton of downfield (and red zone) weaponry for Drew Lock…and then hired a fossil for his offensive coordinator.  Plus, the corpse of Melvin Gordon.  As usual with Our Equine Lord and SavioUr…a mix of forward thinking with a dose of WTF.

But you know what?  Lock already did the impossible.  No, not the 4-1 record down the 2019 stretch (though that was quite impressive).  I’m talking about the suburban white kid rapper thing, and somehow coming across as endearing.  Hey, even I loved it!  And per my kid who moved out there last year?  The town is absolutely smitten.

When you have a QB, you have the proverbial “chip and a chair.”

Unfortunately, said chip and chair would be significant upgrades at each offensive tackle position.  Gulp.

Maybe once Judge Jeudy made it to their 1st round pick…you let the new Paedo State “intangibles” WR (to replace the bust that is DaeSean Hamilton) slide, and take a serviceable tackle option?

But oh well.  Not like this was going to be a Superb Owl season, anyway.  I am just happy to have any amount of hope.

Adding to that hope stew?  Don Fangio’s 2nd year defense.  After a mostly-flaccid 2019 pass rush, Denver gets its Chubb back.  Von Miller couldn’t be happier, and I think Von (when not constantly double and triple teamed) has one or two great years left in him.

The secondary is also apparently coming along very, very nicely.  We had to play so many CBs last season, that the 2020 depth battles will be intense and not just “last man standing.”

I miss Two of the Good Ones, though.  Always will.

What about fantasy contributors?  Stay the fuck away from our RBs.  It will be a committee, and an inconsistent one.  Teams will make Lock beat them with his arm.  And yes, Lock himself is TOTES rosterable.  Courtland Sutton could have another Great Leap Forward (he’s maybe the most underrated skill player in the AFC), and Jeudy will hit a few long scores, bare minimum.  There’s the new TE (4th round pick) who played with Lock at Mizzou, and is fucking ginormous.  I am not even going to try to spell his name, but I bet he’d be a fine $1 tight end.

Of course, kicker and defense.  The easiest homer picks to make/recommend.  McManus is insane, even by kicker standards.  But quite good.  And there will be sacks and turnovers created.

Overall, this feels like an 8-8 team to me, so it’s likely 7-9 or so.  Let us hope the fanbase and front office have the patience for a slow-build project, because I do like where things are headed.

Also, fuck Donald Trump with a giant, rusty dildo.  And no, Falwell Jr. can’t watch.