It’s-a-me, your favorite infrequent DFO contributor and self-loathing Eagles fan, WhyEaglesWhy! Thanks to blaxabbath for asking me to participate, and I hope someday he’ll tell me what his username means.*

The astute reader will note that several of blaxabbath’s placeholder Quotables this week followed a theme. Namely, that yet again, a shady, bad faith process has appointed another unqualified partisan hack to a position of power and authority in these here United States. Reading through the winning submissions, I was suddenly struck by a truth I was not ready to come to terms with.

The Eagles are just like the Republican Party. Both are inexplicably in first place despite being utter trash, and those who could dislodge them from first place are incapable due to comical ineptitude, cowardice, or both. I would like to say that this week’s results could change the narrative in both cases, but that would require me to root for the Cowboys.

Well, we all have to make our sacrifices. Just in case it makes a difference on Tuesday…GO BOYS.

Ugh, I feel sick. Well, sicker.

Anyway, on to this week’s Quotables winners!

* I honestly did not know what blaxabbath’s username meant, and I realized it during the writing of this post. I’m going to go cast myself Into the Void.