Well, this is a bummer isn’t it? It’s another one of those ‘point and laugh’ games unless you’re a backer of one of these squadoos. Then it’s a matter of “Oof! Please don’t make this more embarrassing than it has to be”. The possibility exists but it’s unlikely we’ll get “Derrick Henry forces Josh Norman to hand in his man card” levels of mortification.
TO THE GAME!
Cowboys/Eagles:
-There’s a DiNucci kid on the block (Berman’s nascent bloated corpse smiles) by the name of Ben getting his very first start in the big leagues. Who is he? What are his strengths? Well, he went to James Madison and led them to the championship game. He had a 71% completion rate and ran a total of 122 times. He’s got a decent arm but you’ll not likely see much of it tonight.
-OC Moore will likely dial up plenty of short passes in the form of screens, flare outs and quick slants so that Little Ben won’t have many tete a tetes with the likes of Brandon Graham or Fletcher Cox.
-In turn Eagles DC Schwartz will disguise the hell out of his coverages in order to confuse the youngster, moving his safeties and lb’s all over the place.
-Don’t count on the Dallas D to force turnovers tonight-they’ve got all of two(!) so far this year. That decision to let Byron Jones leave and play rook cb Trevon Diggs has been a frickin’ disaster. Rookie cb’s tend to struggle and it’s no different with Diggs-he’s given up 437 yards so far this year which is 2nd most in the league. Guess who’s going to get picked on again tonight?
-Philly will be without Ertz, DeSean and Sanders but it may not even matter.
Enjoys the dregs of the NFL, folks!
I’m actually surprised DiNucci completed that intentional grounding.
C’mon Dallas. Give up another safety, and we got ourselves a scorigami.
Dead Cowboys
Photoshop Dak, Zeke, etc faces into this
…Do Cowboys receivers not realize QBs can sidearm?
It looks to me like Cooper checked out of this game about 40 minutes ago.
Trevon Diggs played really well tonight, says Cris, talking about the guy who gave up both TDs to the Eagles in a game that the Cowboys are about to lose by 2 TDS.
Never change, you mealy-mouthed chucklefuck, never change.
Just wouldn’t be an NFC East game without a completely unnecessary attempt to run up the score at the end
So, yeah. I don’t think it’s too early to talk Philly Super Bowl
Super!
Turns out pretty much all human activity registers on a seismograph. So not to minimize that awesome Lynch run, but calling it, or anything else coming out of a stadium, an earthquake, is just silly
2.6 on the Richter scale tho.
Well, thank god they didn’t keep the cameras on that scrum long enough for us to see who came out with the ball, because that would have been entertaining.
Wait. You can onside a free kick??
I learned this just now as well.
As did 95% of the players
Holy shit. I didn’t even notice the safety. What black magic is this?
They got a delay of game when the eagles had to many players on the field.
Free points!
I’ll Fletch YOUR Cox!
Oh, shit, wait…no
For anyone that grew up being force fed America’s Team, results like this are glorious justice.
I was wondering the other day where the line is that we start to feel bad for them like we do Cleveland, it being a quarter century since they were relevant and all that, but it’s still funny to me, so we definitely haven’t crossed it yet.
I’ve seen the Cowboys win 5 Super Bowls. No one should ever feel sorry for Cowboy fans.
Massholes gonna have a losing season for the first time in like 20 years and I thirst for their sorrow
I’ll feel sorry for them in hell
He can’t even throw a spiral for Christ’s sake.
Fuck off with your Christmas ad Walmart. ITS FUCKING NOVEMBER FIRST
Order your Xmas gifts now and maybe the USPS will deliver them by 25 December.
Maybe with some bonus absentee ballots.
Especially if you asked Santa for a new President
I know I shouldn’t take commercials literally, but… if you have a dog that likes to steal and bury shit, WHY DO YOU HAVE A DOGGY DOOR INSTALLED SO HE CAN RUN OUTSIDE WITH SHIT HE STOLE?
Maybe the dog isn’t house trained?
So he knows enough to use the doggy door to go outside to shit, but not enough to “bark at the humans to let me out so I can shit”?
If that’s the case, then there is no choice but to kill the dog. He ain’t that cute.
There are plenty of no-kill shelters out there. And lots of folks are adopting animals due to being shut in.
That’s true, there’s usually a bigger sucker out there somewhere.
How did they not review that!?
Why extend the pain?
Touche’
You know how you get kinda unmotivated about your job when nothing seems to matter?
Ye…I mean, no! No! Absolutely not!
Terry Macauly seems like the guy you hire to say “if you have more points chances are you will win the game”
It’s been said, but I feel I should emphasize. ONE OF THESE TEAMS WILL PROBABLY GO TO THE PLAYOFFS
*snort*
How is that not down
It is. That one has to come back.
Narrator: It didn’t
McCarthy should have challenged it.
Of course, as pointed out above, what’s the point?
Cris says that DiNucci is starting to see things that he wasn’t seeing in the first half, just as DiNucci fails to see the most obvious blitz in the history of blitzes.
OMFG. This is glorious.
Huh. Sure.
“Next week, Cris, we get to kiss the asses of Brees and Brady!”
“I’m puckering up already, Al!”
/buys a controlling share in Chapstick
A tie on the other hand seems unlikely
Dallas TD and a missed PAT.
The most unlikely part of that, of course, is Dallas scoring a TD.
Booooo
Can the refs just run 6 minutes off the clock.
No, they just figured out that Cooper is still on the team and I need the points!
Monkey Ward
The super annoying part is that I really like Philly, and would happily live there, but damn, really?
I’ll probably end up in Wilmington though, cause Delaware be cheap
The thing I remember most about growing up in Wilmington is the sight of all the bank HQs that you can see from the slums
Late stage capitalism!
It wasn’t all bad. Eventually, they cleared all the homeless out of the abandoned railyard and put in a minor league baseball stadium so we got fireworks once a month and stadium lights that made it physically impossible to sleep on game nights.
http://billsportsmaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/daniel-s-frawley-stadium_wilmington-blue-rocks_b.gif
Oh, here’s a better one. My childhood home’s in the yellow box.
Why with the backwards batting practice?
Home runs go right to the parking lot as in all good single A stadiums, so they would do that for home run derby things so fans could get hit with them instead
And here’s the view if you look to the left from it. Google Street View had me on some sad nostalgia bullshit a few weeks back.
Yeah, that’s Delaware alright.
I’m looking forward to being the clueless old person living in the slum
So, like Mumbai in India?
I need gin for this final quarter
Costco Jamesons whiskey. Enough for OT if needed
THERE’S ANOTHER QUARTER OF THIS?
Protests in Philadelphia right now. Who could ever think that the police department that firebombed an entire block might behave in an inhumane manner??
?w=1600
Osage Ave on fire
8 yard pass on 4th & 10. Hello, Mike McCarthy
3rd & 10. Whatever. Same result.
Followed by whatever that was on 4th and 2. Roll-out? Botched hand-off? Everyone go deep and hope for the best?
It could have been all 3!!!
Big blue oompa loompa says hi
Such a bad spot. If anything he lost a foot.
4th and inches, I know, DEEP PASS
I read that first as deep ass and it made sense
lol
HOW IS THIS ONLY THE END OF THE THIRD??
The 4th quarter begins, so it’s time for Wentz to take his Adderall and start balling
THIS GAME I CALL “IT” BECAUSE ITS NOTHING BUT CLOWNS IN THE SEWER
Refs seem to have heavy money on the Eagles -5
Chris Long would fit right in here
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” data-conversation=”none” data-cards=”hidden” data-partner=”tweetdeck”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Well I’m gonna smoke a pound of lettuce if the birds don’t pull this out, so it’s fitting.</p>— chris long (@JOEL9ONE) <a href=”https://twitter.com/JOEL9ONE/status/1323102527164948485?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>November 2, 2020</a></blockquote>
Well, now I want “Fulgham played cricket in high school” to become the new Jimmy Graham/basketball thing.
Go Birds.
Diggs has 2 INTs and has looked like shit all night.
The NFC East!
Randy Gregory’s “demons”, as Cris says, is that he really likes pot, something that is legal in many states, but not in the NFL, because Roger Goodell is a galactic disgrace.
Only 5 minutes to go until Carson remembers this game counts
Im watching in hopes that the Eagles pin Dallas to their goal line, force a safety and this game ends in a 9-9 tie. Of which, would be scorigami.
Collinsworth essentially blaming Jesus for that last Wentz interception is just the apotheosis of Cris.
Why would either team even bother throwing the ball the rest of this game?
Side bets?