If this game is to be compared to a starter I’m going with Pigs in a Blanket. Matt Staffordy-brand doughy goodness encompassing the fetid after-remnants of various cut-rate animals-“pigeon throat never tasted this good!” is on tap today. Anyhoo, if you have any other comparisons, assault me in the comments.

TO THE GAME!

Bucs/Lions:

-Tampa is at 9-5 and with a win the AFC South gets another playoff team. Detroit is 5-9 and, um. [checks notes] How did they get 5 wins?

-Well, let’s just say that the 6th of the season won’t likely happen here. Second head coach Bevell has a Covid on his scoresheet so the Director in Charge of Embarrassment Avoidance is Robert Prince. It gets worse-the DC is also out so this means that two guys that have never called plays at the pro level will be in charge of the Lions today. Guh. Jeebers. The HOO-MAN-TEE!

-The Lions should be able to put some points on the board in the second half after the game is out of reach because Tampa’s cb’s Davis and Murphy-Bunting have allowed passer ratings of 137 and 138 respectively.

-What’s that? Brady leading a deeply flawed team into the playoffs? Sounds familiar. [searches memory] Oh yeah, that happened just last year.

-Clean pockets? Brady’s gonna have lots of them because the Lions pass rush is a whisper of a reality. Clean conscience? No, Brady ain’t got one of those.

-Should you have to decide between Godwin and Brown today, good luck to you. Though the former has been running more routes the latter has been getting a higher target share (18% to 12%) and a higher target rate (30% to 13%).

Hit them keyboards strong, folks.