One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday. Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and now we all know how that would go), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about. Good times.

Well, it’s been long enough. After a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes. The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real. So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over. You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting. We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership. That’s no fun. So these drafts, which I expect to last as long as I remember to do them, (2-3 weeks), will just leap right into it.

Also, for content and alliteration reasons, we’ve moved the draft to Monday mornings, so get ready to kill your productivity right from the start.

First come, first served, subject to my randomly assigning the first pick to someone else, generally because they came up with the idea. Or because they bribed me. For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one. That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get, which I hope will be a lot.

Before launching into this week, I have to give a big thank you to The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem, who so ably filled in for me while I was on vacation and generally minimizing my electronic time. Also I was too lazy to get one in ahead of time. The Rev jumped right in, and while I noticed he made fun of himself for not being a suitable replacement for yours truly, I just want to say, don’t sell yourself short, Rev; you’re a tremendous slouch.

And that one-liner, from ‘Caddyshack’, of course, brings is to this week’s topic: Memorable Lines. The rules are simple, until I disagree with your pick and arbitrarily change them. You can select from any medium, film, TV, literature of any kind, so long as the line you choose is NO MORE THAN ONE SENTENCE. You can, of course, include the set-up line, or lines, to get to the one-liner. Context, like bacon, makes everything better. Doesn’t have to be comedy; if you like a one-liner from a dramatic movie, a romance, or -sigh- a goddamn porno, well, you go right ahead and draft it.

I’ve been toying with this one for most of the day now, and my first pick is probably the best pick possible for this draft:

With that gauntlet thrown down, the rest of you are on the clock