Request Line: Weekend At Zuernie’s – Part 3 (Directors)

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are yet again hard at work in their office.  One – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is standing in front of a whiteboard covered with post-it notes that contain unfamiliar names.  The other – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is pacing back and forth pointing from card to card, nodding or shaking his head.  A third person in the office is lounging on the couch, throwing a football up in the air to himself and catching it.

COLE BEASLEY: So where when do we actually start shooting?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [glances at him] Is that all you think about?  Just take an Uber up to Burbank, there’s easily half a dozen gun ranges up there.

COLE BEASLEY: No, no, I mean the film.

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: We’re not filming anything until we’ve got a director lined up.

COLE BEASLEY: Is that what all of those names are?

RTD: That’s right, Cole.

COLE BEASLEY: How come I ain’t never heard of none of those fellas?

DTZM: [points at a card] You haven’t heard of Giovanni Campari?

COLE BEASLEY: Nope.

RTD: What about Nick Punch?

COLE BEASLEY: [shakes his head]

DTZM: Eleanorita Chihuahua?

RTD: J.M.T. Marconi-Masterson?

COLE BEASLEY: No.

DTZM: Svetlana Chernobyl?

RTD: Vincent O. Vincenzo?

DTZM: What about Hudson Spacecastle?

RTD: You have to have heard of Hudson Spacecastle.

COLE BEASLEY: No, no, and NO.  Damnit, who are these people?  You guys can’t hire someone like, I don’t know, Steven Jewlaser…I mean Spielberg?

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS and RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY erupt into laughter that lasts an uncomfortably long time.

DTZM: Actually, we don’t do projects with Steven anymore.

RTD: Very difficult to work with.

DTZM: We talked about this, though. We’re looking for an outsider. 

COLE BEASLEY: Is that what all those names are?

RTD: [gestures at whiteboard] Those names are actually the names of music video directors.

DTZM: We’ve found that it’s an excellent well of untapped talent.

RTD: Plus, they work cheap.

DTZM: David Fincher got his start directing music videos, if you can believe it.

COLE BEASLEY raises his eyebrows in surprise.

RTD: You do know who David Fincher is, right Cole?

COLE BEASLEY: OF COURSE I DO YOU TRYIN’ TO CALL ME STUPID?

DTZM: Of course not, Cole.  Let’s revisit some of his work, though.  He became well-known because he used the music video as a means to do more than just promote a song – many of his videos became rather iconic.

RTD: And the best of them told an actual story.

DTZM: Speaking of which…we’ve got an episode of Request Line that is well past due, so let’s use that a theme.

RTD: Music videos as short films?

DTZM: Exactly.  I’ll get us started with one that Fincher did with a little band called “Aerosmith”.

Today’s theme is: Music Videos as Short Films. We’re looking for songs whose videos tell a genuine story.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7+4_11uV!a and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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[…] Of course, of course.  We’ve touched up the script, done all the casting, hired a director, got the tagline written, and we’ve already pinned down the target audience. You can […]

Horatio Cornblower

“I’m So Scared” by The Blair Witch Project

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuyeQYQqnhk

Anthony In TX

Had to go to Vimeo for this one, but “Smack My Bitch Up” by The Prodigy was a pretty bananas video back in the day.

https://vimeo.com/144850907

Dunstan

I don’t claim to be a good impressionist, but I could usually get a cheap laugh back in the day doing Casey Kasem introducing this song. There’s just something inherently funny about Casey saying “Smack My Bitch Up.”

Anthony In TX

I imagine Casey would have struggled a bit with making that one family-friendly.

BeefReeferLives

At least I’m enjoying the ride! Fun stuff, RTD – Thanks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH7I6ibA-SM

Viva La Tabula Raza

Turns out Weird Al is a rich vein. I will stop now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IUMCyAR6U0

BeefReeferLives

Love Milton Berle’s cameo in this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8teXR8VE4

Viva La Tabula Raza

When this album came out 1984, buddy of mine in the Navy, really good guitarist, said Ratt would be as big as and around for as long as the Stones and The Who. Well…
He was big on Sarah Palin, which is when I intentionally lost contact with him. I’m sure he is a big Trump guy now, as well.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Dunstan
Viva La Tabula Raza

From Albuquerque downthread to Beverly Hills.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WPzFnZkZmI

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
BeefReeferLives

Banned by MTV, so you know it’s good…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSSvzCNBvlQ

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Banned from embedding too, apparently… Weird. Link works & video plays, but no embedding.
(It’s Neil Young’s “This Note’s for You”)

Viva La Tabula Raza

MTV schlobbing the knob of their advertisers, natch. It still won MTV Award for Best Video of the Year despite the ban. It is laughable.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

A video where the guy’s a drunk and is ruining everyone’s life but his lady still forgives him and loves him? Didn’t realize Johnette Napolitano talked to my wife.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdpTcvSn8HQ&ab_channel=ConcreteBlondeVEVO

BeefReeferLives

Gotta post this one for the Niedermeyer appearance alone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xmckWVPRaI

BeefReeferLives
Dunstan

+1 vegemite sandwich

I like that when the guy hands him the sandwich, he does it with an Aussie footy move.

SonOfSpam

I mostly like the juggling during the flute solo.

Dunstan

Heh. “Flute solo.” Sounds like my weekend plans.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Going to band camp?

Viva La Tabula Raza

At least this one shows a story mixed in with the live performance. San Antonio boy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvaEJzoaYZk

Viva La Tabula Raza

This is a little frustrating. I think of a cool story song and the video is a fucking live performance, or just the song playing showing the album cover.

Dunstan

Yeah, story songs aren’t necessarily story videos, and vice versa.

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Of course, instead of imaging the video and it’s bittersweet “coming of age” theme, when I hear this song I now see this in my minds eye…
 
comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

The story here is chicks like Weird Makeup David Bowie more than Dork David Bowie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZnryZ5rDbs&ab_channel=DavidBowie

BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

Unfortunateely the Wilburys didn’t do a video of this Dylan tune, cool story. But these guys did an interesting cover, and it’s three minutes shorter than the original.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fBd32vg3As

BeefReeferLives
Dunstan
Dunstan
BeefReeferLives
Viva La Tabula Raza

Surprised I didn’t see this in the Tom Petty subthread down below. Probably his freakiest one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aowSGxim_O8

BeefReeferLives

Love the old school “legcruncher” ATVs in this…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=657TZDHZqj4

BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

ALMOST posted this. “Peter Cetera wants a stereotypical 80s chick and she doesn’t care if he dies during the pursuit”

SonOfSpam

Is Bruce Springsteen gonna bring the car back to the sexy lady and fuck her? Or will he just drop off the keys and leave? LET’S FIND OUT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrpXArn3hII&ab_channel=BruceSpringsteenVEVO

SonOfSpam

The story of impeccably0dressed British guys who put gold paint on chicks while enjoying a nice sax solo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntG50eXbBtc&ab_channel=spandauballet

Dunstan

Oh, THAT old cliche.

Dunstan

“Hey you! Mr. Rock and Roll!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cFOLFtw2Ic

SonOfSpam

Awesome this is just so bad and 80s

Dunstan

That does not compute.

If ERA=”80s” then Quality <> “Bad”

You know what that is? It’s SCIENCE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V83JR2IoI8k

Dunstan

Interestingly, the “Larry” that they ditch at 3:30 in the video grew up to be Larry from Regina. He was always annoying.

Brocky

Not an official video, but the closest thing to one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE37e1eK2mY&feature=youtu.be

I usually don’t comment on these cuz I usually don’t have fridays off, I’m on vacation, something pretty cool just happened to me, I’ll post on the next thread, at like 830. Be there to see it.

SonOfSpam

(betting we’re gonna hear about how Brocky sprouted his first pube)

Brocky

More like a chubby. You’ll just tune in to find out

Brocky

That’s 830 Eastern time

SonOfSpam

Here’s a nice “what if Columbine rocked” story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNZezhUkOSk&ab_channel=PearljamVEVO

Last edited 3 years ago by SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

This tells a story about what it would be like if Eminem had fans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOMhN-hfMtY&t=1s&ab_channel=EminemVEVO

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

Shit, have to get this one in as well…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Naf5uJYGoiU

Horatio Cornblower

The Lumineers did something like 10 videos that tell the story of 3-4 generations of alcoholics. Not all the songs are great, but watching the videos in sequence is pretty cool.

Anyway, this is one of them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pi1LxuDHc

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Need to know the story of her Sugar Walls.

Horatio Cornblower

Ask Prince.

Oh, wait.

BeefReeferLives