Why The Hell Did I Do This To Myself?!

Hi everyone,

It’s your old pal Beerguy again.

That’s about the right reaction. After all, I did go out for cigarettes & didn’t come back. And given that I watched my Packers go down to ignominious defeat, I’m used to the sound.

I did note before I left that life was changing for ol’ BGR, and as such I figured I’d better step away for a bit, until I figured out how to balance all my work responsibilities. I was returning to full-time teaching. No more drop-in instruction for me, where I could wile away spare moments writing Open Threads and History posts. I was back to full-time, front-of-class teaching, with all the concomitant lesson planning and homework marking that entails. I did use some of that prep to help [DFO] cover the recent Canadian election, and for a little bit it felt like I was doing okay.

And I was the union rep, a job requiring one day per week attendance at the union office liaising with others about how best to manage the needs of teachers during a COVID pandemic in one of the few places that doesn’t require proof of vaccine to attend.

So, you might ask, how’s that going?

On the personal front, in late September I encountered a brush with a potentially deadly virus. No, not COVID, but one of the classics we all seem to have forgotten about during this recent pandemic,

Shingles!

Now, many people have heard of it, and plenty of people “know someone” who’s come down with a case, but few have actually had it. If you were both serious and curious, you could let those totally above-board & compassionate souls at the CDC tell you what’s what,

or the fine folks at the nerd factory known as the Mayo Clinic,

But since I’m lazy, let’s let the medical practitioners at the now-shuttered Yahoo! Answers fill you in.

The damned thing is, I was supposed to get the vaccine earlier this summer. But then, once I got my second COVID shot, the doctor wanted to wait a couple of months, to let my body recover from that before I paid for & started the two rounds of Shingrix. Throw in having to wait due to the start of the school year, and

I was off work for a week. I didn’t get the blisters, though. Because it got caught early, and because of all the stress from work (more on that below), I got it in the head.

The swelling was the fantastic side effect. I already have a size-8 head, so the swelling ballooned me up to over 8 1/4. I looked like Rocky Dennis for about four days – I couldn’t close my eyes due to the swelling, but my tear ducts were blocked by the swelling, so I had both dry eyes and insomnia. It took two days to swell up, and then three days to wind down.

The kicker? The drug they prescribe is Valtrex – the herpes sore drug. Good thing WineWife was there when I got it, otherwise it would have made for a fun discussion around the medicine cabinet once she found the bottle.

Then just after Canadian Thanksgiving, and only a week back at work, while in the midst of heeding the call of nature, what magically happens while standing in front of the bowl?

Once again, my body is not a temple but a festering cesspool of misery – just like Yahoo! Answers predicted.

I’m not posting a picture of any of that – partly because we aren’t a German fetish site; mostly because I just cried in relief as I watched that little fucker swirl its way down the drain. I’m just lucky it was one, and not 420 (nice) like that poor bastard in China had to deal with.

Again, I’m going to let the know-it-alls from Minnesota explain it for me:

Kidney stones (also called renal calculi, nephrolithiasis or urolithiasis) are hard deposits made of minerals and salts that form inside your kidneys. Diet, excess body weight, some medical conditions, and certain supplements and medications are among the many causes of kidney stones. Kidney stones can affect any part of your urinary tract — from your kidneys to your bladder. Often, stones form when the urine becomes concentrated, allowing minerals to crystallize and stick together.

Luckily, I was able to get it to come out on its own, because anyone who has had to get them sonically removed knows what an ordeal that can be.

And what possibly caused these reactions?

As previously stated, I decided to be union rep this school year. Well, the fun started in August, before the year even began, with some of my colleagues concerned about returning to in-class teaching. “Not much we can do about it” was my refrain, as the Ministry decided that since the top doctors said it was safe, dammit, it’s safe. “But how can I get out of it?” was the immediate retort.

Well, short of retiring, they could go on long-term disability, provided that their family/personal physician was willing to sign off on a diagnosis that would remove them from the classroom. “Will I get my full pay?” was the usual next question. To that, the answer was, “Sorta”, because the process is that you first burn through all of your sick days – that’s full pay – and then after that you go on SIP (Salary Indemnity), which is 60%. Given that the type of person asking already has few sick days available, it wouldn’t be long before they’d be healthy at home but 40% poorer than if they were working. That fact, naturally, led to some concerns on their part.

Of course, there were also the attempts to game the system by using their doctor to try and arrange a soft schedule for themselves. I have seen people request “no split classes”, “no split blocks”, “no Saturdays”, and – my personal favourite – “no evenings”, which is TOTALLY FUCKING DOABLE in an adult education division that has 35% registration in the after-school hours & weekend blocks. Of course, when this is unable to be accommodated, who is the one that gets the 15 emails and six phone calls a day?

Because I can’t allow people to hand pick their course schedule, or force the prinicpal to yield before the pedantic wishes of capricious employees, it naturally is my fault, and by extension the union’s, because “what are you doing, then?” When they hear my less-than-friendly answer that, of course, leads to a just-delightful attitude on their part, and a cold-shouldering that they think bothers me but in fact justifies my not interacting with them. Until the next time.

Of course, once the school year started, that’s when the real trouble began. Now, I think we can all appreciate that I know exactly how to get in trouble in any situation. But even I can find it hard to accomplish when there are but three simple rules:

1. Wear a mask in the school unless eating or drinking,
2. Follow the cleaning & health protocols, and
3. Don’t bad-mouth vaccines, the school board, or Ministry regulations in front of the students.

Seems simple, right?

I have been to some discipline hearings about people going off in class about various combinations of the above three points. Each time, they first deny they did it, and then can’t believe they were caught. “Is the principal spying on me?” is the usual question, with the answer always being, “No – the student emailed the Board” says I, having in his possession the diatribe the teacher said in class that the students typed out for HR to send me. At that point, red-handed but bald-faced, they then beg for help defending their actions so they can keep their job. At the hearing, the Board has their counsel read out the complaint, the offended school board regulation, and the list of student-submitted concerns. Then the teacher, after counselling with the union (including me), presents their case, after which the Board reps leave & we wait about a week to find out what they’ve decided. Long story & no identifying details short, the results were that no one got fired but a bunch of letters were written. (Fancy, letterheaded finger-wags that make the Board look like they did something.) None of these were grieved because, quite frankly, the folks got off pretty easily. I’ve seen lamer issues end up on the news. For a couple of them, a follow up of, “do you want them to investigate the last five years?” cut off any opposition to rolling over and accepting their wrist-slap.

So, where am I mentally? Can’t go anywhere – not much is open, and WineWife doesn’t want to mingle with general society. (I can’t say I blame her – have you met people?) In theory, I at least had football to look forward to, didn’t I? After all, Joe Biden finally opened the border November 8th.

What I hadn’t counted on, however, was the reticence of Justin Trudeau to drop the testing requirement on returning travellers. That meant to go to a game I had to provide proof of vaccination going down, but get a PCR test to drive back across the border – meaning that I would be paying $129USD to attend a game that cost $100USD for the ticket I already possessed. But the Seahawks took the US border opening as a sign to start charging me for games, so I could either eat the tickets, give them to BeerBrother, or donate them to a charity.

Fortunately, a combination of a road trip & a well-timed bye week meant the first game I missed was the Cardinals game in late-November. I had to eat the tickets because BeerBrother was out of town, and the charities aren’t taking tickets because they don’t want liability if someone gets sick. As I wallowed on my couch in self-pity anticipating the loss of all December, on December 1st, the return requirement was dropped, and I was able to head down for the Hawks-Niners game with a buddy that is a Niners fan. WineWife understood; after all, now we would be going to BeerBrother’s for Christmas, and there were games to go see then. “Have a good time,” she said. “I’ll join you next time.” Dare I hope everything was returning to normal?

It was a good game, a held-on Seahawks victory marred only by the fact that by halftime they ran out of all beers but the Lites. (No drafts available.) Ergo, the cider photo above. Still, it was a game, and despite how the Seahawks season was going I really looked forward to coming back down at Christmas.

It turned out normal lasted three weeks – especially once the Canadian government reintroduced the mandatory testing for crossing the border back home just before the Christmas break.  As a result, I only got to one game this year but was charged for a half-season. They rolled over the amounts for games held when the border was closed to US entry, and by December re-sale was no option because the Seahawks sucked so bad. Oh sure – I could have gone to the last two games of the season, if I wanted to pay Justin’s re-entry fee.

Anyway, I got through to Christmas without appearing on the news with the word “-spree” attached to my last name or story. A COVID Christmas meant little contact with others & a whole lot of time with a garage doubling as a giant beer fridge. At least the dogs got snow, which for the week it stuck around was pretty damn special,

But, just when it looked like things were approaching normal Omicron hit, and the schools… oh God, I just can’t. I’m going to give Maestro seizures if I keep going. I’ll save that for a future update.

In conclusion,

I miss you all terribly, and if all this ends amicably I’ll be back soon.