INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current project of putting together a deepfake video of Vladimir Putin getting violently raped in a prison shower by a gang of Boboesque clowns.  The PRODUCER is seated at his desk, with a pen in hand.  He taps absently on his desk with the pen, then sets it down and begins toying with his wedding ring.   

DJ 3000: MOST HUMAN BEHAVIOR IS VERY CONFUSING TO ME BUT I MUST ADMIT THIS IS A STRETCH EVEN FOR ME TO COMPREHEND.  I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT ST. PATRICK’S DAY CARDS WERE EVEN A THING.

PRODUCER: I had to order it special.

DJ 3000: I MEAN IF SHE DIDN’T RESPOND TO THE VALENTINE’S DAY CARD, OR THE CHRISTMAS CARD, OR THE THANKSGIVING CARD…

PRODUCER: Yeah but St. Patrick’s day was kind of a special day for us.

DJ 3000: YOUR FIRST DATE?

PRODUCER: Huh? Oh, no, our first date was a few days after we met on New Year’s Eve.  St. Patrick’s Day was the first time we got blackout drunk together.

DJ 3000: HUH.

PRODUCER: So I thought maybe this would remind her of the better times.

DJ 3000: DON’T YOU THINK MAYBE IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON?

PRODUCER: Until the paperwork is signed, I’m not giving up hope.

DJ 3000: BUT YOU’RE THE ONE REFUSING TO SIGN IT.

PRODUCER: Yes, well, what are they going to do, sue me?

DJ 3000: ABOUT THAT…

PRODUCER: Oh for the love of…please don’t tell me you have more bad news.

DJ 3000: HER ATTORNEY LEFT ANOTHER MESSAGE.  HE SAYS IF YOU DON’T SIGN BY FRIDAY, THEY’LL HAVE TO POSTPONE THE CEREMONY.  AND IF THAT’S THE CASE, THEY’LL UP THEIR ALIMONY DEMANDS TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE DEPOSITS THAT ARE ABOUT TO GO UP IN SMOKE.

PRODUCER: Fucking hell.

DJ 3000: IT’S TIME TO LET HER GO, MAN.

PRODUCER: I really thought my marriage would survive the pandemic.

DJ 3000: YOU ONLY THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU BARRICATED YOURSELF INSIDE THE STUDIO AND DIDN’T TALK TO ANYONE OTHER THAN REQUEST LINE CALLERS FOR EIGHTEEN MONTHS.  I CAN’T IMAGINE WHY YOU THOUGHT ANYTHING WOULD BE THE SAME WHEN YOU FINALLY RETURNED HOME.

PRODUCER: [sighs]  All right.  Print ’em out.

DJ 3000: IT’S OKAY YOU CAN JUST DO IT VIA E-SIGN.

The PRODUCER moves over to DJ 3000’s main console.

DJ 3000: CLICK HERE.

The PRODUCER taps the touchscreen.

DJ 3000: …AND HERE.

The PRODUCER taps the touchscreen again.

DJ 3000: …AND FINALLY HERE.

PRODUCER: Hey, wait, this says I’m agreeing not to do anything to disrupt the wedding ceremony.

DJ 3000: YES IT’S NOT A STANDARD CLAUSE BUT THEY INSISTED UPON IT.

PRODUCER: Ha!  Doesn’t say anything about the reception, though! Do me a favor, old buddy? Get a hold of Jimmy and the Animal.  I’m gonna need to borrow their mobile rig.  And queue up the “our songs” playlist.  It’s time to take Request Line on the road!

Today’s theme is: Weddings.  We’re looking for songs that deal with the events themselves, but songs about making a lifetime commitment to someone are good too.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYb3r9UnK” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Last weeks’ puzzle song was “Sometimes” by James.  This week’s is pretty easy the over/under on how many songs before it’s requested is 4.