Eight bots remain. Some standbys, some surprises. The main surprises would be who’s out, actually. With Tombstone and End Game both out of the tournament, and Paul Ventimiglia still holding out on behalf of better compensation for builders, we will have a first-time champion. So, let’s get to the fights.

4. SawBlaze vs. 21. Riptide
SawBlaze: R32, JD 3-0 vs. 29. HiJinx; R16, JD 3-0 vs. 20. P1
Riptide: R32, KO 1:09 vs. 12. Shatter!; R16, KO 1:09 vs. 5. Uppercut

Well, Riptide screwed us out of the SawBlaze-Uppercut rematch, but that’s okay. They’ve been the surprise of the tournament, as the rookie team looked fairly inconsistent in their three fights but looked extremely strong in their two wins, plus the KOs over a pair of upper seeds.

Meanwhile, apart from End Game, who’s out, has any bot been more dominant this year than SawBlaze? If SawBlaze scoops you up, prepare for a long, slow death. Just ask Minotaur, MadCatter, HiJinx, or P1. Out of the eight bots left, the hammer saw has to be the favorite.

The two bots moved towards the middle of the arena, but SawBlaze didn’t rush Riptide, with Jamison Go instead trying to flank the rookie eggbeater. Riptide was able to set enough to meet SawBlaze face to face, but went right over the forks and did a perfect one and a half. Which is a problem considering that meant Riptide was now on its back and SawBlaze could attempt to scoop and saw. Riptide kept spinning though, which was at least enough to repel SawBlaze’s forks from getting that full scoop and the carnage that would inevitably soon, and Riptide hit a corner the right way to pop back over, even giving SawBlaze a small pop as it managed to escape the corner, however briefly.

I say “however briefly” because SawBlaze returned with grab and hit towards the wheels, though no idea if they got anything. Riptide looked fine and managed to grind away at SawBlaze, sending both bots slightly recoiling, before charging SawBlaze again and soaring skyward, bouncing, bouncing, on its back, then pinned on its side against the wall thanks to SawBlaze.

Riptide called to SawBlaze “Get us off!” and maybe that works in the prelims. That’s not gonna work in the quarterfinals.

SawBlaze breaks through its personal wall and makes the semifinals for the first time ever. For the rookies Riptide, they managed to Break32, 16, and 8 (as spotted as their logo changed). Break4’ll have to wait for next year.

11. Tantrum vs. 14. Cobalt
Tantrum: R32, JD 3-0 vs. 22. Gigabyte; R16, KO, 2:59 vs. 6. Rotator
Cobalt: R32, KO 1:33 vs. 19. Yeti; R16, JD, 2-1 vs. 3. Whiplash

Yes, Tantrum’s the upper seed for this fight, despite everything we’ve seen about Cobalt this year thanks to the eternal footage the Ghost Raptor fight will give it. Honestly, Tantrum’s had a little bit of insane luck this year, from getting helped off the rails in the Lucky fight, to a close decision over Gigabyte, to what would have been a close decision against Rotator if not for a favorable bounce to get my pick for the final over and out. (Yeah, End Game over Rotator, about that…)

But if any robot not named End Game, Rotator, or SawBlaze would get my pick for the Nut, it would be Cobalt. Which did ridiculous enough stuff even pre-pandemic, though losing because of its wedge. I mean, that DUCK! fight. It didn’t even break its weapon, it just got caught in the floor. Would that count as the first-ever Triple Crown for Team Carbide? Only halfsies, as Robotic Death Company is running the bot.

Tantrum started by doing the ol’ circle-the-opponent move. It worked well enough that Cobalt chased and Tantrum oléd, which gave enough purchase for Tantrum to get just to the side of Cobalt’s forks and attack, pushing the lethal vert back into the wall and bending the entire right side of forks in. Tantrum continued to press its now advantage, working on Cobalt’s forks. And Cobalt more than any other of the 4WD verts needs the ground advantage—it’s weapon is too high and too far back otherwise.

Tantrum had to let Cobalt go and continued to do the zoomies around Cobalt, until Cobalt went right into the speeding Tantrum and right over the speeding Tantrum. Sure, as Kenny Florian mentioned, Cobalt has one-shot power, but as long as Tantrum kept the front to Cobalt they would have the ground advantage as the puncher could pick and pop, eventually pushing Cobalt to the corner, getting to the underbelly, grinding away.

With a small retreat and then a push back Cobalt ran right on top of the disk, went up, its weapon hit the top of the wall, and pushed itself out of the arena. Fight over.

Tantrum wins by KO and for the second year in a row, is back in the semifinals. Props to Tantrum’s new driver, Dillon Carey. That was a fantastic drive to outduel Matt Maxham. Now let’s see how little sister does!

7. Blip vs. 31. Hydra
Blip: R32, KO 2:54 vs. 26. Valkyrie; R16, KO 1:02 vs. 10. Jackpot
Hydra: 31 PI, KO 2:09 vs. Defender; R32, KO 2:04 vs. 2. Ribbot; R16, JD 3-0 vs. 18. Black Dragon

Well, we wanted it, and now we got it. The title of King of the Flippers is at play. On one side, the incumbent, which had a tough road in the regular season, never actually being at full power and being incredibly unlucky. On the other, the cutest little thing that will flip you ten feet high. Put your tray tables up for this one, folks.

Also, should Blip win, we could get a very interesting semifinal. The same team fight we were waiting for between Hydra and Fusion could happen… between Tantrum and Blip. Yeah, we didn’t see that coming, now did we?

Low ground and placement was going to be critical of course, and with that, Blip and its piano key wedgelets took the center of the arena. But Hydra seemed like it had low ground with its inner forks, and it paid off as Hydra got the first flip, banging Blip off the glass. Blip tried to self-right, but right onto a flipping Hydra which sent it tumbling a second time. And might have offset things enough, because Blip was having self-righting troubles, definitely not a good sign, as Hydra waited and tried to see what else it could do.

What it could do, as Blip flailed both around and over it, was catch Blip and put her on the Upper Deck, with the right side on top of the rails and the left side on the floor. Blip could use its flipper several times to get off the wall but it posed a second problem. The right wheels were not on the floor so it couldn’t drive, and the magnets on Blip’s underside were actually harming it from getting traction on the metal railing. So as a result, as much as Blip struggled, the magnets proved to be its undoing as it was counted out trying to struggle off the Upper Deck.

Hydra wins by KO, keeps its spot as Flipper King, and moves on to fight the older Seems Reasonable bot, Tantrum, in the semis.

16. Minotaur vs. 24. Witch Doctor
Minotaur: R32, JD 3-0 vs. 17. Bloodsport; R16, JD 3-0 vs. 1. End Game
Witch Doctor: R32, KO 0:53 vs. Alt. Mammoth; R16, KO 1:00 vs. 8. Copperhead

Out of the five bots now remaining, these are the only two to have made it to a finals, both losing to Bite Force in Seasons 3 and 4, respectively. They’ve fought once before in a round of 16 match in Season 3, which I just said was Minotaur’s finals run, so no points on who won that fight.

Witch Doctor, knowing that just like in the Copperhead fight, they wanted to avoid head-on, weapon-on-weapon collisions, so Mike Gellatly went and did the same run around trick that Dillon Carey did against Cobalt. Unfortunately Daniel Freitas gave no such fucks and the bull took off a piece of Witch Doctor’s front left corner before that exact thing, a weapon to weapon hit. It sent Witch Doctor right into the conveniently placed rail of the Upper Deck, while flipping Minotaur over. Witch Doctor could get another nibble or two in, but it got Minotaur back upright.

After Witch Doctor came in for another nibble before backing away, Witch Doctor came forward again, got the same weapon to weapon hit that they specifically did not want, and went right up the drum to go 8 or 9 feet in the air, weapon first into the ground. Which impressively did not break, so that’s an improvement of the AR500 over the S7, as seen last year vs. Hydra. But Witch Doctor was able to quickly self-right before Minotaur came back again, at the cost of getting hit right in the left side, which put Witch Doctor in the corner where Minotaur could pin it.

Minotaur had to let Witch Doctor go, long enough for Witch Doctor to once again charge and once again go right up Minotaur and this time get a solid 10 feet of air. The two bots continued to come after each other though it seemed like Minotaur was winning each exchange, until Daniel Freitas oversteered and flipped Minotaur over. In an attempt to self-right, Minotaur took itself to the screws, and as it got itself stuck, Witch Doctor was happy to give a couple of free shots and put the Brazilian bot onto the deck proper.

Where all of a sudden, it looked like Minotaur was having steering problems. It spun itself, kind of, off the Upper Deck, as Witch Doctor had a glancing blow which redirected it into the wall. Minotaur came down from the Deck, while one of its wheels also came down from the Deck. Not attached to Minotaur.

This would be a perfect time for Minotaur to return the favor and deliver some free punishment to take Witch Doctor to the Upper Deck, but at it was spinning around, a stop was called for an unstick.

Hoo boy. Here we go.

So, unsticks themselves are controversial. Oftentimes, the unsticking gets cut, but, for instance, Glitch wasn’t given an unstick against Ghost Raptor, but Ghost Raptor could have gotten a free hit. Then there’s the whole Cobalt vs. Whiplash ordeal. So there’s definitely consistency that needs to be sorted out.

I’m of the opinion that unsticks should be allowed, but not if the robot did it to themselves, driving themselves in. So, for instance, I would have had Cobalt/Whiplash as a double KO because Cobalt was high-centered (which is considered a hazard and not eligible for an unstick, see robots getting caught in the killsaws) and Whiplash drove itself into the wall. (Which, due to Cobalt being deemed unsafe to unstick, is what actually happened.) In this case, it’s close because Witch Doctor ricocheted off its powered attack into the wall. But that’s a redirection, so I’d allow the unstick. There’s definitely some cutting room floor involved.

But that is controversy 1: What is an unstick? What warrants an unstick? How can BattleBots be more comprehensive and consistent about these two questions? If this didn’t warrant an unstick, would this have been a KO for Minotaur?

Let’s go to the rulebook by the way:

7.5.12, Stuck Robots:
…A Robot… will be considered to be Stuck in the following situations.
-a. A Robot is jammed or otherwise hung-up on a non-movable part of the Arena environment, such that is effectively non-Responsive. This includes the surrounding spike strip of the Upper Deck.

Well, that was where Witch Doctor got stuck. According to 7.5.13, this is also after 20 seconds of being unable to unfree itself. I have no idea how long Witch Doctor actually was stuck before the timeout was called, because editing, but if Minotaur hadn’t been able to hit it in those 20 seconds (or more likely 15ish because Minotaur had to finish coming down from the Deck), then an unstick would definitely be reasonable. However, after sleuthing to determine the time of the unstick, it was called after… 10 seconds.

Now, that’s not Witch Doctor’s fault, but that is on BattleBots. To be honest, it probably should be 10-15 seconds for an unstick, but what do I know?

So, Trey Roski’s crowbar unstuck Witch Doctor and gave the now one-wheeled Minotaur a new lease on life as well. The next 90 seconds were their own level of confusion as well, as Witch Doctor believed that a count-out was imminent on the one-wheeled Minotaur, and were told by the referee that yes, a count-out was imminent, while the count-out never came, due to arguments between RioBotz and the referee.

So it did go to the judges. But how do you judge this fight?

Damage: Well, Minotaur losing a wheel did more than Witch Doctor losing bits of armor, and though they didn’t get counted out, they couldn’t really do anything from then on. Witch Doctor definitely wins damage, either 3-2 or 4-1. It’s close, I’d go 3-2.
Aggression: Minotaur charged more. I go 2-1 Minotaur.
Control: It’s a bit of a coin flip, since I think it was fairly even, but Minotaur in the Upper Deck and its adventures give me 2-1 Witch Doctor.

Which is actually what Derek Young and Jason Bardis had on their cards. (Lisa Winter had 4-1, 1-2, 1-2.) Either way, Witch Doctor wins by unanimous decision and moves onto the semis for a Round 3 with SawBlaze.

And then according to people who were there including onetime bracket sniper and briefly friend of the program Personizzle, people got really mad and started badmouthing shit to Lisa Winter and to Andrea Gellatly. Gee, I wonder why, he said sarcastically. Can’t be a common thread or anything. Way to show one’s whole ass, people who were at the taping. There were kids around. Come the fuck on.

Anyway, onto the semis.

SEMIFINAL
11. Tantrum vs. 31. Hydra

Well, we didn’t get the same team battle, so here’s Round 2 of Hydra vs. Seems Reasonable Robotics. Obviously the first part of the multi-stage battle went well for Hydra.

It started even better when Hydra didn’t get itself stuck on the floor at the beginning of the fight, but Tantrum did, so Hydra could get a first flip in. Tantrum self-righted as Hydra hit a killsaw slot now (as is tradition), and tried to circle around back, feinting and getting misfires, but not capitalizing on the brief opportunities and instead getting another flip from Hydra. Tantrum continued to zig and zag but Hydra came in for a two-flip combo (3 and 4) before charging unfazed to no avail (5).

Tantrum finally had a moment to get under and deliver a shot to the underside and deal sparks, but Hydra responded (6). Tantrum had a chance but hesitated and paid for it (7).

Finally Tantrum got under and was aiming for the flipper but couldn’t quite get it, even after pushing Hydra to the corner. It was just too low at the time, as Tantrum let Hydra out of the corner before resuming the attack (8).

However, the flipper arm stayed up and though Tantrum went right up the wedge they could finally get a couple hits on the flipper arm, while pushing Hydra back. Well, it was a start (though also 9). But Hydra once again couldn’t get the flipper all the way down and Tantrum could finally hit it, breaking the arm.

Tantrum’s weapon slowed in the last few seconds, and Chris Rose noted smoke, whether of the belt variety or others. It did lead to Tantrum going up the wedge and ending up on the screws (because 10).

All right, to the judges it goes.

Damage: The flipper getting clipped slightly dented effectiveness, but Tantrum’s spinner may have died near the end. Chris Rose noted the smoke and it did stop spinning. Due to that, I go 3-2 Hydra.
Aggression: Circling around does not aggression make. Aggression was fairly even, but I think I go 2-1 Hydra for the frequency of flips. Tantrum came forward a few times but by and large I go Hydra with it.
Control: 2-1 Hydra.

So I have Hydra, 7-4, seems simple enough.

This was not the case. It was actually a split decision, with Jason Bardis and Derek Young going for…

Tantrum, moving to the final.

Yup, there’s your cards. This leads to controversy Part 2, “What is aggression?” No idea. I mean, I think Hydra won aggression. Yes, I realize I have built a total of zero robots and watch robot fights at the last possible second I can to write a column at, if lucky, 2 AM the day it’s due. I also realize the extent of my RC driving has been the RC Blendo and Dr. Inferno, Jr. I received one Christmas, and about 30 seconds of driving Adam Wrigley’s mecanum test bot which is basically just a several pound wedge with mecanum wheels.

Regardless, somehow, with shonen protagonist levels of pulling it out somehow, Tantrum has made the final. Happy for Seems Reasonable Robotics, with two bots pushing the limits of technology in both Tantrum and Blip, but I feel bad for Jake Ewert and Team Whyachi. As crazy as that sounds.

Jake Ewert said in his post-fight video that they might not bring Hydra next year, because the arena and the scoring is heavily anti-not a vert. Which is the opposite of what the Upper Deck should have done, incidentally.

Tantrum will fight for the Giant Nut against…

SEMIFINAL
4. SawBlaze vs. 24. Witch Doctor

Round 3, fight!

For the third year in a row, one’s season will end by the other’s hand. In Season 4, Witch Doctor beat SawBlaze in the quarters en route to a finals run. In Season 5, SawBlaze beat Witch Doctor in the round of 16. Now this year, the pair square back off, but this time, winner’s going to the finals.

So, since this time it’s Witch Doctor’s turn to go back to the drawing board, they did, with a new weapon, a single-toothed single disk, weighing 45 lbs.. But would it work to break through the domination that has been SawBlaze this year?

Witch Doctor turned to the side as SawBlaze clipped a seam in the floor, but nearly scooped up Witch Doctor shortly after. SawBlaze chased but Witch Doctor was just quick enough to turn and catch SawBlaze’s left wheel, tipping it over. Witch Doctor pursued while SawBlaze tried to self-right, clipped the same wheel, and lopped it off, while also getting SawBlaze to take a pulverizer shot.

Somehow, SawBlaze was semi-mobile after this immediate flurry, or it was Witch Doctor continuing its flurry to avoid any reprise of the quarterfinals. Jamison Go did what he could to keep SawBlaze facing Witch Doctor, but the vert could get around and damage the right wheel as well before pushing SawBlaze to flip through the air some more and catch the tank a la Uppercut. Though no cool explosion, the much worse slow immolation. There, are you happy now about engaging your opponent?

Witch Doctor wins Round 3 and punches her ticket to the final.

2021 BATTLEBOTS CHAMPIONSHIP (even if the fights aired in 2022)
11. Tantrum vs. 24. Witch Doctor
Tantrum: 6-0
Witch Doctor: 6-1

Just like we drew it up when the bracket got released! First off, some news and notes:

-Both these bots join Tombstone and Bite Force as the third bot to accomplish a feat. For Tantrum, they’re the third robot to make the semifinals or better in two consecutive years. (Tombstone: Seasons 1-2; Bite Force: Seasons 3-4). For Witch Doctor, they become the third robot to make the championship multiple times, and, depending on whether you consider clamper Bite Force and vert Bite Force the same robot or two different robots, either the only or the second robot to make the championship Grover Cleveland-style, in nonconsecutive years. It’s 2 finals appearances in 3 years, but can the Gellatlys cash in this time?

-Regardless of the winner, it will be the first time the champion is captained or co-captained by a woman, either Ginger Schmidt as co-captain for Tantrum or Andrea Gellatly as captain of Witch Doctor.

Faruq Tauheed with the intros,

“This mistress of the dark arts concocted a potion as she rolled through the tournament and caused a commotion. The dark witch took pieces as she reduced victims to husk. She started with a broth brewed from Mammoth tusk. She tasted and thought “Not bad but it needs more bite”, so she stole Copperhead’s venom after she took his life. Now the cauldron was bubbling with concoctions bizarre. So she spiced it up right with some horn of Minotaur, and needed a little more heat to truly amaze, so she cooked it over the flaming corpse of SawBlaze. The only thing missing is a little more meat. Perhaps the fingers of Tantrum, yes, that would be sweet. Then she’ll drink it and transform, magic like you’ve never seen, as the wicked Witch Doctor becomes the BattleBots queen. It’s WITCH DOCTOR!”

“This team’s been humble in victory and they’ve never been conceited. But they’ve had plenty of practice since they haven’t been defeated. It’s one thing to prepare for the title to face the final boss, but they’re the only bot here who has gone the entire distance without a loss. They beat Malice in their first fight, sent Bunny running through the field. Then smashed a mirror over Lucky’s head and kept them even keeled. Next, they took on Gigabyte, a legendary bot, took that giant hockey puck and bounced it all across the Box. They’ve made Rotator do a 360 and walked right out the door. Then dominated Cobalt and moved into the Top 4. Ran their win streak to six against Hydra, then they’re walking with a strut as they get ready to use those tiny hands to hoist the Giant Nut. Give it up for TANTRUM!”

Hey, for the final you’ve gotta save the best for last. I’m excited for the bounty walk-outs for the legendary bot. We assume Witch Doctor will be one as it defended the bounty, as did Tombstone.

Witch Doctor kept the single-toothed disk on, by the way. Will it out-punch Tantrum?

Well, the bots started out by circling each other, as Dillon Carey and Mike Gellatly looked for an opening. When the two bots came forward Witch Doctor went right over Tantrum. And from that one hit to the underside Witch Doctor was on skates, at best. Something got pushed up or bent up enough that Witch Doctor was skidding around, as Tantrum got underneath a second time. And, after seeing that Witch Doctor still passed for mobility a third, and a fourth. Witch Doctor was crabwalking in a general direction, so Tantrum could get under at will after that first hit.

A push to the Upper Deck rails flipped Witch Doctor over, where you could see the damage to the left side on Witch Doctor, as Tantrum kept pushing Witch Doctor around. The puncher wasn’t really spinning much anymore, but they could pin and jab until the ref called for proper movement from Witch Doctor, which couldn’t go forward, and was too close to the wall to do it all in reverse.

Your champion, by KO, however controversial it may be, is… TANTRUM!

---

That’s incredible. Tantrum’s claim to fame before last year was getting its fist embedded in a pipe in the BattleBox thanks to Tombstone (a trophy that Ray Billings keeps with his Giant Nut), and now the little bot’s gone and won the Giant Nut. Talk about a glow-up, from spring-loaded flipper that had a spatula in its first fight (against Battle Royale With Cheese), to taking on Tombstone, to changing the whole configuration thanks to Boxing Champion’s run at King of Bots, to this. Congratulations to Alex Grant, Ginger Schmidt, Aren Hill, and the rest of Seems Reasonable Robotics for the accomplishment.

(Also a Urinating Tree-style “Conglaturations” to Aren for leaving Tantrum in Alex and Ginger’s hands while he worked on Blip… and they win the Giant Nut. It’s a win for the shop, and he is the leader, but… whoops.)

Other notes… Yeti will not be in Bounty Hunters due to the damage from the Cobalt fight, and big news (courtesy of Skorpios’s watch party video), Justin Billings (Ray’s son) will be driving Tombstone next year.

As for the Beaties… let’s wait and see when Bounty Hunters is. If it’s coming up shortly, then I’ll put it up after Bounty Hunters. If we have to wait a few weeks for the news, then I better get writing.

As for me during the hiatus, I still have the House of Pain 2021 Hot Sauce Expo (from October), MarbleCon (from December), and buying things to send to Dok and CognacChicoCarl (from April… I promise it will be done eventually.) Oh, and the 2022 Banner Tournament, except site polls have been phased out for the sake of reliability, so I should look around for good outside sites! (I will take recommendations, provided they are free.) So there will be more from me. (Hey, did last year’s Banner Tournament break the site? Shit.) And maybe, this summer, the 2022 Marble League Rolldown! Much has happened in the last two years, including recapping a memorable 2021 Marble League.

Now if you excuse me, I’m going to make like Samuel L. Jackson and go the fuck to sleep.