Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

---

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better i[n bed].
Maya Angelou

Think that this is good advice, even without the bedroom stuff.

---

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

---

Don T

---

That Potty Train Me Elmo thing has me mesmerized. I am high.
Gumbygirl

Sharkbait

---

Cawthorn has conceded defeat. He’s young and motivated, I’m sure he’ll end up on his feet.
Redshirt

---

Decilitre saw the Elmo up top and can’t stop laughing.
litre_cola

My work here is done then
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

---

My house, after the dog took a face full of skunk tonight:

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

I had forgotten how painful bruised ribs are. Athletes on IR for this shit have my renewed respect. Running is OK, but I fear sneezing.
2Pack

---

Does anyone out there know how the reincarnation thing is supposed to work? Like, is it instantaneous like someone dies and then gets put back into the next baby born?

Or do you have to wait a certain amount of time?

Like 2 years?

Asking for a soon-to-be prince.
ballsofsteelandfury

Uh oh…
WCS

---

I’m not sure what tWBS would consider to be his finest moment:

1) Getting the Australian government to shut down a Nazi he may or may not have banged.
B) Banging a pot shop clerk named Asia that was black and half his age.
%) Getting King Hippo out of his house and into a strip club after he lost a bet with me.
♡) Getting into an altercation with a cowboy in a Vegas restroom.

Where are the polls when we need them?
[note that the answer is all of the above]
ballsofsteelandfury

---

I just wish that it had been Madison Cawthorn who died two years ago, and today we were having a blast roasting tWBS for having lost his election.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This comment deserves a standing ovation
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

THIS BATTLE OF ALBERTA, I CALL IT A DALLAS STRIP CLUB, BECAUSE A BUNCH OF OIL MEN ARE GETTING LIT UP
Dunstan

---

Today made it to a full calendar year without smoking a cigarette, not even a puff. That first stroke better not come before ’25.
[this is an amazing milestone, congrats]
Don T

---

I thought I couldn’t love Punk more. He comes out in an “Abortion Rights are Human Rights” shirt. Not only do I believe in abortion rights, I believe they should be retroactive. I have a list.

---

Prairie Wino and Bro in law are in to a Barossa Valley Shiraz. So apparently he named me correct. Work is going to be awful tomorrow.
litre_cola

Wait you aren’t prairie wino? I misread that comment from bc dick then.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

He is
ballsofsteelandfury

Oh. I’m an idiot
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a tremendous idiot.
Gumbygirl

---

There’s a guy at work that was once very conservative so he bought into the ‘freedom!/I’m not a sheeple!’ bullshit narrative. When the vaccine arrived he was of course very sceptical but I found an angle that worked. I talked about obligations that individuals have that enable society to function properly. I linked taking the vaccine and how easy it is and compared that to the act of voting-both are so easy to do and contribute to the greater good. It has tilted his thinking and now he doesn’t immediately latch on to the dumb talking points that are out there.

/yeah I’m a hero, so what?
scotchnaut

---

Nah. I’m done. These right wing fucks just criminalized abortion, then immediately pivoted and voted against helping the FDA sort out the baby formula crisis. How in fuck do they think all these babies, which they just told women who are suffering unwanted pregnancies to just “put up for adoption”, are supposed to get fed? I ain’t talking to any of these fucks, Jimson. They belong in reeducation camps, sentenced to hard labor, or lobotomized. Over 70 million of these cocksuckers watched Trump for four years and said, “GIMME FOUR MORE YEARS OF THAT”. Too stupid to breathe my air. I DO want their guns. I DO want the US Constitution rewritten. And I DO want Fox News and their ilk banned from the airwaves. And I DEFINITELY want Fox News taken off every public television screen in the United States military. And I DO want the public executions of their talking heads. And I’m not ashamed of ANY of those opinions. Forty five years of this fascist evangelical horseshit. But none of that will happen. Because we’re too stupid to see that these solutions are our only chance at redemption. But if a bone could be thrown my way, I’d love at the very least to see Fox, OAN, Newsmax etc. deprogrammed from basic cable packages. You want it? Fine. You can add it to YOUR package and let them set the price. But every single cable subscriber being forced to stuff money in Rupert Murdoch’s pocket because we want to watch sports at home is bullshit. Weed needs to be legalized federally, and the churches and billionaires need to be SEVERELY taxed. I read the Atlantic article hippo linked to, and I saw that cocksucking preacher in TN shrieking about Democrats being demons who should get out of his “church”. And warning that we hadn’t seen a REAL insurrection yet. Fuck that. Time for them to get taxed. They are nothing more than political organizations now. And shitty ones at that. Fuck these people. They’ve won quite enough. It’s time for the pendulum to rocket back the other way and take these right wingers out like a fucking scythe.
Fronkenshteen

---

Last funny;

Elon Musk is really doing an incredible job educating the public about how capitalists end up aligning with fascists to maintain their wealth and limit the power of the working classes.
rockingdog

---

All these ads for crypto make it incredibly clear that crypto is in the end stages of its bubble.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

Let’s try Moose-summoning attempt #2. Chicks with guns!!
King Hippo

“You know, Trump wasn’t all bad when you think about it.”

(looks around)

That’s my best effort. I’ll be outside dry heaving for saying that.
Redshirt

---

I CALL SWITZERLAND “MY ’89 HONDA CIVIC” BECAUSE THEY’RE ALWAYS STUCK IN NEUTRAL.
scotchnaut

---

Sunderland ’til I die!

Or at least until they get relegated from the C’ship next season.

Whichever.
Horatio Cornblower

Perhaps that sweet old cafeteria lady can get a 50 pence/hr raise now!
King Hippo

---

LOL

It’s wild that Elon Musk could have just kinda…been quietly rich AF and enjoyed his life. Instead every new word out of his mouth thoroughly disproves the myth of his brilliance.
rockingdog

---

That was, BY FAR, the best banana cream pie I’ve had in my entire life. [ yeah right’s bandana cream pie]

The crust was unreal. It was crispy and buttery and delicious. The filling was perfect. The cold custard worked perfectly with the crust and the sliced bananas. The secret ingredient of cinnamon added an extra dimension I didn’t know it needed and now I can’t picture a pie without it.

Amazingly good. I wolfed my slice down in 5 seconds.
ballsofsteelandfury

---

I can attest that it was goddamned delicious and I’m willing to testify to that in court.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RTD: [testifies in court about banana cream pie]

Judge: “Sir, who are you and how is this relevant to this DUI case?”

RTD: [getting dragged out by bailiffs] “I made a promise-and it was very rich and creamy! The pie, not the promise.”
scotchnaut

---

Oh, men. MEN. There was a feasting today. (Wait, I somehow morphed from Rex Ryan to Jason Garrett. Ugh.)

Anyway, spent the afternoon grilling ribeye steaks, al pastor shrimp, and flounder, making some corn tortillas, salsa verde, and pickled red onions, and slinging some mint juleps and whiskey smashes. Oh, and grilled some squash, too, which got the most comments — people underestimate how good a simple grilled veggie can be.

Everyone’s gone now and the leftovers are put away, so nothing for it but to linger on the patio with a cigar and the rest of this bottle of red wine. Might have to do this again for the long weekend in seven days.
Dunstan

---

Update: we have no confidence in this flight leaving any time soon so we’re renting a car to drive back to dc
BrettFavresColonoscopy

They let you off the plane?
ballsofsteelandfury

THIS GUY BFC I CALL HIM D.B. COOPER CAUSE HE SURPRISED EVERYBODY BY GETTING OFF THE PLANE BEFORE IT ARRIVED AT ITS FINAL DESTINATION.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

Newcastle Barcodes somehow derping their way to eleventh is actually kind of remarkable.

Now, to finish the PGA, eat Stromboli, and wait for Battle of Alberta Part III: THE Edoumoutouniung and Bob’s Burgers.

First actual day off in six week, bitches!

I’m also six months sober tomorrow [ that’s fucking awesome], so I bequeath my liquor rations to the rest of yinz . I’ll have another cup of coffee
WCS

---

Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

NOTE banner image from here