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Memorial Day Carpentering

King Hippo

/

,

We’ve only just beguuuunnnn….

Thoughts?  I have a few.

  1. Robins Hood came good (PHRASING), and will join the Premiership.  Next season might be the strongest the Prem has ever been.  Everyone that went down was garbage, everyone that came up has some real quality.
  2. Sad Wrexham Saturday made me google the start date for the FX docu-series.  It starts 24 August.  SIGH.  Nothing will break us free from the boredom void.
  3. Oh my cats, I could read all the Redshite angst/whinging all day long.  But I have Footy Manager to shoot into my veins.
  4. Speaking of that, there are few things in this life MOAR satisfying than a properly structured pre-season, where the roster seems to magically balance itself.  Good offers for players on the outs, every targeted “wonderkid” is eager to join.
  5. Yes, it has been a very, VERY long time since I have had sexual relations.  Unless we get legal courtesan-ship and/or fuck robots before I die (5% odds on each, methinks), it’s deffo a streak that will continue ad infinitum.  Just like Bernard Gilkey’s legendary career.
  6. Starting a new booky-book today, Three Day Road by Joseph Boyden.  Scotchy hasn’t made a bad recommendation yet, and I expect the streak to continue.
  7. Yes, baseball can still get fucked.  Even on a day like today, I won’t watch a single pitch.
  8. But yes, I’mma still post Foghorn Leghorn Fredbird.  Because I am kind of a dick, see.

What are you doing with your Monday off?  Do tell.

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Redshirt

Watching the Super Bowl LVI Highlight episode is painful, but humorous.

(4th Quarter – 2:12)
Joe Burrow: “Hi, I’m Joe. Nice to meet you.”
Von Miller/Aaron Donald: “We’re gonna end this man’s whole season.”

0
King Hippo

Daily nap was nice. I am going to need 25 hours a sleep of the day by the time I reach 60.

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Gumbygirl

When the dolphins start turning on us, the end is near!

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Redshirt

Burglars steal $2 million tabernacle from Catholic church in Brooklyn – ABC News (go.com)

Pastor: “God, how could you let this happen?”
God: “Millions of my children starve every day and you’re worried about a gold picture on the wall?! You’re lucky I didn’t open the door for them!”

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WCS

Meanwhile, at Joel Olsteen’s mega-mansion:
comment image

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Brick Meathook

As most of you know, I fly high speed reconnaissance aircraft for the CIA in my spare time. Yesterday I made a few passes over Russian positions in eastern Ukraine. I even went over the Russian border; nothing they can do about it. They shot a few missiles but I easily escaped them (the shaking you see is missiles harmlessly exploding behind me). I can’t show you the recon footage but I took this with my iPhone 12 out the side window. The glass was over 800°F due to air friction:

https://vimeo.com/715266627

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
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Redshirt

The pool is open. The grass is mowed. Rumors of my death are only slightly exaggerated.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

The pool is mowed and the grass is open. And yes I’m dead
-Trent Green, with standing in the drive thru lane of the bank

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I had to leave a neighbor’s low country boil to go to the airport. This must be how Don Jr feels when he isn’t allowed to kill a caged elephant.

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yeah right

Guess I’m going to have lunch with my estranged brother. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since before the pandemic.

He turned into one of “Them” and I saw no reason to communicate. Taj kind of brokered a sit down and I guess we can find common ground for an hour or so.

As long as nobody brings up politics or religion we should be fine.

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WCS

Well.. good luck.

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Gumbygirl

I text mine only. Proximity would be bad. There’s a reason I don’t live by my family. Even the politically compatible ones are annoying as fuck. I’m sure they say the same about me, but I don’t care. I prefer to choose my own tribe.

4
yeah right

I blocked his number so we’ve had zero contact. I think I’ll be fine. Plus we’re going to Shakey’s for bunch of lunch!

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Gumbygirl

You can’t be mad at Shakey’s!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good luck and I hope it goes well but also…you have every right to choose to speak to/see him or not. You may not be able to choose your relatives, but you can choose which assholes you want to spend energy on.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

It’s been at least 5 years since I’ve talked to my brother and don’t have a way to contact him without asking my parents for his info. Think he lives in the ‘Peg now. Or maybe NB somewhere.
Hes not my kind of people. Always making up shit, and makes everything about him. Kinda done with that BS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Happy Trent Green Day, everybody!

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King Hippo

We should all stand by the microwave in a puddle of our own urine. At least for a minute or two.

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Redshirt

I’ve already spent three hours doing that. Does that count, or do I need to do it again for a minute or two?

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WCS

“Who’s that?”

— Trent Green, filling his washing machine with grass clippings

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King Hippo

Sweet, Norway’s KMFDM is in action!! TO TEH GAMBLOR

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2Pack

I am packing for a bidnezz trip to Rome tomorrow. Last couple years this annual gig for a conference has been fairly pleasant, with Covid-19 induced, half of China not mobbing the place and all. I suspect that things will be back to its tourists moss pit normalcy. Well Tally ho, I’m goin in.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Good luck! We’re all counting on you!

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2Pack

Since bringing home bacon is not practical, I’ll bring home some prosciutto crudo.

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Brick Meathook

As most of you know, I do a lot of test flying in my spare time, mostly for NASA but sometimes for the Air Force. Yesterday I was up in the XF-42A Phase II fighter, checking out the anti-personnel incinerator beam. This can be used against infantry but can also help solve the homeless encampment problem. During test flights I usually like to unzip my flight suit and whack off a few times. Here’s my view of the Mojave out the command-pod window:

https://vimeo.com/715269624

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Gumbygirl

If you go over my house, there’s an annoying crow who hangs out on my chimney and caws into my fireplace. I think he likes the echo. Feel free to blast him, but with laser- guided precision, please. Don’t disturb my nesting pair of roadrunners!

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Took the day off, gonna go out for lunch and then maybe some shopping with my lovely wife

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ballsofsteelandfury

You know, prostitution is legal in Nevada…

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ballsofsteelandfury

My work buddy has a saying and I think it applies here.

There is no such thing as can’t. It’s just you just don’t want to bad enough.

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King Hippo

TRUE. I only barely care at this point. It would be nice to have if it were super convenient and required minimal time/emotional investment. Beyond that? Meh.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean…isn’t that the whole appeal of call girls?

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King Hippo

Indeed. And I…dabbled, like once or twice per year. But the gross sex trafficking elements led to legal changes making it very hard to…find ratings/sufficient info to avoid getting robbed/cheated/teenager’d and get a legitimate independent ADULT courtesan, within the area.

Getting on a plane is a shit ton of work/annoyance, and driving to Nevada isn’t super appealing, either. If there was a legal brothel in, like, Montana? I could make a more fun/wilderness event out of it.

But despite my LOVE of GAMBLOR, I didn’t much care for Vegas. Tacky and loud, and flashing lights are a migraine trigger.

Meh. Like Balls said…I just don’t want it enough. The drive REALLY DOES plummet once one gets past 40. At least mine did.

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2Pack

We have a similar saying : if you want it badly – sometimes you get it badly.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I like that one.

0
yeah right

And the drive to Pahrump is easy and kind of interesting from Vegas.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Weird place for a DFOcon but you never know

0
King Hippo

It’s time for America’s hottest new game show – Commentist or Courtesan??

0
yeah right

Just Google chicken ranch and see if there’s anything interesting. It’s very safe although a bit of a drive and the whole experience is highly entertaining.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Isn’t it called Sheri’s Ranch?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yup.

https://www.sherisranch.com/

0
King Hippo

Looked through it, selction not bad. If I lived in LA, I probably would go every other year or such.

2
yeah right

That’s the more expensive one. I’m familiar with this one and the mamasan is a joy.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah they stopped calling it Chicken Ranch after an unpleasant incident involving the Reid family.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Same reason they stopped calling it All You Can Drink Ranch.

1
Gumbygirl

Gumby had a friend in the Navy who went there. Put it on his credit card. Divorce happened soon after.

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