Good evening. Had a bitch of a week and completely gapped on this. Don’t say its the weed because I have cut way down. So much so that the company I order off of has recently sent me a “We miss you” email!

I got to go to Decilitres new Kindergarten this week so he could get the lay of the land. We’ve put him in French Immersion as I did it and am completely fluent so why not give him that chance too! Hell, I use it most days at work and when he turns 18 and heads off to work at a resort in the mountains the Quebecoises reaaallly like Western Anglos who speak both! So we roll in there with other parents and wee’uns and they all start playing together. The teacher who was walking around the room introducing herself to the parents and children clearly loved her gig and was amazing with the children who would be attending in the fall. I noticed that none of the parents spoke French and a few made mention of this while we were chit chatting.

Litre’s brain: Just shut the fuck up speak English and you won’t get roped in to anything that you don’t want to do.

Principal walks up behind me, “Bonjour!”

Litre fully instinctual quick response – “Bonjour, comment ca va?”

Principal – “Oh, you speak French! That would be useful for field trips. Where in Montreal are you from?”

Litre’s brain – You hopeless dumbass, I am outta here.

Anyway I am slowly teaching wee man French words and phrases so he’s not overwhelmed when he goes to school. He is excited and taking to learning the language very well. This means vacations in France in the future where I can get my wine and cheese on.

Travel story!

Ah we will stay in France for this one. I was in Lyon with a friend who I had travelled through Morocco, Spain, and Andorra with. We were having one of them travel trysts and it was lovely. She was heading back to Melbourne in a week or so and we decided to head to wine country. We had a lovely little hotel near the town square, you know one of those with shared toilets at the end of the hall. After a lovely dinner it was time to head back to the hotel and hopefully engage in good times. We got back cracked another bottle of wine and the good times ensued. In the post coital glow she said she needed to use the W/C and that she would be right back. Well reader, she came back in about 30 seconds.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can you come with me?”

“To the W/C? Isn’t it a single?”

“Yeah, trust me, just wait outside the door.”

As we left the room and walked down the hall I saw the problem. There was a very hairy man standing in the middle of the hallway with his robe open staring at my Aussie lassie (clothed) and having a wank. I asked him in French, what the fuck are you doing? He responded that she was beautiful and he couldn’t help himself. It was 2000 and I was in my mid twenties so I stepped towards Pierre Peckerhands like I was going to punch him and he ran down the hall back into his room. From that point going forward I told the Aussie that we pee in the shower.

Wine time!

Lets stay in the Southern Hemisphere and head over to Kiwiland. New Zealand made themselves famous in the wine world from one grape, Sauvignon Blanc. They have others but Sauv B is easily the most planted and moves the most product. How it got famous and why is due to how fruit forward their style is.

When you have a Sauvignon Blanc from Loire in France it comes through as flinty, minerally even a bit metallic on the palette (great with oysters). The Sauv from New Zealand has a flavoUr profile that consists of but not limited to gooseberries, pink grapefruit, and passion fruit. The vintners block the malolactic conversion so that their wines keep high acid levels which translates in to overall fruitiness.

In the next couple Sundays we will take a look at the regions In New Zealand and what they make.

If you’re in your local wine shop and want a summery Sauv Bl have a look for Babich, Craggy Range, Cloudy Bay or at least make sure it’s from Marlborough. Note that some cheap Sauvs from down there us a chemical fining agent and that makes Litre seem like he drank a whole bottle of whisky and turns into “the other guy”. Oyster Bay, and Kim Crawford wines come to mind

*If you’re reading this at 5 pm DFO time just know that I am at a child’s birthday party with a raging hangover. Pray for Litre.