Hi folks. Sorry this is late. I was distracted by this season’s edition of the New York Yankees turning into last season’s edition of the New York Yankees over the last 11 innings of two games against the Red Sox. It’s easy to forget that it’s a 162 game season and that even the best team in the league will occasionally turn in some turkeys. Just hate when they do it against the Red Sox while revealing some very obvious weaknesses that they need to address prior to the post-season.

On the plus side, while late, I did not plagiarize any of this. It’s just straight stream of consciousness.

Based on the above gif, (looks like it’s from something called ‘Get Yarn’, but is also an outtake from one of the ‘Police Squad’ movies, and ultimately is a combined production of Juliette Lewis’s parents, her nutrition and work-out programs, and her bra. Congratulations to all of them.), you might think we’re drafting great busts, and you’re right. Sort of.

We’re drafting bad busts. Bad draft busts that is. Someday, (and this has been suggested before), we’ll do a draft of, um, “desirable” chests, shall we say, but that day is not today. Nope, today it’s draft busts. Rules are simple: NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA. Four major sports, all have drafts. Pick a person who, for whatever reason, was drafted and just never quite panned out.

Your commissioner for today’s draft is the large-and-in-charge Tony Mandarich. (Yes, you can still draft him)

Mandarich was definitely a bust when drafted with the second pick by Green Bay, but I made him the commissioner because, credit where credit’s due, he picked himself up and came back with the Colts, having what I recall as several productive if not All-Pro seasons. He’s also apparently now something of a skilled photographer. Anyway, he seemed like a good candidate to oversee this draft. Please don’t tell him where I live.

Speaking of the Yankees doing disappointing things, with the first pick I take Brien Taylor. Taylor was the Yankees first pick in the 1991 draft, and first overall pick as well since the Yankees were truly terrible at baseball back then. He spent two years in the minors pitching to an ERA over 5, then injured his shoulder in a bar fight and never pitched above AA. I just learned this today, but he did three years for possession of cocaine from 2012-2015, so that’s, uh, not good. I’ve had a hard time finding much about what has ultimately happened to Taylor, but post-arrest he apparently went back to the house he bought for his parents with his bonus money, and as far as I know he still lives there.

The rest of you are on the clock.