We’re bringing back the Monday Mock Drafts, because the #content monster needs to be fed, and because things get a little thin during the week during the season. The twist is that the topic will be the same every week, just like the CBS prime time line-up. All Chicago, all the time. Here, however, it’ll be what would you have preferred happened differently during last week’s games. It can be realistic, it can be semi-realistic, it can be something only Peter King would consider realistic, hell, you can attack the Philadelphia Eagles with the dragons from House of Dragons for all I care. The only limit on this draft is that it has to be something changed from an NFL game from last Monday to today. Probably should have posted these on Tuesday and included Monday, but too late now!
Anyway, I will go first. I’m drafting this at 6:13 pm on Sunday, so there’s a lot I might miss, but the Cowboys won and my FF team is exceeding expectations, (still losing, of course), so I’m pretty much all set.
What I would change this week would be for whatever happened to DK Metcalf to not have happened to DK Metcalf. Apparently he’s hurt, possibly dead, and definitely out. DK was my fourth round draft pick. First was Jonathan Taylor, (hurt, back but not effective), Second was Javonte Williams, (out, knee all gone), 3rd was Josh Allen, (still in, clearly in trouble just from being on my team), and 4th was my man DK, now dead. I would have preferred that my FF team not take another hit this past week, so my pick is that DK would have stayed healthy this past week.
Yours in the comments. Wait ten picks or 30 minutes. Open to suggestions to expand this to the Premier League, as both seasons run next to each other pretty much through the Superb Owl. Have at it.
I wish the Jets and Broncos had played a 39-38 barnburner and everyone in Denver wanted (shit I can’t even remember the shitty QBs name) to remain the starter for the rest of the season. Could Charmslinger pull off “supportive backup”? Alas, we shan’t know.
It was a Rypien or a McCown I think.
LioUns over the Cow Pokers. Being behind the Bears is just embarrassing for a team with an offense, and also dallas can go to hell
Let’s see. Brady lost? Q-aaron lost and looked like shit?
I’ll have a Coke.
I would have had Kenny Pickett run for a first down instead of throwing a game-ending interception.
From yesterday, during the Pack/Clits tilt:
“In a perfect world, NFL Jared Leto would throw a back breaking pick whilst getting blasted into the turf, but then Lil Danny Shitbag’s Clits would shit the bed and give up a defense touchdown.
….but then I would OD on schadenfreude”
I lost in the Freezer Vodka league, by 0.38 of a point. My TE, Mark Andrews BAL, got 0.4 points for me. Could he have not got another reception on his wonky knee?
As your Freezer Vodka opponent, there’s still a chance you’ll win with midweek adjustments
you’ve won. Those corrections never help me
Since I only saw the 3rd and some of the 4th quarter last night from all the games, my pick is that it was one of the earlier games, I’ll go with CLE vs BAL as it looked like it was close until the end
Not really a pick, but just for the record I wouldn’t change a thing about the Packers-Commanders game.
I would. At some point, Aaron Rodgers’s spleen would rupture and he needs to be hospitalized but insists on being taken to a shaman on a farm where he slowly dies of sepsis.
I don’t know, I think watching the slow decline will be very fulfilling
Trey Hendrickson finishes the game not hurt. The Bengals defense is only this good when Hendrickson is healthy. When he get banged up, the defense suddenly becomes “just okay “.
Near the end of Q4, MRSA Dreamboat is raped, then eaten by a bear. Nobody on his sideline attempts to intervene.
Gisele releases a sex tape involving herself and the Mannings called “A Night with the GOATs” and it airs on the stadium screens. Tom Brady curls into fetal crying like the bitch he is until he is carried off the field sobbing “I’m the GOAT. I’m the GOAT.”
OK, I am beginning to have some regrets about the “anything goes” nature of this draft.
Don’t wuss on me, Horatio. Don’t start what you can’t finish.
I would intervene, that poor bear needs some condiments to get that stringy asshole down. Maybe throw some melted butter or bbq sauce on number 12.
(A. Reid has entered the chat)
He needs one of those hypodermic flavor injectors they use on turkeys. Juice him up from the inside!
Well, I guess Breece Hall’s ACL stays intact?
This because I fucking dropped his backup yesterday morning.