Your Post Slave Labour Cup NFL Football Open Thread

Sober soccer fans as far as the eye can see. Woo! Well, let’s get to it.

To The Games!

Bears/Falcons:

These guys are 1st and 4th in rushing so that Velvet Underground tune Run, Run, Run, Run is dashing through my brain. If these O’s are going to eat clock all game long, why is the total (49) so high? Oh yeah, the D’s are both crappy.

Panthers/Ravens:

D’Onta is on a roll, having gone for 100 in three of his last four but Baltimore hasn’t given up that number to an individual player in 18 straight games. Carolina has little else to turn to so I’m guessing Foreman gets at least 25 carries.

Browns/Bills:

The Super Fun Game That Never Was is how this tilt shall be known (in my head). Josh has to get back to basics, having thrown 2 or more INT’s in three consecutive games. A Buffalo D that has given up 145 yards rushing faces down a Chubb that is third in rushing and has 11 scores.

Commies/Texans:

Texans historically don’t like Commies so that gives them a shot at the upset, right? Although at 5-5 Washington has played much better, albeit inconsistently, than most folks had imagined.

Eagles/Colts:

Saturday comes back to earth on Sunday? Both Sirianni and Philly’s DC were poached from Indy’s coaching staff and most likely know the Colts tendencies better than Saturday does. Plus there’s that whole rejuvenating ‘coming off a loss’ thingy to contend with.

Jets/Pats:

Way back on October 30th when these teams last played Motherlover had 3 INT’s and Mac got the sack six times-not a great day for either. I’m guessing more of the same treatment for both and the under on 38.5 looks lovely.

Rams/Saints:

This Rams D looks almost Aaron Donald Duckian in it’s ability to generate takeaways. They have just one(!) in their last seven tilts. The Saints O continues to sputter along despite having the likes of Kamara and Olave at it’s disposal. Andy Dalton does have that sort of ‘lowering the talent around him’ quality, don’t he?

Lions/Giants:

The thought of the Giants getting to 8 frickin’ wins and most likely being just two more W’s from a playoff spot makes my buttery muscles tingle. Thing is, although they defend the pass well, they haven’t yet played a top ten passing offense-the Lions are ranked 8th.

Push those buttons.

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Doktor Zymm

If it was okay to put the Bills on a bus in Buffalo and take that bus to a flight out of the Buffalo airport, why wasn’t it okay to have the game in Buffalo?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow. Jason Pierre-Paul with an interception. I am being completely honest when I say that I never in a million years expected that to happen ever again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know why I complain about the Raiders. My favorite color is green. My older brother is a Jets fan. There but for the grace of God go I.

Senor Weaselo

THERE’S the Prometheus eagle!

Sharkbait

LOLJest

Doktor Zymm

And that seals things for both New Yawks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What was that I said?

WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE THE JETS.

Dunstan

When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet for life.

fleshwound_NPG

if im a bears team doctor, im saying justin fields has a separated shoulder and is out for the year

do not kill him, you assholes

Doktor Zymm

You’re ignoring the fact that it’s the Bears

Senor Weaselo

Wan’dale Wan’dead? Also on my bench in favor for resident law firm Jakobi (&) Meyers, but that’s my own fault.