Even More Content!? Your Second NFL Football Open Thread

The hits just keep on coming.

To The Games!

Raiders/Broncos:

This Rikki/Hippo Darby is brought to you by that “Gloom, Despair and Agony on me, Deep Dark Depression, Excessive Misery” song from Hee Haw. A very young scotchy did not like country or western music but you know what he did like? Curvy women hanging out in corn fields telling jokes and batting their eyelids. Both coaches will be standing all game, not because that’s what coaches do but because that coaching seat is getting Hot, Hot, Hot no matter what Mark Davis says. Denver’s D is incredible but the O is like Wilson before marriage-not able to score.

Cowboys/Vikes:

I’m grateful for this game just for the fact that it should provide some clarity to the pecking order of the jumble of teams in the upper echelon of the NFC. Despite just the one loss Minny is having some trouble getting respect-many folks thinking that Allen gave the game to the Vikes through his generosity with the ball, like a cowboy drunk on too many sarsaparillas. Still, their point differential is +35 which is tied for third in the conference. (only 7 teams sport a positive number. Ugh.)

Bengals/Steelers:

Cincy slew the ghosts of many, many Steelers losses last year and then laid down and lost again (by 3) the first week of the season. But that was back when a certain qb was fresh off an exploded appendix. The o-line is playing better and the Bengals have scored 30, 35 and 42 in their their last three wins which have been without Chase. Pitt’s rookie qb Pickett is going thru the usual adjustment phases that first year guys face-learning to recognize schemes and the speed of the game. Tomlin won’t really know what he has until the rook goes through the league a second time.

Type that thing.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
183 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Life is empty and meaningless without gambling!” – FanDuel

Horatio Cornblower

Watching the Grey Cup and the players all have one eye-black. Is this because of the exchange rate?

Horatio Cornblower

Mike Tomlin showing his age in the first time I can remember.

Brick Meathook

I noticed that too. He looked like an old man in those last shots.

King Hippo

I totally said that in my Monday draft as well. Our periods are all synching up now, I bet.

Redshirt

A lifetime of Bengals football teaches me to enjoy this moment and fear they’ll blow this somehow.

Senor Weaselo

Update: Still outside. We don’t need descriptions of everyone saying the brachots, just say them and let us get the fuck inside, it’s 31, feels like 21 and I don’t think my bow arm’s gonna make it.

And this is with the Under Armour cold gear.

Last edited 1 year ago by Senor Weaselo
Horatio Cornblower

Have you considered starting a fire?

Game Time Decision

ROUGE!!!!

King Hippo

Did I say “motherfucker” in front of family? You know it.

Horatio Cornblower

Mine wouldn’t even blink.

Dunstan

Can’t believe there isn’t a Grey Cup Manningcast

Game Time Decision

Fluite and Moon Cast?

WCS

Special guests:

comment image

King Hippo

Hello. Fuck everything

Dunstan

Welcome, Mr. Grossman

Doktor Zymm

Just close your eyes and think of the draft pick

Mr. Ayo

Us HOX fans can’t wait!

Mr. Ayo

comment image

WCS

NFL BLITZ!

Spur

Raiders getting crazy!

Spur

my parley is still alive. Cincy needs to keep Burrow upright to win by 4. Is that too much to ask for?

Recovery Whiskey

Wow Russ way to preserve the 48 yard try by throwing it away

herodotus450

Hey their proper name is “The Cincinnati Bengals”

Mr. Ayo

Which is odd because he has a TON of practice trying it.

Doktor Zymm

I have a memory of him escaping quite a few collapsing pockets last year, but that very well could have been a series of anomalies that somehow relate to the amount of dark matter in the universe

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, CBS just switched away from Cowboys Vikings because it wasn’t competitive.

I’m kinda pissed, but also kinda proud.

Recovery Whiskey

You missed them high fiving on a 3 and out while down 37-3

Horatio Cornblower

Silver linings, amirite?

Petronel

Was enjoying watching the Vikes get killed. Now am watching Cincy for the first time this year and…huh, white tigers. Kinda like it.

Recovery Whiskey

Watching Denver keep waiting on Russ to Cook. I am so sorry guys

Spur

Like to think this game is Dallas revenge for 1 of 3 Randy Moss games.

WCS

TJ Watt is a sentient cheat code.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

37-3 and they don’t even have another game they can switch to. Surprised Fox doesn’t throw on a rerun of Bob’s Burgers or something.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Guess I was mistaken – I didn’t think they could switch to an all-AFC game.

Doktor Zymm

Broadcasting mercy rule

Recovery Whiskey

Old Trump speeches would be better

Mr. Ayo

Holy shit, they are switching away.

Hello Yinzers and Redshirt!

Game Time Decision

Grey Cup is on now

Brick Meathook

Did you see that cheerleader dressed as a referee?

Doktor Zymm

Now the head injury is on the other person in that fast food restaurant!

Horatio Cornblower

https://twitter.com/EnMexicoMagico/status/1594190231129190400

I somehow doubt this translates as a compliment to the USofA.

Recovery Whiskey

Oh look arabs

Horatio Cornblower

EXTRA LEAD PAINT CHIPS FOR ZEKE!!!

Redshirt

Cincy is making up new rules as they go along.

WCS

And still doing them wrong.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, I totally forgot the Rams and Saints were playing earlier

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
WCS

Another weird-ass BLEERGH in Yinzburgh. “Ineligible fair catch signal” is not something that exists in reality.

Horatio Cornblower

The last Booth I saw have a day this bad broke his leg trying to leave a theater.

Doktor Zymm

We’ve replaced the Minnesota Vikings with Folgers Crystals. Let’s see if anyone notices!

Mr. Ayo

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE MINNESOTA VIKINGS I CALL THEM PURPLE ONIONS BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING SLICED INTO PIECES AND IT’S MAKING PEOPLE CRY.

Doktor Zymm

*Starts researching how to batter and fry the Vikings*
-A. Reid

King Hippo

Freiermuth seems to have a LUNCH PALE vibe that the Yinzers approve of

WCS

Sigh.

King Hippo

In-com-PLETE!!!

/this has turned into quite the emo challenge, mutually assured DERPstruction

Doktor Zymm

Best Middle School Mustache: Carr or Heinike?

WCS

Holy shit, Reshirt. I’m genuinely convinced the Bungles o-line want Joe Borrow to die.

WCS

Mike Brown might just be insane and cheap enough to give bounties to the linemen who let Borrow get crushed and injured as a cost-saving measure.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe next time he’ll take them to a steakhouse instead of just ordering in a catering tray of two-way Cincinnati chilli

Redshirt

Brown is too cheap to pay for cheese.

Horatio Cornblower

EXTRA RIBS FOR TONY POLLARD!!!

Doktor Zymm

First he spends centuries promoting full foliage on trees, and now an excellent game of footed ball! Well done, that man!

Horatio Cornblower

Truly a Renaissance Man if I’ve ever seen one.

/Has never seen one

WCS

comment image