Your “All The Sports, Ever!” Open Thread

Is there such a thing as too many sporting events on a given day? If so, today is that day. Just with respect to my own cheering interests Man City is playing while I cobble this piece together (they’re up 2-0 on Girona with goals scored by The Broom and a well-rested Haaland), the Sens play the disease-riddled Red Wings at 1pm EST and Sillycuse is on at 3pm.

Oh yeah, there’s a World Cup third-place thingy going on and five bowl games are being played including The Jimmy Kimmel LA Bowl between Washington State and Fresno State. (no word yet on which team he’ll be playing for) There’s a smattering of juicy college basketball tilts and the good folks at NBC, are trying to keep up with some drone racing.  A true pornacopia of sportsball offerings-we are blessed.

To The Game!

Colts/Vikes:

-Welcome to the spotlight Jeff Saturday, coach of a high school team that was four games over .500 during your three years there. [snorts]

-I’ll be taking the over on that Justin Jefferson receiving prop of 94.5 yards. He’s the surest thing in the league nowadays.

-As I may have mentioned last week, Minny can clinch the NFC North with a W today.

-The Colts defensive front is fully healthy for the first time this year-they’ve got to get to Cousins in order to have a chance of an upset.

-A wee bit of history-this will be the 1,000th game played for the Vikings franchise. Fran Tarkenton came off the bench in their first game back in 1961 to get them the win. They are pro sport’s most successful team that hasn’t won a championship.

-The Colts pass D is surprisingly good-as concerns yards allowed they are third-best in the league.

Now get watching something, anything.

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The Maestro

Still not making up for Gary Anderson missing that kick, though.

yeah right

You had to bring it up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Matt Ryan is cursed and doesn’t even come with a free frogurt.

Redshirt

Perfect way for Indianapolis to lose.

Brocky

Indy needs to play for the tie at this point.

I’m not even joking

Redshirt

That was more a volleyball serve than a forward pass.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS VIKINGS-COLTS GAME I CALL IT FATHER’S DAY BECAUSE THEY’RE PLAYING FOR THE TIE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(and no one is going to be happy at the end of it)

King Hippo

Play for the point, Humps!

Mr. Ayo

Glorious Draw odds just spiked.

Mr. Ayo

And Blair Walsh shrugged.

Redshirt

Like anyone in Baltimore or Cleveland is turning off this game!

King Hippo

This might be the best-announced game of the season

Brocky

The dumb and dumber joke made it

Redshirt

Come on Tie Number 2

King Hippo

If we end in Most Glorious Draw, I think it should STILL be the record comeback

Mr. Ayo

Think that honor still belongs to Kim Kardashian

Brick Meathook

Matt Ryan has certainly seen some big comebacks

King Hippo

Tails failed. Shit be cray.

King Hippo

Extra Time Bananacakes!

Brick Meathook

Meanwhile, yeahright is watching Cabaret.

King Hippo

He will totally think we’re pranking him.

yeah right

I just parked at the auditorium and checked the score.

Nuts fully cracked.

King Hippo

Pretend you have explosive diarrhea

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pretend?

King Hippo

I had no idea one could un-shit one’s pants

herodotus450

Pretty weird, my TV cut out for the third period of the Detroit Derby, I guess we’ll never know what happened.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy fuck

Mr. Ayo

Shame yeah right is missing this for a ballet.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Still time for a backbreaking L

Mr. Ayo

For which team?

Tie is the only salvation for both now.

King Hippo

#WhyWeWatch

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What a wuss

Redshirt

“Nice comeback you’re having here. Be a shame if something happened to it.” – BLEERGH

Mr. Ayo

SKOL!

Mr. Ayo

BLEEEERGH!!!