Welcome back to the Beat! For the… 6th? season in a row, I’m your friendly neighborhood Senor Weaselo, here to report and recap, well, BattleBots. It’s a little bit of a different vibe this year, so let me get into the gist of the details:

-There are only 50 full-competing robots in the field. There are others, like Doomba and Rusty Jr., that are alternates/are competing in the Champions competition. Some bots were cut, like Icewave and Deep Six (though the latter team returns with a new robot).

-No Tombstone this year. Ray Billings hurt his hand last year, and in addition to showing us some gruesome injury pics, had surgery. I believe it was a severed tendon. So, with the injury and the surgeries, he couldn’t get the bot done/surgeries were scheduled during parts of the season. He is listed as part of the Malice team, so he did make it to the event to hang with them. Other notable absences, in addition to Icewave and Deep Six are Uppercut (some members are now between Ripperoni and Starchild), Blacksmith, Blade. Retired bots include DUCK!, Ghost Raptor, Pain Train (in favor of sized up beetleweight Shreddit Bro), SMEEEEEEEE, P1 (also folded into Ripperoni and Starchild), and possibly SubZero and Yeti. Leanne Cushing is not present as she’s apparently moved cross-country, so Valkyrie is now captained and driven by Lucy Du (formerly of Team SawBlaze; driver Fred Moore now drives Ripperoni).

-Notable returning teams after absences: Beta, Quantum, Monsoon, Death Roll, Dragon King (a King of Bots robot now owned by the team behind Skorpios); Sam & Dave of Team Carbide return to run Cobalt as part of Robotic Death Company, and Tim Bouwens (Reality) returns with a new robot, Ominous, an omniwheeled drum spinner. (Will it fight Shatter!? Of course.)

-Teams now know their schedules at the beginning of the season. Each team gets four fights (so we’re back to four fights, yay), top 32 are in the tournament as deemed by the powers that be.

-Jason Bardis is no longer a judge. Added to the fold is Fon Davis (Mouser Mecha Catbot). Hal Rucker (DUCK!) actually has an unspecified position in BattleBots.

-Also added is a new position, the steward. If a team feels like the judges missed something en route to a decision, they can call on the steward to make an appeal and act as an intermediary. (Be warned, you get one per team per season.) The steward is Mike Jeffries, former captain of Bombshell.

-One of the three referees, Michael Ayers, passed away in the offseason. Katheryn Godfrey, the first female referee in BattleBots history, steps into the striped shirt.

So with that, we’re underway. Onto the fights!

Ribbot vs. Witch Doctor
We start off with a similar premise from the first two of last season’s main events. In one corner it’s last season’s #2 seed, the fearsome frog of Ribbot. A dominant 3-0 record netted them that #2 seed, but it was followed by a loss to Hydra in the first round. They were able to get back on their feet with a win over gatekeeper Lock-Jaw in the Sin City Slugfest before losing to dethroned champion and the only pre-tourney seed higher than them, End Game, in the Golden Bolt quarterfinals.

In the other, it’s a team that needs no introduction, Witch Doctor. By the time this season ends, wherever it ends for them, no team will have had more fights logged in modern BattleBots than them. They’ve done it all… except win a major championship. No, unfortunately re:MARS doesn’t count as a major. Finishing second for both the Giant Nut and the Golden Bolt means either the runner’s up curse will be absolutely brutal or cancel each other out. Let’s find out:

Ribbot was the one coming out of the starting blocks first, with their vertical spinner for this fight. And with sparks drawn and a piece of something off of someone, it seemed like it might be a decent start. Except that piece was a Ribbot wedgelet, and it was followed shortly after by their front left wheel. At this point Ribbot was actually down to zero wedgelets and three wheels. This would probably be considered a bad sign, as Witch Doctor tried to get under via the front, but the remnants of Ribbot’s wedgelets did enough to keep Mike Gellatly’s driving at bay.

Witch Doctor veered back and forth looking for an angle, and Ribbot decided to try and make them pay, but was unable to capitalize, and instead was repelled and flipped. Now Witch Doctor had the angle, or the combo chance. The second hit sent Ribbot somersaulting into the corner, sans foam frog, and a third did more damage and officially killed Ribbot’s weapon.

At this point it seemed to be a “when,” not “if” for the stoppage, as Witch Doctor had a weaponless Ribbot in the corner, taking off a second tire and leaving Ribbot in the corner. Yup, fight over.

Witch Doctor wins by KO in 1:15. They get Fusion next. Ribbot will get Claw Viper in its second fight.

Quantum vs. Captain Shrederator
With Tombstone not competing this season, it’s a very small list of robots that have competed in every season. Splatter/Whiplash kinda counts, but Splatter was an alternate in Season 2 and didn’t get a fight. So that list is: Witch Doctor, HyperShock, Lock-Jaw, and… Captain Shrederator? That seems off, but that is correct. Just four robots, and Shrederator is one of them, even if it’s had some of the less sustained success. But after a 2-1 year and a tournament appearance, hey, maybe things have kinda turned the corner!

Facing that corner is the last crusher in the game since Kraken’s now another hammer-saw, Razer’s spiritual successor and early leader in the clubhouse for what I believe would be a second Best Design Bolt, Quantum. The whole thing can best be described as “CAD porn.” CAD porn that has 35,000 lbs at the tip of its jaw, or 17.5 tons, or almost 16 metric tons. The big question will continue to be how they hold up against spinners. Well, Shrederator counts, as will (checks schedule) Black Dragon and Emulsifier later on.

Quantum obviously box rushed, and that led to Shrederator evading, but going right into a wall, which meant Quantum could continue to nudge at it before cornering the not-spinning bot and taking a bite. Bite 1 might have missed and gotten one of the spokes, but bite 2 came in to grab and let go. The third bite, you can hear Quantum’s fangs go right through, as Chris Rose had already mentioned “crusherability” channeling Jonathan Pearce, and Kenny Florian had mentioned, like a hot knife through butter. Which I’ve always wanted to try, by the way.

Meanwhile, Quantum was taking Shrederator on a tour of the screws so hard that the whole thing nearly overbalanced. Through this, whatever Quantum had bitten into had killed the weapon. The biting continued, complete with a full lift, while Quantum raced Shrederator-first into a set of screws. More biting and ramming led to a lick of flame under the shell. One more bite and some puffs of smoke from Shrederator would do it.

Quantum wins by KO in 2:38. They get Gruff next to see if they can bite through that AR500 shell. Hey, they did bite through Blacksmith, and we know how that went. Captain Shrederator gets HiJinx as its second fight.

Ripperoni vs. Gruff
Speaking of Gruff, actually, the tough flamethrower-lifter returns after a disappointing season that saw drivetrain problems. Their first fight is Ripperoni, a rookie asymmetrical vertical spinner. Not because the weapon is asymmetrical, mind you. The chassis and wheels are asymmetrical, and combined with the flywheel in the rear it’s supposed to mitigate the gyroscopic forces the weapon produces. I’m intrigued.

Ripperoni started this off by having BattleBots veteran driver Frederick Moore… hit a seam and cause the bot to start acting like the bot some of its members last worked on, Uppercut. In terms of the bouncing around, not the violence. Though when the weapon connected, you could see the sparks as one of Gruff’s lifter arms was bent. So the weapon works, it was just a matter of keeping Ripperoni under control, which was proving difficult as it bucked around at all sorts of different things.

Occasionally, this would include Gruff, and you can see the power of Ripperoni’s weapon doing things like flipping Gruff. But also, something would happen like backing up, sending the robot into the kind of break dance fighting Derek Zoolander would be proud of. Unfortunately, this doesn’t win you robot fights, nor does getting almost run the length of the box before physics said “nope” and another little dance ensued. One of the wedges had been bent up (probably from all the bouncing around) leading to more bouncing around, or occasionally flicking itself way up into the air.

Pieces were falling off here and there from Gruff, so the lifter had to be careful, even when getting a proper lift on Ripperoni. But most of it was watching Ripperoni give itself negative control points. Though it looked pretty cool pirouetting on its small wheel. Fred Moore liked it at least.

Gruff started to smoke in the last seconds, but Ripperoni did too, as it went to the judges, who went with the unsurprising call.

Gruff wins by unanimous decision. We already mentioned they get Quantum next. Ripperoni gets… End Game as their second fight? Well, good luck with that.

HUGE vs. Shatter!
Two anti-meta bots get to fight. HUGE has been the meta defining anti-meta bot, if that makes sense. Basically, thanks to its size and stature, it gets to hit at angles others don’t. Combined with the new Tegris wheels, which are firmer while still having the same idea of HUGE. (Here are notable differences between Tegris and HUGE’s usual UHMW plastic, thanks to Mammoth’s Ricky Willems!)

On the other hand, Shatter! is considered the premier hammer-bot (it gets to fight Beta later to truly determine that), a different attempt to counter the vert meta. More importantly, it could potentially hit HUGE’s body, which not a ton of meta-bots can do. And by “not a ton,” I mean… Whiplash and Uppercut, and the latter isn’t here. Maybe Monsoon/Emulsifier. The taller verts. Interesting choice to go with the Mary Special (the anime sword) over one of the hammer heads, seems like it’s trading offense for defense.

Shatter! looked to box rush, but then turned away. This gave HUGE a chance to track the hammer-bot down and get the first hit to the side on Shatter!’s ablative armor. Basically, it’s supposed to tear away a bit. But it looked like Shatter! was oversteering, as it showed its side to an oncoming HUGE again as vinyl rained down. (The vinyl is the decorative parts on Shatter!)

The hammer could right itself and rain a hit down, but HUGE gave one right back and turned away Shatter!’s advances. A couple hits to the wheels on HUGE showed that for this fight they’d also act as armor—nothing doing there. Shatter! did hit one of the stabilizing bars, but with HUGE against the area side there wasn’t really anywhere to hit. HUGE turned and popped Shatter! up, right back on it, continuing to flummox the hammer and work the sides. The ablative armor was gone at this point, as was one of the plastic anti-HUGE hammer arm protectors. And even at this point the armor armor was gone as HUGE had sent that flying, and something was hanging out.

Shatter! kicked from an attack as HUGE hit the more armored side, and the hammer bot was stuck on the rails. Adam Wrigley said to fire the hammer, possibly to get Shatter! off, but the hammer was dead, meaning Shatter! in this fight was too. Probably for the best. There’s not too many ways this could have gotten better for the Brooklyn squad, and a whole lotta ways it could have gotten worse.

HUGE wins by KO in 2:00. They get Blip next, while Shatter! gets the hammer battle with Beta next.

Riptide vs. Glitch
Last year’s co-Rookies of the Year square off, because of course. Riptide gained its status by going on a little bit of a shock quarterfinal run. No, they did not change the name of the team to signify this from Break32 to Break8 or 4. Meanwhile, Glitch went undefeated in the fight cards, and was primed for a big run, except for the fact that they were Glitch by name and by nature and had to withdraw from a first round fight against Witch Doctor. They made up for it by running through Rotator’s bracket in Champions with one of the most impressive KOs ever, making Rotator shear itself, before getting that rematch with Witch Doctor in the Golden Bolt quarters and finally properly losing. And guess what? It was still a “Will they or won’t they be ready in time?” I guess it’s the nature of the bot since it’s in the name.

Both bots spun up, with Riptide the early aggressor. They got the first hit a glancing blow on Glitch’s corner, which somehow sent Glitch flying like they got pog-flipped.

And we learned something today. Due to its W shape, and not having a proper srimech, Glitch can’t self-right. Fight over.

Riptide wins the early Sophomore of the Year battle by KO in 47 seconds. They get MadCatter next, while Glitch gets Lock-Jaw.

Free Shipping vs. Gigabyte
Free Shipping is back, and looks even more like Original Sin with a token weapon. The bad news is that this was done by making it a vert. Fuck it, Gary Gin went meta. Free Shipping’s gonna go minimum eight-peat.

Gigabyte is Gigabyte. We know Gigabyte, even if the last we saw of it it was spectacularly recoiling from HyperShock’s blow and ripped itself apart. John Mladenik’s primarily working with the Team Carbide branch of the family, so he’s handed the captain’s chair and the driving to Derek Tran and Camden Wallraff. Well, for their first act they get one of the best drivers in BattleBots and combat robotics history, so have fun! (And IIRC, Brent Rieker, the co-captain, has been dealing with an illness and we all wish him the best. And if I’m incorrect about who on the team it was, we still wish him the best, because hell, why not?)

Gigabyte started this fun by pointing the wrong way and driving into the wall, making the box rush slightly easier. This meant Free Shipping could get under and get some pops in, nearly flipping Gigabyte over at the end of the action.

Free Shipping came ahead again and though Gigabyte evaded, it again went straight into the corner, only escaping because Free Shipping hit a seam. By the way, if you see those gray lines on the BattleBox, those are no flame zones, because of Free Shipping. Also Gruff, but Free Shipping’s the one who pissed off the safety crew. Otherwise you risk damaging the Lexan.

Gigabyte could spin up, but it didn’t seem to have the normal Gigabyte power, as Free Shipping rushed and tanked one, then a second. The second ricocheted Gigabyte off the corner and it was still unstable as it went up Free Shipping and over. Normally this is what the giant pipe on Gigabyte is for, to self-right, but the pipe broke on impact, leading Gigabyte to become a giant top. One that spun until Free Shipping pushed it to the pulverizer, stopping the momentum.

Free Shipping wins by KO in 2:01. They get an old Robogames foe in Minotaur next, while Gigabyte gets Bloodsport.

Main Event: Tantrum vs. Minotaur
Why is it Banner Night? Well, because now that BattleBots is in its new home officially (Destruct-a-Thon, a nightly show, begins February 3rd), they’ve added championship banners for every heavyweight champion in (televised) BattleBots history: BioHazard (Long Beach ’99, Seasons 2.0 [’00], 4.0 [’01], & 5.0 [’02]), listed by years of filming but they’re blurry in the shot I’ve seen below), Vlad the Impaler (Las Vegas ’99 & 1.0 [’00]), Son of Whyachi (3.0 [’01]), and “World Champion” blurbs for Bite Force (the modern years are Roman numerals so I, III, & IV), Tombstone (II), End Game (V), and what would be the last to be unveiled, Tantrum (VI). Also, because they can, there’s a banner for La Machine, middleweight champion of Robot Wars 1995. No, it’s not BattleBots, but it was their robot.

No love for Karcas 2 (heavyweight champion in 2005) or Brutality (2009). Or other weight classes. If someone goes to Vegas and goes to the live show, I want banner pictures. That obviously goes for me as well.

Against them, semifinalist Minotaur, looking for their own banner after being so close several times. There’s nothing to say about them, but hey, Marco Meggiolaro’s back!

Tantrum seems even sprier as the champ went for the box rush early, respecting Minotaur’s power. It bounced off, though. But Tantrum kept pestering in the early goings, flipping Minotaur, which took the second or two to gyro back. But it meant Tantrum could stay on the push before Minotaur’s drum was able to turn it aside.

Eventually Daniel Freitas was able to cut the ring enough to capitalize on where Tantrum would double back and dealt the first real blow, flipping Tantrum over. Tantrum had to self-right with its fists, but Minotaur helped them out with a shot that sent them arcing in the air, back on their wheels. But the srimech fists had been ripped off, so there was less traction on those. And one of the pipes was totally bent, so that was even worse.

So, now knowing Tantrum couldn’t get flipped over again they stayed toe to toe, punching back, but got just enough of the drum coming back for an approach that the bot leaned to the side, and, wait for it, tipped over. Tantrum tried to crawl using its weapon to punch, but even though crabwalking is now legal movement, barely moving trying to use the weapon doesn’t count.

Minotaur wins by KO in 1:20. Fun fact, it’s the first time a defending champ has lost a Fight Night fight. (Tombstone went 4-0 in Season 3, Bite Force went 4-0 in Season 4 and didn’t appear in Season 5, End Game went 3-0 in Season 6). Minotaur will fight Free Shipping next, as mentioned, while Tantrum gets a rematch with the other bot to lose in the semifinals, the one it beat to make it to the championship fight, Hydra.

So there you have it for now, as this goes up a little late (hey, I had a half-hour overtime on my gig and went to bed at 2 with half of this done, so I’m gonna say it was the OT). Next week, more high-hype fights. HyperShock vs. SawBlaze to open it up, and the main event: the other Seems Reasonable bot, Blip, takes on former Giant Nut winner and current Golden Bolt holder End Game. And I will actually get to watch the episode in real time. See you next week!