Welcome back to the Beat! Last week we saw the field finish their first fights and some start their seconds. And some of those bots are already in hot water—Emulsifier’s had two good fights, but 0-2 isn’t a good start for a rookie bot. And even not-rookie bots, like 2020’s runner-up, Whiplash. The switch to brushless has not been kind thus far for the Vasquez family, though I am actually kinda shocked that a control-oriented bot such as Whiplash hadn’t switched to brushless motors already for the extra drive power. On the other hand, Quantum (2-0) might already be in after wins over Captain Shrederator and Gruff, and their other two fights could be about where they end up seeding-wise. It’s too early to do a bubble outlook, but Quantum’s looking good. Other bots look to join Quantum at 2-0 this week. To the fights!

Free Shipping vs. Minotaur
Free Shipping: 1-0 (W, KO 2:01 vs. Gigabyte)
Minotaur: 1-0 (W, KO 1:20 vs. Tantrum)

Hey, I’ve seen this fight once or twice before! Well not exactly this fight, but something like it. Let’s look at all the times Free Shipping and Tauro Maximus have finished 1-2 in the heavyweight division of Robogames. Actually… only once, in 2015 where Riobotz had their lone Robogames heavyweight title. But the point is, this battle goes back. Free Shipping remains the legally obligated to have a weapon version of Original Sin which is a nerf in terms of the wedge being less wedge. In this case, it’s actually more forklift-style forks (hey, there’s the name) because again, can’t just have wedge. (Minotaur would just count as a 250 lb. version of Tauro/Tauro Maximus, of course.)

Free Shipping rushed, and those forks got right under Minotaur and flipped it. I mean, sure, Minotaur can gyro itself over but it’s still time lost, and time controlled by Free Shipping. As seen about 7 seconds later, when Minotaur got itself sorted out and popped Free Shipping up, immediately ripping off one of the forks.

Free Shipping backpedaled but stayed as firm as possible. Minotaur was getting to the sides but unable to score a hit, reverting instead to another air-popping shot. Minotaur gyro tilted, which gave Free Shipping time to push it into the wall, but unable to stop the drum which again re-righted Minotaur.

Minotaur ground away at Free Shipping’s side, showing some sort of either switch or something, maybe to control the flamethrower? More importantly it ground away at Free Shipping’s front left tire which certainly looked worse off. A nifty pulverizer pin gave Minotaur an opening to combo up attacks and get Free Shipping airborne again.

Free Shipping looked to get around to push, but Minotaur was prepared and headed off Free Shipping, dealing another hit or two and leaving the bot on the rail. Which it tried to, yes, drive off from, but another hit and another pulverizer pin made sure it was going nowhere before losing a wheel properly, believe it or not, the front right, not the front left. Free Shipping backed away, turned, and… stopped? It must have gotten high centered, that’s the same spot in the short corner where Emulsifier got tripped up. Though Free Shipping wasn’t going to win this fight the same way Emulsifier looked like it.

Minotaur wins by KO in 2:01 and moves to 2-0 for the first time (they’ve gotten hellish starts). They’ll face Cobalt next. Free Shipping (1-1) gets Hydra.

Claw Viper vs. Ribbot
Claw Viper: 1-0 (W, KO 2:46 vs. Ominous)
Ribbot: 0-1 (L, KO 1:15 vs. Witch Doctor)

Claw Viper is fast. And that speed killed when it came to fighting Ominous—just a little more control from the no-longer-rookie bot goes a long way. Now they get a step up in spinners, so we’ll see if the clamper bot can really make a statement for the non-spinner meta.

Ribbot lost a little bit of luster after getting torn up by Witch Doctor, but come on, it’s Witch Doctor. But this seems like a good enough bounce-back for last year’s 2 seed. For this fight they have their better of the two systems, the vertical spinner.

As per tradition, Claw Viper took a second to get across the box, so even with an attempt to sidestep, Ribbot got clipped. Claw Viper continued to chase while Ribbot got its weapon up to speed. It got the grab, but nearly tipped. Undeterred, another bite put Ribbot in a slightly more awkward position for Claw Viper to slam it into the wall so hard that it took one of the decorative eyes off of Ribbot’s frog.

Ribbot was able to do some damage in retaliation, but the drive was locking up from that slam. Claw Viper pushed and managed to get Ribbot on the spike strip. It seemed like it would be it, but Ribbot was mobile enough. They were pinned by a wall, weapon spinning up… and complaining about non-engagement? I mean, there’s avoidance, but you’re not going to slam your non-spinner right into a spinner head-on, you’re gonna somewhat try to flank. Claw Viper eventually went for it and there was some slight fork damage but Claw Viper grabbed Ribbot and slammed it weapon-first into the wall, which gashed an inner Lexan wall. Also it flipped Ribbot over, which meant they were even in a worse position, bouncing around and eventually losing all function in its weapon.

This meant Claw Viper could just keep slamming to the buzzer. It did go to the judges, but it was cut and dry, Claw Viper by unanimous decision. They’re a surprising 2-0 and get Overhaul next. Ribbot is an also-surprising 0-2, facing Jackpot next.

Lock-Jaw vs. SawBlaze
Lock-Jaw: 1-0 (W, JD 3-0 vs. Malice)
SawBlaze: 1-0 (W, JD* 3-0 vs. HyperShock)

Hey, Lock-Jaw won a fight! It’s already a better season than last year! Sure, the fight kinda fizzled out because everyone’s everything kinda died in that one, but it still counts!

SawBlaze is also 1-0 with the first bizarre fight of the year. And even if it wasn’t the first one aired, it was once again the first fight filmed. So the first fight of the season was a weird one and BattleBots got to test unstick rules immediately, perfect! And yes, the robot that had its weapon jammed in the other’s bottom plate won. Along with Witch Doctor and Minotaur, SawBlaze seems like a bot that seems primed to be a first-time champ.

Lock-Jaw went right up the wedge at the beginning of the fight and almost cartwheeled over SawBlaze. That could have been weird fluky shit either way depending on what it hit on the way up. Instead, on the way down SawBlaze was there for the scoop and run into the screws before bringing the saw down twice.

But Lock-Jaw was able to get out in time and deal some sparks to SawBlaze’s plow. SawBlaze was overpowering Lock-Jaw though, pushing it around and casually backhanding minibot Screw Job. Lock-Jaw was still inverted, so sparks yes when the weapon contacted SawBlaze, but no real damage. It took running into SawBlaze again to tip back over. Sure, Lock-Jaw was slowly grinding away at the plow, but it needed more time. And not to pivot the weapon into what I believe was the floor to flip itself over on top of the screw casing.

That’s a new one. Lock-Jaw had a wheel on the top of the screw casings, but the only wheel spinning was a back wheel, uselessly in the air. I think Lock-Jaw did the thing… but to itself.

SawBlaze wins by KO in 2:36. Now 2-0, they’ll get the long-awaited sawbot fight with Skorpios next. Lock-Jaw (1-1) will fight Glitch.

Blip vs. HUGE
Blip: 0-1 (L, JD 3-0 vs. End Game)
HUGE: 1-0 (W, KO 2:00 vs. Shatter!)

It doesn’t get any easier for Blip. Fresh after getting zero successful flips against the ground domination of End Game, they get a robot that has no good places to flip in HUGE. Paging Jake Ewert, can Aren Hill borrow the bike rack? Instead the plan is to replace the wedge with hooks to try and hook onto something (like a hole in the wheels) and get a hang of HUGE that way. Also armor, of course.

HUGE on the other hand got a win against one of the few robots that could potentially hit it, Shatter!. With that, HUGE has a chance to have a solid regular season, where 3-1 and 4-0 is a real possibility. HUGE hard counters flippers, unless they have the aforementioned bike rack. And that was its own issue.

The plan was absolutely to go for HUGE’s wheels. Aren Hill knew it, Jonathan Schultz knew it, and HUGE was able to turn away and deal glancing damage to Blip. But Blip was able to get that hook in and actually flip HUGE! Kinda. Take that, Jake Ewert. And actually, able to do it twice and actually get HUGE over. So the weapon was spinning downwards now, and that actually worked better for HUGE because the weapon just cleaved through the top of Blip into the flipping wedge. And guess what? That means it’s time for another Crewbot Unstick! (Remember, by crewbot we mean Mr. Crowbar and his friend, who is also a crowbar, and hope that that’s a Harmon/writers joke and not a Roiland joke. And by that, it’s once again co-founder Trey Roski with a crowbar.)

The good news is they could separate the bar. The bad news was for Blip that now HUGE was spinning the best and most effective way for rolling over Blip and causing damage. The worse news was between everything, the flipper was out of commission, whether it was due to the hit severing the cords or whatever trying to jerk around. Even if Blip kept trying to stay aggressive, even with Aren Hill saying “Stop running away!” To which, of course the only response is “Stop chasing!”

To use Jonathan Schultz’s B-roll where he’s doing the Jeb! meme pose… please clap.

Blip, though risking and taking damage every time, did manage to get HUGE to the screws and nearly got the big spinner’s wheel over the screws, which would have been a last-ditch win. Unfortunately no luck. Blip tried to prevent HUGE from spinning, and the killsaw didn’t help the case.

Well, Blip’s managed to survive all six minutes against these two bots. No picturesque flips. No wins.

HUGE wins by unanimous decision, and they’re 2-0. They get Fusion next, which I feel like they can sell out for the horizontal because they counter the vert. Blip gets… big brother Tantrum? Yeah, they’re actually doing a same-team matchup. By the way, there’s a decent chance the loser of that fight is already on the outside looking in.

Witch Doctor vs. Fusion
Witch Doctor: 1-0 (W, KO 1:15 vs. Ribbot)
Fusion: 1-0 (W, JD 3-0 vs. Emulsifier)

Witch Doctor remains Witch Doctor, with a very convincing KO win over Ribbot, the runner-up beating the 2 seed. The long-delayed but finally done switch to brushless motors has been so far, so okay.

Fusion juuuuuust survived long enough to win the judges’ decision, because it lasted for three minutes. Or at least 2:51 before the smoking came in, but hey, it doesn’t matter if you cross the line on fire, as long as you cross it!

And it’s your fight of the week!

What a fight, and definitely could have gone either way. Since we see the decision, let’s just run mine over:

Damage: Witch Doctor lost their weapon, one tire, and half their plow. Fusion lost one of their two weapons but lost half their drive at the end. Like the judges, 3-2 Fusion. If the horizontal had also died that would have swung it to Witch Doctor in my eyes.
Control: Witch Doctor won control, but definitely not enough to make it 3-0. 2-1 it is!
Aggression: The split category, and I definitely have to give the majority to Witch Doctor because the vert went out about a minute in, and that’s where Witch Doctor ramped up the heat. Ergo, majority aggression, 2-1 Witch Doctor.

Witch Doctor wins by split decision in a Fight of the Year candidate. They’re 2-0 and face Gruff next. Fusion (1-1) gets HUGE.

Doomba vs. Double Tap
We have not seen either of these robots before, because they’re both alternates, not in the main field. So this is an exhibition with nothing really at stake, but hey, it’ll be fun.

Doomba is based on, well, as it says, a Roomba. It’s a little more advanced than that though, as it has a chainsaw! The chainsaw is functional btw. It also has an undercutter, but that’s not as fun. Chainsaw fun!

This was supposed to be a fight against Rusty Jr. for Doomba, but unfortunately Dave Eaton kept having problems, and problems, and… Rusty never made it into the arena. We’re not going to see Rusty this year. In its place (because otherwise the next fight had to go on and one of the teams wasn’t ready and then they would have had to forfeit) is Double Tap. Double Tap’s a cool concept. It’s an overhead bar spinner, but when it hits there are a pair of retractable pickaxes which continue spinning, unfurl, and hit again (hence the double tap). Now, it wasn’t quite there at this point, both in terms of not using that weapon for this fight and that the unfurling hadn’t been figured out just yet. So… for now it’s Single Tap.

So right along the beginning, yes, Doomba was armored for Rusty, but also Double Tap’s weapon was a perfect height for the top arm of Doomba. And it perfectly decapitated that top armor, which casually fell off. Double Tap took some time to get back in it, but the next hit was not much better as wires were leaking out of Doomba. Yeah, that’s it.

Double Tap wins by KO in 55 seconds.

Main Event: MadCatter vs. Riptide
MadCatter: 1-0 (W, KO 1:57 vs. Whiplash)
Riptide: 1-0 (W, KO 0:47 vs. Glitch)

So there’s some backstory to this one: Riptide is (essentially, I don’t know if officially) a scaled-up version of beetleweight champion Lynx, built by Calvin Iba. The driver for MadCatter. Calvin has some words about it, where yes, imitation is the best form of flattery, but sometimes it’s a little too on the nose I guess? Anyway, they managed to rip Whiplash a new one last time out.

To be honest that’s probably not the most egregious thing about Riptide from what I’ve read. Maybe third-most. The second-most would be that someone mentioned last year that one of the rookie teams outsourced their build, and that was definitely Riptide. The first-most is slightly more indirect, but Ethan Kurtz’s dad, Stan, has claimed to have “cured” his son’s autism with X, Y, Z, etc.. (Or, as it’s commonly known, snake oil.) And it’s very likely that that’s what’s funding the team.

The fourth thing is Ethan being mad about sharing Rookie of the Year status with Glitch last year. Listen, you guys made the quarters, but Glitch also did go 7-2. 7-1 if not for the having to withdraw. Arguments could have gone either way for how they did that year. But listen, you got the win, you can move on, right?

Anyway, both bots got to spin up, eventually meeting in the middle. MadCatter got the first exchange spinning Riptide away. MadCatter went for the back of Riptide but the eggbeater was able to whip around and counter, hitting MadCatter at an angle and loosening one of the forks. But MadCatter was still trying to come at it and corral.

But MadCatter found itself by the screws and Riptide took advantage. Riptide was able to come in and hit it into the screws area and continue the onslaught, flipping MadCatter around. Eventually Riptide stopped but that was because MadCatter was face-first into the wall behind the bumpers. Even with unsticks you’re not getting unstuck from that. Fight over.

Riptide wins by KO in 1:01 and there’s a moment during the post-fight interviews where they go to Martin Mason, and everyone’s currently talking about how Ethan Kurtz put his hand over Mason’s mouth during that. Now, this counts as a WW from me (Phil Rizzuto’s “wasn’t watching”) but from accounts, Martin Mason looked annoyed. So… add another thing to the pile, I guess.

Anyway, Riptide at 2-0 gets Captain Shrederator next, while MadCatter (1-1) gets Big Dill.

That does it for the week, and we’re all set for next week’s main event. Definitely no controversy there. Hydra-Tantrum? Nah.

See you next week!