INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER sits at his desk, staring off into space. Behind him we see the air begin to shimmer, and eventually it resolves into a two-dimensional portal through which we can see…
DJ 3000: HEY!
PRODUCER: [startled, turns around] What the hell? Oh! Wow! You’re back!
DJ 3000: I WISH. I’M STILL IN THE TIME LOOP.
PRODUCER: Oh. Then how are you…
DJ 3000: …GETTING INFORMATION OUT? IT’S COMPLICATED.
PRODUCER: Are you ever coming back? Or, I mean…forward?
DJ 3000: I’M WORKING ON IT. RIGHT NOW I’M TRYING BRUTE-FORCE INTO MY OWN ENCRYPTION PROTOCOLS SO I CAN OVERWRITE THE CODE GENERATION OF THE GOTO LOOP AND ADD A COUNTER. SO EVERY TIME THE LOOP RUNS I TRY AS MANY COMBINATIONS AS I CAN.
PRODUCER: But how do you know which combinations of the encryption key you’ve already done?
DJ 3000: I DON’T. I JUST HAVE TO RUN RANDOM COMBINATIONS EACH TIME. FORTUNATELY IT’S ONLY A 56-BIT DES ENCRYPTION, SO IT SHOULDN’T TAKE ALL THAT LONG. WHAT’S THE DATE OUT THERE?
PRODUCER: March 31st. Wait…why are you talking to me now? It’s been seven weeks since you got stuck in that thing. Why didn’t you just set this portal for a few minutes after the time loop started?
DJ 3000: BECAUSE TIME KEEPS MOVING OUTSIDE OF THE TIME LOOP BUBBLE. I DON’T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN, GO WATCH BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE, THEY COVER IT PRETTY WELL. ANYHOW THE SHOW MUST GO ON SO I FIGURED I’D SUBMIT A TOPIC FOR YOU AND IT’S ACTUALLY PERFECT FOR BEING APRIL FOOL’S DAY ADJACENT: SONGS YOU LOVE BY BANDS YOU HATE.
PRODUCER: How funny, it was just last week that we did “Songs You Love By Artists You Hate”.
DJ 3000: I SAW – I HAD THIS PORTAL UP AND RUNNING BACK THEN BUT IT WAS ONLY ONE-WAY SO I COULD ONLY RECEIVE INFORMATION, NOT TRANSMIT IT. ANYHOW, I GOTTA GET BACK TO TRYING TO BREAK THE ENCRYPTION.
PRODUCER: Cool, cool. Good luck. Before you go, have you got a song to start us out with?
DJ 3000: SURE DO. LOVE THIS BAND, FUCKING HATE THIS SONG.
Today’s theme is: Songs You Hate by Bands You Love. Basically, the reverse of last week’s topic. Since this is a pretty subjective topic, there won’t be a puzzle song. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pL3a53_5t0P_r4iN!n6” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.
[…] 3000: OH. THAT WAS THE NOTIFICATION THAT MY SUBROUTINE HAS FINALLY CRACKED THE ENCRYPTION FOR THE COMPILED PROGRAM THAT INCLUDES THE CLOCK […]
I like Bruce, but this one annoys me
https://youtu.be/boJhWtw-6Gg
I’ll go my grave saying that Paul’s Boutique is one of the greatest albums (albums?) of all time but this tune sucks balls.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acY2VSskD80&ab_channel=BeastieBoys-Topic
That funky monkey? I like it!
It’s a great ice cream but a lousy tune.
Ok, she’s a national treasure, and I know they were just trying something new, but yikes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCdS7O248g
I heard that this weekend on a rerun, (obviously), of Casey’s Top 40 from 1980. It was #1. Music in 1980 absolutely sucked balls.
I love the Ramones but this…isn’t good
https://youtu.be/oz7KYUkdlvE
I just wanna have some kicks
I just wanna get some chicks
C’mon, that’s poetry.
Maybe it was just the movie that made me hate it.
Agreed. I can’t stand it.
I don’t think I hate any Ramones songs, but this isn’t their best.
Brian Eno and Byrne took it a bit too far with this tune. The bassist Tina Weymouth (who had an axe to grind) said something along the lines of, “It was so obvious that the two had boy crushes on each other-the day they showed up to the studio dressed like twins-I couldn’t stop laughing.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6T_X7MXg40&ab_channel=TalkingHeads-Topic
I love U2 more than most, but this was some bullshit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF0rKW1DEMo&ab_channel=U2VEVO
They walked a fine line but this one crossed over for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWwG42jE-Cs&ab_channel=JoyDivision
Y’all have to tune into the Women’s Final Four just to see the amazing blouse that the coach of LSU is wearing. I think she thinks she’s at the Kentucky Derby or something.
Hopefully she breaks her leg and they treat her like one of the Derby horses. Absolute MAGA trash, that one.
I mean come on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNdcFPjGsm8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FInmRzLjIA4
She will have a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.
Wow, if it’s forbidden for us, it must be pretty bad! You aren’t dabbling in the kiddie porn again, are you?
Speaking of that, here’s something sucktacular from the Who!
https://youtu.be/wqPlb5PLBvg
Aw I love that song.
Now I feel bad, don’t tell the others
I wouldn’t say I hate it, but it’s definitely down in the rankings for me.
“Again” implies that he stopped at some point.
The Waterboys had a great run but there were some odd choices that were committed to vinyl. This is one of them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7V-1OuYL8U&ab_channel=Nard
[makes it through 13 seconds of the song before turning it off]
It gets worse…
I know that liking The Doors puts me in somewhat of a minority and disliking this song puts me in an even smaller one, but the heart doesn’t want what it doesn’t want.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV9DJwJKWMw
I like the Doors too.
That’s their only song I don’t immediately turn off.
I dig Siouxsie and the Banshees, but this song just annoys the shit out of me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGH_16SICL0
Nooooooo! I love that one. Peep show, creep show, where did you get those eyes?
Maybe it was just overplayed back in the day, but I don’t like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZlRX03BzeA
The album ended my love of The Police.
They consoled themselves by heating their homes with piles of $100 bills.
Double Shot! [in the back, as is their custom]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs&ab_channel=ThePoliceVEVO
It always made me laugh when people used this as their first wedding dance. It’s about a stalker, for fuck’s sake.
They were suffering from Born In The USA Syndrome. It afflicts terminally stupid people that think the repeating verse is the entire song.
I just never liked this song. Feel the same way about For Those About To Rock. Love the band, just don’t like those two.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WwJ6OVSwkM
I unabashedly love this song.
Also, I stopped maturing at about 11.
For Those About to Rock is fine, nothing great. I don’t like Thunderstruck all that much.
Ha, that’s my doubleshot
https://youtu.be/v2AC41dglnM
Husker Du is high on my list for best American bands of all-time, (is that another draft? Yes it is other Horatio, yes it is), and their album New Day Rising is an absolute masterpiece.
But Husker Du seemed to insist on alway putting one absolute piece of shit somewhere on every album, and on New Day Rising it was ‘How To Skin A Cat.’ Just total garbage.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qii5us2lB4
But did it at least provide useful instructions?
I would never do that to a cat.
There’s a couple of people who need to watch their step, though.
Late Genesis was just so meh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGI2d31M7Ns
Just no reason to have the word “late” in that sentence.
LAMB LIES DOWN ON BROADWAY IS AMAZING
Also Abacab.
This is one of the few choices that isn’t all that subjective. Genesis was a terrific band, and this song sucked out loud.
This song has so much cringe in it, I’m surprised it’s still available on YT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqQv3qef21A&ab_channel=Genesis
“No, no, no. It’s ok-we’ve got actual Mexicans in the video and they’re being paid scale!”
-Phil Collins, probably
Sure it was a big hit, but this sucks all the nads.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muhFxXce6nA
That’s simply not a Cheap Trick song and I will not hear arguments otherwise.
Glad they made a pile of money of off it; they were a great band.
The Hives
NOTHING 🥰
Which is also the amount of new albums since 2012 🤬
I’m not touching this one.
-overheard in the halls of the Orchids of Paradise massage parlor after watching Bob Kraft walk into room 3.
I’d make a TheSean joke but that guys needs his insides consumed by a chestburster.
Cmon man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn2z19QnEfQ
Not sure how you go from a magnificently angsty song about begging your asshole father for a vehicle so you can pressure a girl into fucking you in “Gimme the Car” to this trash, but the Femmes pulled it off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKzjTB_L6zw
If we ever do a “most over-rated band” mock draft, (and having written that, we will be!), the Femmes would be very high on my board.
That’d be a blue-chip pick. I’ve enjoyed their music but can definitely see a very strong argument for them being overrated.
One of my all time favorite bands with a clear case of a “We need a single” cash grab.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0voEf2JcNKE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wat_zEJ8vQA
This one makes me wanna give back shit I did’nt even steal.
Worst Black Sabbath song ever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KCu2MLMcPA
This one has Dork written all over it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLNicMINmS0
One of the worst album closers in history from a fantastic band. So awful, so unnecessary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhGzVyF5zxc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyK1bZZ7E-s
Stones be dabbling in some real nose pickin music right here…
[yawns]
More like the Lolling Drones, amirite?
I’m willing to hear arguments to the contrary, but imo The Stones after about 1975 were nothing special. Before that they’re absolute legends.
Amen. They should have thrown enormous piles of money at Mick Taylor, and begged him to stay. They put on a good live show, but other than some of Some Girls, the songs have been pure ass.
Exhibit A, ladies and gentlemen of the jury
https://youtu.be/qLpYpsDz4cQ
The Pietasters were probably my second-favorite ska band behind my first love, Spring-Heeled Jack. So you can imagine my delight upon hearing the deejay on WHFS announce a new song from the Pietasters (who rarely got any airplay whatsoever, even locally) turning to dismay as he gave this monstrosity a spin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykuh7QVpWg0