INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY/NIGHT/DAY/NIGHT/DAY/NIGHT/DAY…

DJ 3000 and various other robot entities remain trapped in a time loop inside the KDFO recording studio. DJ 3000 is fiddling with a complicated contraption of wires and lenses. The portal window into present time – which is normally about the size of manhole cover, or an omelette made to Coach Andy Reid’s specifications – has been shrunk down to the size of a Sacagawea dollar coin. 

DJ 3000: WHAT’S THE CURRENT READING?

MAXIMILIAN: NINETY-EIGHT POINT SEVEN FOUR BELOW NOMINAL.

PETUNIA: Is that good?

DJ 3000: IT’S…NOT BAD.  WE STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO, THOUGH.

JOHNNY 5: [rolls by] HEY GUYS WHAT’S GOING ON?

PETUNIA: We’re trying to shrink the portal.

JOHNNY 5: COME AGAIN? I THOUGHT WE’D BE TRYING TO MAKE IT LARGER SO WE COULD ALL FIT THROUGH.

JIM NANCE 081-RD-92C: We’re working on a new theory that Maximilian came up with.  The idea is to shrink the viewing portal to the present down to an infinitesimal size – a singularity – and then when it re-inflates we’ll all be pulled through and it will synthesize with the regular universe on the far side.  Kind of like squeezing through the center of a figure eight.

JOHNNY 5: HUH. IS IT WORKING?

DJ 3000: SORT OF. WE’RE DEFINITELY MAKING PROGRESS.

CUT TO: The far side of the recording studio, where RQBOCOP and JOHN DIMAGGIO are playing catch with a miniature football with the station’s logo.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: This is a real treat, Mr. Manning.  I never thought I’d get to play catch with an NFL quarterback.

RQBOCOP: THIS EXPERIENCE IS ENJOYABLE FOR ME AS WELL.

PED-209: [storms into frame] HALT THIS UNAUTHORIZED THROWING ACTIVITY IMMEDIATELY AND SURRENDER THE OFFENDING OBJECT. YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO COMPLY.

JOHN DIMAGGIO:  What are you talking about ‘unauthorized’? Is there some rule that says we can’t throw a miniature football around?

PED-209: NINE…EIGHT…

YETI: Oh, he just wants to be included.  Give it here.

RQBOCOP tosses the ball to YETI.

YETI: You want the ball, PED-209? Here you go…

YETI holds the ball out towards the unit, who reaches for it.

YETI: Ha ha, googley moogley! Just kidding! Keep away!

YETI tosses the ball to JOHN DIMAGGIO.  PED-209 lumbers towards him and JOHN DIMAGGIO hurriedly throws the ball to RQBOCOP.  RQBOCOP passes it in the direction of RUSSELL WILSON, but there isn’t enough zip on the ball and PED-209 manages to reach out and knock the ball off course.  It careens off a desk and bounces right into the contraption that DJ 3000 and the others are fiddling with. There is a series of electrical popping noises, the burning smell of ozone, and suddenly there is a giant flash of white that fills the room. As the light fades, the robots closest to the portal come back online.

DJ 3000: [who is now 1/10 of his original size] OH GODDAMNIT, YOU IDIOTS!

PETUNIA: You morons.

MAXIMILIAN: [sighs]

JOHNNY 5: [who wasn’t quite as close to the portal as the others, is only shrunk to about 50% of his regular size.] THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.

DJ 3000: AND WE DON’T EVEN HAVE A THEME FOR REQUEST LINE YET.

RUSSELL WILSON: [who is normal size, thanks to being in the bathroom at the time] I’ve got one – how about “Things That Are Small”?

JOHN DIMAGGIO: [snickers]

DJ 3000: OH, FUCK YOU.  BUT YES, RUN IT.  SOMETHING FOR THE BACKGROUND SO I CAN THINK OF A WAY TO GET THINGS BACK TO NORMAL.

Today’s theme is: Small Things.  We’re looking for songs about things that are small, tiny, little, etc.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH4t_N0W?” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer “Taking R-Tards to the Zoo” which fittingly took about forty attempts before BeefRiverLives finally got it.  Happy Cinco de Mayo!