Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Make sure the important people in your life know they are important before it’s too late [in bed].
Robert Tew

This is kinda ominous and weird all at the same time. Like why is it going to be too late in bed. Late for what? Slept in late or passed away late? And why are we letting these important people know from bed?

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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BeefReeferLives

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Redshirt

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Chelski – the perfect tonic for any and all Lesser ailments.
King Hippo

Liz Truss’s government was more organizized than that.
WCS

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Me: “I hate the Leafs! I’ll cheer for any other team.”

Other Me: “How about a team from Florida?”

Me: “Uh, come on, really?”

Other Me: “Yeah.”

Me: “Son Of A Bitch!”

Other Me: “You really don’t like me very much, do you?”

Me: “You said it, brother.”
scotchnaut

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Ok, if I were to make a cocktail….suggestions?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Three parts cock, one part tail.”

-Buddy
scotchnaut

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There’s nothing wrong with an older quarterback.

-Chris Weinke, sobbing in front of his mirror
BrettFavresColonoscopy

/Brandon Weeden reaches for a comforting embrace
//is intercepted
WCS

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Any parents of youngish kids need a laugh?

I saw a funny. I will enjoy Hell.

LongtimeLionsLoser

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I think the Pats did well drafting Christian Gonzalez; they have a good track record developing Hispanic players.
SonOfSpam

Certainly worth another shot.
Horatio Cornblower

I appreciate the blunt honesty from both of you.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Give them enough rope and they’ll leave a lasting impression.
scotchnaut

They might hang themselves with this one…
LongtimeLionsLoser

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So it’s only taken about 6 weeks, but my family has made our feral bunny into a snob.

He now drags the romaine lettuce into his house and eats it, but the strawberries and tomatoes stay outside and can fuck off to him.

The are starving bunnies in China that don’t get fresh strawberries, Bun Bun (oh wait, bunnies in China are probably appetizers)!

LongtimeLionsLoser

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“A man on Tuesday was sentenced to life in prison without parole in the killing of three people during a potluck dinner at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church… Neither Anthony nor the prosecutor’s office said they knew why Smith opened fire that night.”

Three words: German Potato Salad
BeefReeferLives

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I don’t really care about any Halls of Fame, let alone the Rock one, but I’m still a little bitter that Warren Zevon didn’t make it in.
Dunstan

Listen, ELP isn’t in, prog rock gets basically no love, so fuck ’em.
Senor Weaselo

THIS GUY DUNSTAN, I CALL HIM THE LOMBARDI TROPHY, BECAUSE HE AIN’T EVER GOING TO CLEVELAND
Dunstan

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I work remotely and our system has gone completely tits up. No one can do anything. Looks like a day off.
Horatio Cornblower

You mean “Looks like a day spent diligently* trying to get back onto the company’s system, and not use any PTO time.” Right?

*not trying at all
LemonJello

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Editor
May 5, 2023 12:52 pm
Bud Light’s revenue is down 21% since the incident with the “trans can.” Miller and Coors sales are up 21%, because after all the human body cannot survive without water.

Also, this:

Horatio Cornblower

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BeefReeferLives

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Don T

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Highballs is also what the dwarf calls Horatio
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Goddammit.
Horatio Cornblower

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I’ve had a week, so I’m getting drunk on pilsners while WineWife watches 80s Dolly Parton movies. We’ve gone from “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” to “Steel Magnolias”.

The 16 year-old bottle of Glen Grant awaits when “9 to 5” kicks in.
Beerguyrob

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Our neighbors are hosting a coronation party at 530 am Eastern.

Can we bring back the Alien and Sedition Acts?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

What is it called when two female members of a royal family have sex?

Princest.
LongtimeLionsLoser

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You know, I think it was pretty damn rude of the Brits to try to upstage our century and a half old tradition with their silly “coronation.” They clearly have no respect for history.
Gumbygirl

They must’ve been attracted by all the long faces and inbreeding.
herodotus450

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There is a great garden center a 20 minute drive north of us. FIL always went there, best selection best quality around. I buy plants maybe when I retire I’ll give growing from seed a try but right now I just don’t have the time. I planted my usual stuff. Moderate inflation this year, but not too bad. I spent 70 euros for this. On the left top to bottom, 6 celery, 4 zucchini. Center top to bottom, 6 eggplant, 6 yellow bell pepper, 6 red bell pepper, 8 mild pepper (wifey), 3 basil bushes. In planters (some not visible) 4 cucumber, 2 parsley, 3 strawberry. Right top to bottom, 6 salad tomato, 6 cherry red tomato, 6 cherry orange tomato, 6 red cabbage. Remaining from previous years, rosemary, sage, thyme, chives and 4 vases of strawberries.

2Pack

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My wife kept telling me to treat her like a princess.

So I ceded control of her to an old guy she’s never met to secure an alliance with the Portuguese.
LongtimeLionsLoser

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Royal-adjacent joke:

Men develop a type based on their favorite Disney princess. This is how I know this to be empirically true:

I had a friend who was really into Cinderella and he exclusively dates blonde women. Another loved snow white and is married to a woman with obsidian black hair. I was really into The Little Mermaid and that’s why I am not allowed into the Fish Market anymore.
LongtimeLionsLoser

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I just got back from seeing Eldest granddaughter play her final performance with the high school jazz band. She graduates next month.

That girl can absolutely rip the fucking bass. Holy shit she KILLED it.

I asked her mom, “Where did she learn the thumb slap?”

“She made it up herself.”

Fierce shit and 3 solos. She was absolutley the best on stage and everyone in the crowd was saying “That girl can play the bass!”

Seriously proud moment.
yeah right

Makes note to take “Yeah Right’s Eldest Granddaughter” #1 in upcoming Bass Players Mock Draft.
Horatio Cornblower

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True Story Time:

There is a bar in the Ottawa market area called The Lafeyette. (The Laff) It was established way back in 1849. Every Xmas Eve they would have an “Orphan Night” for servers/bartenders that either had no family or couldn’t get back to their clan. You had to get there by 7pm and after that the doors would be locked. It was a complete free-for-all. Snorting lines on the table and heating knives and doing the hash thingy in the kitchen was par for the course. I was there for two consecutive years and my lasting memory is the poster of Rambo that had tinsel around the borders.
scotchnaut

There’s an excellent chance you partied with Rob Ford.
WCS

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Found a funny: They decided not to issue new stamps with King Charles on them because people were spitting on the wrong side.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Breakfast has always been my weakest suit. Albert Burneko’s old Foodspin pieces were invaluable to me in my early married days. Sunday Gravy has been such a fantastic progression in terms of broadening my food tastes. The combination of Albert’s columns, my kitchen employment history, and the advent of Amazon.com and international food markets popping up everywhere allow me to really attack any Sunday Gravy recipe that interests me with no fear. And your encouraging tone and excellent complimentary prose/photo work make for a really high first-time success rate for me. Thanks as always for all your hard work, my brother. A pleasure to read!
Fronkenshteen

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Can Horatio spread out some of those vacation days so none of us have to go back to work tomorrow?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Folks, it may be May, but it’s still the season to Release the Kraken.

Mr. Ayo

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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