Carpentering a Post about a carpenter

Sorry for the lateness.  I have described my job as explaining simple concepts to simple people.  You can guess how that goes, especially as the people are in another country (which I shall not name) but today involved me being dragged in to complete some documentation which I worked on all day, only to be told around 5 that, what I had been told to do was wrong and what I was actually supposed to do was something completely different.  FML, same shit, different day.

Anyway, as I was stoned out of my mind the other night I read a post by Dr. Zymm, I think it was, which lead to my thoughts about the holy trinity and also God’s relationship to Jesus, thoughts that if I was Catholic would get me excommunicated and the secret Inquisition called out on my heretic ass.  So God rapes Mary (making him sound more like Zeus, but Christians never, never plagiarize), Jesus is born, and yadda yadda yadda.  My thoughts from there lead to the concept of the 3 in 1 (God, Jeebus, and the Holy Spirit), so if God is Jesus and Jesus is God, then isn’t God a motherfucker as he fucked his own mom so he can have her give birth to him?  As I said, I was really stoned at the time.  The next thought was about the holy spirit, where the fuck did he come in to all of this.  I think the holy spirit is just a misunderstanding or maybe a mistranslation.  What if they meant being infused with the holy spirit was actually supposed to be they meant was they did things in a holy way, you know, you are happy and you do something in a cheerful spirit, like Christmas where we celebrate the motherfucker being born, where people go around with the Christmas spirit.  So instead of the 3 in one we have just the one.  So Jesus was just God pretending to be young and hip to spread his new more loving view point, because between you and me, the old god was a hateful, vengeful asshole.

This kept me up all night, even after the high wore off.  Maybe I should just stick to characters that burn heretics and kill those unlike themselves, wait a minute…….