Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
When you love someone, you love the person as they are and not as you’d like them to be [in bed].
Leo Tolstoy
Uh, I guess no more fantasy’s.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Anges Skinner. [ from the bad mother draft]
BeefReeferLives
Patsy Ramsey seemed bad for some reason
SonOfSpam
GODDAMMIT
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Fucking work held me up, I had everything set to make this pick.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
The whole point of the Monday Morning Mock Draft is to interfere with work, so you get no sympathy points here. Get your priorities in order and your picks in; that meeting can wait.
Horatio Cornblower
Because you all love these updates…
Ohtani: Home run, triple, and 2 singles. Almost became the first starting pitcher to hit for the cycle.
And in a mild upset, the Angels actually won the game.
SonOfSpam
Ayo, rn (artist’s conception)
WCS
Mr. Ayo
Rewatching Airplane! for the millionth time because it’s awesome. You might be reassured to know that airplane crew aren’t all allowed to have the same meal, so this couldn’t really happen in real life. Also, they haven’t served meals on LAX-ORD since the 80’s anyway.
Doktor Zymm
I said go, go, go little Queenie…
2Pack
So you’re saying you’re not #Up4Whatever?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
(Not to be confused with Balls’s idea for a new reality dating show where everyone stays blindfolded but still fucks each other, couples rotated based on a spin of a wheel, #Up4Twatever)
BrettFavresColonoscopy
This exists. I saw it on Pornhub!
ballsofsteelandfury
Well then I’m scaring myself because I thought I was making it up!
BrettFavresColonoscopy
“Oh, I saw it somewhere else!” “Oh, I thought I was making it up” “No officer I don’t know how this dead hooker wound up in my trunk.”
Neither of you are fooling anyone.
Horatio Cornblower
Quebec will never happen. CAD isn’t strong at the moment, and it will throw off the conference alignment. It’ll be Houston. Welcome back Aeros! At least the logo is pretty badass
Sharkbait
“Personally I like it but I’m worried that it’ll give my son nightmares.” – Olivia Manning
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“I love Oreos!”
-Lea Michelle
LemonJello
Horatio Cornblower
Coyotes should just move to Moscow. It’s only slightly less anti-NATO than Central AZ.
blaxabbath
Not sure Idaho can support a pro team.
Mr. Ayo
My shower has claimed yet another spider that thought it was a great place to put a web. This one had a fighting chance, as it put the web at the front of the tub, leaving it a wedge of air through which to climb up and away from the rushing torrent of water. However, instead of going that direction, it instead chose to scramble further into the tub where it swiftly got swept away and crushed against the drain guard. RIP spider, your instincts are stupid and wrong.
Doktor Zymm
I think the loftiest tribute I can give to tWBS is drunkenly throwing a can of beer at my neighbor Friday night and missing badly.
scotchnaut
I have my monthly poker tournament this Friday night. To honor tWBS I will go all in with a 9-4 off-suit.
Horatio Cornblower
Triple OT? Guess I should put it in. Go
Sharkbait
“Guess I should put it in”
Horatio Cornblower
“Well you see I have, had, this friend named Seamus. Well actually I didn’t really know him, I guess, in fact, I’m not sure Seamus was even his real name. He might have been a baby–but anyway, why don’t we get out of here?”
-Me trying to talk to the nearest hot Vet Tech
herodotus450
I probably shouldn’t have started drinking and thinking about tWBS.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
He was really nice to me when I first showed up. So was Viva. I miss them both.
Gumbygirl
Making bad decisions is the best way to honor tWBS
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Evening. RIP to our friend, tWBS. I’ll probably have one more beer in his honor.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Just poured a rye. I don’t have it in me to break out the ghost pepper vodka I made with his peppers. Yes, I still have some, and yes it is still just as hot.
Sharkbait
For when you REALLY want to have hangover diarrhea, just with an added helping of pain?
King Hippo
Ha not quite. I’ve really only used it for Brazen Bulls and Bloody Marys.
Sharkbait
Brazen Bulls was the name of the house band at Buddy’s last orgy.
litre_cola
Four years yesterday, according to my phone.
Some Yinzer a-hole and Seamus. Taken in National Harbor, MD during the PGA Championship.
[This is my second most favourite DFO pic, second only to balls ( i think) in the puffy blue jacket]
WCS
I gotta be honest, if you told me one of these two guys was going to get a princess pregnant…
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
One of the hardest things to describe about Seamus was despite the fact that he could be a tremendous asshole, and he could do that! He was one of the most unselfish persons I’ve ever known.
Opinionated, loud, goofy to a fault but he was loving, caring and a perfect example of what this country could be if this country wasn’t so focused on being an asshole.
If you look at the date of his death and the circumstance it explains everything.
He knew he was having major health issues but this was the very beginning of the pandemic and there was no way in HELL he was going to the hospital to possibly get infected with something he could bring home to his elderly mom.
The man literally gave his life to protect his mom.
Love you Mark. Peace be with you my brother. I’ll smoke one tomorrow night in your honor.
yeah right
Rhonda Santis fucked with The Mouse. Now he’s finding out. I love it.
“TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Walt Disney Co. officially called off plans Thursday to develop a $1 billion complex in Orlando as the entertainment giant continues to clash with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis.
The move, announced by chair of Disney’s parks Josh D’Amaro in a note to staff, nixes the possibility of some 2,000 Disney workers relocating to Florida as part of a plan that has been in the works for years…”
BeefReeferLives
Ron DeSantis making the Disney Corporation look like an underdog hero is frankly an astonishing accomplishment.
Horatio Cornblower
If anyone has any advice on successfully rimming glasses, please let me know.
Hey Balls, here’s a topic for you…oh, he wants advice on rimming GLASSES. Sorry, never mind.
SonOfSpam
So I’ve got good news and bad news….
The good? I’ve convinced my roommate/parental figure to cut the cord on cable.
The bad? I didn’t expect him to turn in the cable boxes so quick, no I have access to play off sports
Brocky
Sexy Friday‽ Interrobang!
Gumbygirl
As far as the speed/power combo at running back is concerned, the only guy that came close to Brown was Earl Campbell in his rookie year.
scotchnaut
I think the Earl Campbell Oilers were the team most people enjoyed watching the best, when their own team wasn’t playing.
At least it was for me. They made the 1p NBC window in North Cakalaky quite often.
King Hippo
It’s too bad that Houston never got another team after they left.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Awesome todbit from a reporter’s account of his recent trip back to Kyiv:
“I saw one woman with a tote bag that read, “Sex is cool, but Putin’s death is better.”
King Hippo
Does the Nottingham Forest locker room have a regular-size toilet or a little john?
SonOfSpam
I’m about 50-50 whether Hippo is talking about real soccer or the bits and bots of his Soccer Manager future league [ i was going to specify which post\article this was from for context and then realised that it doesn’t matter, but it’s from the Saturday morning post]
herodotus450
I was always partial to this
Sharkbait
Can you clear a Facebook history, because my feed is going to a dark place.
Redshirt
I had forgotten that TWBS liked to spell fuck with a q.
ballsofsteelandfury
Dafuq? You forgot?
Senor Weaselo
I still appreciate my very last day with Seamus. We hit a sativa vape while walking down Hollywood blvd – in bright goddamn daylight in front of God and everybody – trying hard not to step on Greta Garbo while wandering between bars.
It was a gorgeous day when we did the Hollywood subway pub crawl.
That’s a hell of a coda on our brotherhood.
Skol my brother.
yeah right
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
I only got 9-4 off suit once the entire tournament, and it was not at a point where going all in would have done anything. And I was looking.
Pretty sure Seamus had a hand in shuffling he cards just to piss me off.
He did, and the rest of the week, you’ll hit every green light on yinz commute, because that’s Seamus.
And Essendon pulls off the miracle finish to get the win against…a 3-5 team and get back to .500.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-ZN830Ekbk
Not gonna lie, this is exactly how I felt in 1995-1997 when the Bungals somehow pulled a string of 7-9, 8-8 and 7-9 seasons out of their ass.
you bastard
https://www.nfl.com/_amp/nfl-owners-pass-rule-to-place-ball-25-yard-line-fair-catch-kickoff
Goodell: “This should eliminate those evil kickoff returns. Mwhahahahaha!!!!”
(five months later)
Announcer: “Here’s yet another squib kick to the 15 yard line.”
How about this? The kicking team has the option to kick or just give the receiving team the ball at the 25 yard line. If they choose to kick, they can get a point by kicking it through the uprights. If they try and fail, the opponent gets the ball at the…let’s say 40 yard line. But the opponent must actually gain possession of the ball for that (i.e. catch it) so that onsides kicks are still in play.
If we could spike the rules committee with that good blue meth, we could make these dreams a reality.
“…and if a team calls ‘side of coin’ at the cointoss and is right, all their scores will be doubled, but if they loses, their opponent’s points will be doubled.”
Eliminate kickoff out of bounds penalty. Ball spotted where it went out of bounds…but kickoff that goes out on the sideline of the endzone goes to to 40. Gives them a risk to coffin cornering.
That sounds fun but would probably result in kickers aiming for the fifteen yard line and essentially being touchbacks most of the time.
I’ve got a crazy idea, move the kickoff line back further and then require 5 yards around the receiver making the catch