Enjoy your nap? GOOD. Because it’s time to up our couch potato game, yo.
Ballsy: I’m back! At first, I was going to complain about the distinct lack of West/Best Coast games in Hippo’s write-up, but then I realized that there aren’t any.
Seriously, it’s Washington-Arizona and that will be over by the first quarter.
LSU (-2.5) at Ole Miss (6:00, ESPN)
I love me some staggered kickoff times, even if it means running the night thread early. Sun is already setting earlier, you know? Can Johnny Reb FERGET HAYELL the disappointment in Tuscaloosa, and muddle up Brian Kelly’s path to the SEC West title? MAYBE.
Ballsy: What is it about SEC cheerleaders looking up?
Iowa State (+20) at Oklahoma (7:00, FS1)
To hell with logic, I have an itch in my gut about this matchup. Cornpone State can turn this one into a slog, and there’s no question Steerfuckers North is looking ahead to next week’s Derby. All the elements of an upset, or at least near-upset are there. OK, maybe it’s just gas. I am 50, after all.
Ballsy: Hey, I’m over 50 and my gas is delightful! I don’t know what you’re eating…
Michigan State (+11.5) at Iowa (7:30, NBC)
Highlighted mostly to note that NBC paid money – pretty big money – to air turds like this in primetime. First team to 2 wins.
Ballsy: Wait, why the fuck would NBC pay good any money to air medium-scale Big Ten games? Notre Dame ain’t going there…
West By God Virginia (+14) at TCU (8:00, ESPN2)
I had very much tuned out on BLOOD FOAR THE BLOODEYES GOD after they lost their opener to Deion Sanders. But they’ve three wins on the spin, and welcome a pluckier-than-recent-vintage Fuckers du Cousins squadron. With their defense, I expect the visitors to hang around and maybe even steal one late.
Ballsy: WCS will be watching this closely. If TCU pulls ahead, expect a royal decree outlawing the color purple.
Alabama (-14.5) at Mississippi State (9:00, ESPN)
Oh, this is danger central. Cowbells have not looked good offensively, I get it. But they CAN defend, and I am not sure at all that Roll Damn Tide have fixed their shit. A few turnovers, and this upset could very much be in play. This is also as close as one gets for Tweaker Time…which is good, given everyone’s MANDATORY duties starting 9:30 EST Sunday.
Ballsy: Seriously, go to bed early tonight. There’s nothing to watch. Or get drunk and ramble on here. I’m not your supervisor.
Redshirt. I think u should come to the darkside. Become a futbol fan. Your team is fuxking good.
My last haul from the Alpine Village Market in Torrance CA before they closed forever. The sausage counter selection was amazing and everything was made in-house. I always liked looking at the wide diversity of the customers as I waited in line, most of them not even close to German but definitely avid lovers of delicious sausages.
We had a DFO SoCal summit here a few years back, at the Alpine Village Restaurant across from the market.
This year will be the first Oktoberfest without the Alpine Village.
I love that place.
We had sauerbraten.
I drove you home.
It’s gone now.
But we’re still here.
Yes we are.
We need another SoCal summit. I nominate Hollywood (central to most of us) and go to Yamashiro or Musso & Franks. Drinks at Legion Post #43 next to the Hollywood Bowl.
Or even better: get into the Main Castle for dinner and a show, and that takes a little doing; you don’t just show up you have to be invited. I could pull that off if there were confirmed participants.
Magic Castle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5NxBAYlGZQ&ab_channel=UniqueSound
Still not entirely sure what that was aside from a Pyrrhic victory. 4-1 (2-0) is good, though.
Speaking of southern states and “flight”, I always thought that North Carolina’s state slogan made it sound like they were inveterate cowards; always the first to turn tail and run.
The slogan refers to the Wright Brothers’ historic first flight at Kitty Hawk NC. The graphic up at the top is their first aircraft, the “Wright Flyer.”
Tarheel (the original, not the dumbass chuckle fucks in Chapel Hill) do not run.
Which is ironic, since the origin of “Tar Heels” is that they stood the line during the Revolution and refused to run, as though their heels were stuck in tar.
In the Civil War, North Carolina infantry were some of the most steadfast of them all. They didn’t run.
This site is a great follow on the horrible bird site.
https://twitter.com/ArtButSports/status/1708288060436222086
Great win for West Virginia there.
Gordon Gee is celebrating by cutting the English, History, and Political Science departments.
TEH BIBLE is the only book y’all need, and JEEBUS can tell yew how to galdurn read it!
So you’re saying that Gordon G. is…Adding It Up?
Did…y’all just try to Dry Leon Lett that thing??
Take me home, country roads!
strike up the jug band!
What is a JV tackle?
There’s no better act out there right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOVg7BtevYU
About seven WVU players will make the flight home healthy.
Flight? They have an airport in West Virginia?
They rent out some flat space behind the meth depot.
Well it’s just a flat piece of land where the filled over an abandoned coal mine
This is actually correct.
These days they just take the top half of the mountain off and push it into the valley bellow. Scrape off the coal. Put a strip mall up there on the new flat ground if you’re close enough to a town to make it worthwhile.
Also correct.
Taking off in a 737 from Yeager Airport in Charleston is fuckin’ scary. You go off the end of the runway and you’re in the holler below. As for Huntington, we know what the deal is there.
Chuck Yeager could take off from there easy, man.
24-21… lead?
On to The Penix Mightier against Gronkowski U
“We were planning on moving Notre Dame up to #9 either way, but this is certainly the more preferable pathway.” – BCS ranking committee
Shaping up to be another classic WVU cat box dump.
But illustrates why you go for it at the 1. Just needed one first down the next possession to get the same FG you “gave up” in the first place.
“Duke’s quarterback is down, I hope he’s alright . . .”
I haven’t seen a Duke shit the bed like that since [obscure reference to a sixteenth-century British noble].
I do not think Riley Leonard is gonna play next week. At a minimum his ankle, might be his knee as well.
To hell you go Blue Devils
“Heartbreak among the Duke fans”
“If your erection lasts longer than 4 hours, consult your physician.”
Yeah, there’s definitely a silver lining here.
x2
More like NO-tre Dame amirite?
Never, EVER trust Duke to do a good for humanity.
Nothing good for humanity is coming out of this game.
which is really what humanity deserves
Shaking my pill bottle in honoUr of Fuckers du Cousins (aka – the West Virginia mating call)
Redneck sub:
Some Russians on the beach here had full snorkels that lioked like a gas mask or something from space. Very peculiar.
Notre Dame tackles ball carriers the same way they tackle rape allegations. Just sort of wave at it as it goes away.
Someone needs to force-feed Garrett Greene Xanax and Percocet.
Calm the shit down, kid.
So I’m sitting here and our upstairs neighbor came down, she’s the one with the stompy kids and she just needed to talk.
Alright.
She’s here for an hour giving me the life story and it was fine.
She got to talk. A lot.
And as she was leaving I got to tell her maybe don’t put on your shoes until you’re walking out the door since we’ve got hard wood floors and shit.
Having converted to a shoeless household I cannot imagine ever going back.
So much less vacuuming.
Duke getting the benefit of calls at home!? That never happens!!
ND player disqualified for targeting, for attempting to injure himself. WEIRD>
Listen, ABC (on ESPN). We need to talk about this Duke logo. You have sized and positioned just right so I think Duke always has 11 points. This is obviously not possible because they suck.
I’m slowly developing PTSD from not being able to edit. I’m getting very trigger shy with each new post.
Just kidding, I’m looking forward to every new and inexplicable error.
Go Birds.