Old men don’t stay up late to slurp champagne this evening. What they do is get up early and write game intros. And complain. They like to complain. Why wasn’t the excellent Fins/Ravens game flexed to Sunday night? Vikes/Packers instead of a balls-out contest? And another thing-no teams are on bye and yet there are still only three games in the late window. There. Done.
To The Games!
Fins/Ravens:
This is only the 4th time that the #1 defense and offense have met each other this late in the season since the merger way back when. Let’s hide it among ten other games in the same time slot. By the way, the top offense won three of the four tilts. And to top things off Miami’s D has slowly come together-they’re #1 in EPA since week 8.
Pats/Bills:
Buffalo has been up and down this year but they are 12-1 in divisional home games lately. Old Bill has never lost 12 games in a season until roughly 3:35-ish EST today. Expect Diggs to do well, he averages 10+ targets vs New England.
Falcons/Bears:
Atlanta thinks there’s no place like home because they can’t score on the road. When visiting they put up a paltry 13.6 points and back in the nest they’re good for 23. Thanks to having Carolina’s pick it doesn’t much matter what Chicago does-they have a 95+% chance of getting the first overall. So say your goodbyes to Fields.
Raiders/Colts:
Indy’s 4th-ranked pass D does a great job at shutting down the opposing team’s best wr. They’ve not given up 100 yards to any one guy since week 8. Since Coach Pierce showed up the focus has been on stopping the run and in the majority of tilts they’ve kept teams from reaching that 100 yard mark.
Panthers/Jags:
P. Girlfriend came to what was left of his senses and pulled out of this game. Apparently his injured shoulder was a question of pain management but the larger question should be, “Why the hell would I risk my most valuable asset against Carolina of all teams?”
Titans/Texans:
Can Stroud pick up where he left off? If Houston gets the W they’re in the post-season, something that no one anticipated, least of all their non-existent fans. To get there two of Nico, Schultz and Brown need to show up. The Titans have been a model of consistency-this would be their worst showing since 2015.
Rams/Giants:
Los Angles sit in the 6th spot and need to put the Giants to bed because next week they get the Niners and things would get dicey. I’m sure New York will be accommodating.
Cards/Eagles:
Can Philly get back on track? No, winning against the Giants doesn’t mean the ship is shape. They just can’t seem to execute very well and they’re giving up big pass plays on the regular.
Saints/Bucs:
Though Tampa is only at 8-7 they can clinch the South with a win. Doesn’t seem quite right but they went on a spree at exactly the right time. Evans has put in yet another ridiculous season but hasn’t gone for 100 vs New Orleans since 2018.
Niners/Commies:
Chase Young Revenge Game narrative? Consider it engaged. There’s some yakking about Brissett possibly not being able to go because he popped up on the injury report with a hammy. With 2 TD’s McCaffrey will tie Rice’s team record of 23. (although the latter did it in 12 games which is insane) Deebo and Aiyuk should feast given that the Washington D has nothing left in the tank.
Start typing.
Bears… do good?
Holy shit Rams! It didn’t have to be that exciting.
2013 Miami Dolphins (Artistic Interpretation)
Great, now I’m hungry
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
Practice squad tight ends now TD-ing for Baltimore.
I am legit tipsy! I guess nawt drinking for about a week then quickly drinking 3 8.3% beers will do that
https://twitter.com/BurnerTypical/status/1741564302551642579
…did we ever figure out whatever happened to whyeagleswhy?
He’s in Australia
TANK COMPLETE! TANK FIELD MARSHALL JUSTIN ZHUKOV FIELDS AND THE BEARS HAVE CLINCHED THE NUMBER ONE OVERALL PICK!
First he wins The Voice and now he’s the backup QB in Balmer? Way to go Huntley!