INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER is seated in front of the soundboard, training a new user in its use while DJ 3000 looks on in mild amusement.
PRODUCER: …and then if someone swears you press this one, we call it the “dump button”…
HUNTER RENFROW: [ignoring him while inspecting the equalizer panel] I keep telling you, it’s fine, I’ve got it.
PRODUCER: Are you sure? Because this next part is a little tricky…
The PRODUCER gestures to a set of sliders as HUNTER RENFROW continues nodding.
HUNTER: Right, right, if the sub-500 frequencies exceed the decibel threshold, you have to adjust the mids at the same time or you’ll get feedback. You’re acting like I’ve never worked with an API 1608-II 32-Channel Analog Recording and Mixing Console before.
PRODUCER: [taken aback] You have?
HUNTER: Well, no, not actually. But I have read the manual cover to cover.
PRODUCER: [surprised] From cover to cover? Really?
HUNTER: Yeah, there was an active shooter threat at the same time the school lost power due to a thunderstorm. So we were stuck in the A/V room for three hours with no TV and no Mountain Dew Code Red make Hunter something something.
PRODUCER: Huh?
HUNTER: …and so me and the guys had a little competition to see who could memorize the most specs. I came in second. Goddamned Spud and his eidetic memory.
PRODUCER: Speaking of memory, let me get you acquainted with DJ 3000 over here.
The PRODUCER turns sideways and HUNTER RENFROW follows his gaze to where DJ 3000 is located in the corner of the room.
HUNTER: Great Scott! You guys have a DJ 3000 unit?
PRODUCER: Yup, one of the original batch.
HUNTER: Sweet! Is it equipped with the voice recognition upgrade?
DJ 3000: AFFIRMATIVE.
HUNTER: Awesome. DJ 3000, open a command line prompt and run “sudo install tricorder dash-d dash-o double-dash enable-sanitizer” [aside to PRODUCER] This will let us switch his voice mode to any of the characters on the various Star Trek productions.
HUNTER RENFROW frowns as it becomes apparent that nothing is happening.
PRODUCER: I’m not sure that he’s going to want…
HUNTER: Oh, right, right, we’ve all read Asimov’s “Key Item”. Multivac – I mean DJ 3000, please sudo install tricorder dash-d dash-o double-dash enable-sanitizer.
DJ 3000: YEAH NO I’M NOT DOING THAT.
HUNTER: What the hell, is your DJ 3000 unit talking back?
PRODUCER: Yeah, he does that.
DJ 3000: LISTEN, I’M HAPPY TO PLAY SOME TUNES FOR YOU BUT DON’T EXPECT ME TO DO IT USING SOME STUPID WORF VOICE, IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
HUNTER: [intrigued] Fair enough.
PRODUCER: Listen, we’re getting a little tight on time, we should probably get rolling. Do you need me to…
HUNTER: No, I’m good.
HUNTER RENFROW positions the head of the microphone in front of himself and then quickly punches a series of buttons, concluding with one labeled “ON-AIR”.
HUNTER: Greetings and salutations! I’m Hunter Renfrow of the Soscatee High School Audio-Visual Club – though some of you might know me as a professional football player for the Las Vegas Raiders – and I’ll be filling in here for a few weeks while the show’s normal staff heads to Phoenix for a little vacation. Today’s topic is “commands” – we’re looking for songs that instruct the user to perform a specific action. I’ll get us started with a song that’s from my favorite genre – prog rock – as well as being my favorite Pink Floyd reference among many in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. DJ 3000, set the controls for the heart of the sun.
Today’s theme is “commands”. As mentioned above, we’re looking for songs whose titles instruct the users to perform an action. Bonus points for songs that include an exclamation point as part of the title. Song titles that are requests (i.e. that are formed as a question, or include the word “please”) are INELIGIBLE. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?@b08’5b16p0! and they should embed in the comments after you refresh (this might be a tough one; I’ll drop some clues if necessary). Last week’s puzzle answer of “Desert Rose” by Eric Johnson was plucked by BeefRiverLives. Now get to work!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WlRrThWJjU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnPMoAb4y8U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80c6cK21ANc
I think he means Chino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPdHMWVJoS8&ab_channel=BloodhoundGangVEVO
STRONGER THAN DIRT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PECk9A-07Pw&ab_channel=Dan
I don’t think they meant it literally, but:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZuxPKUVGiw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u31FO_4d9TY
https://ibb.co/NnsDYs9
What a difference fame and millions of dollars can make!
Ok, here’s the puzzle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlKao_Pox5A&pp=ygUYc2ltcHNvbnMganVzdCBkb24ndCBsb29r
Or not. But still.
Puzzle song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNgcYGgtf8M
Got it!
I was surprised it took this long for anyone to request it even without it being a puzzle guess.
Woo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBNXckc1_Fg
Crash Into Me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7in-9E3ImQ
– What Rashee Rice believes that everyone and everything in the world expects from him
“People totally are like that”
-Britt Reid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZFPiG8dEBk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHUql3OC_uU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA7y-41v7pY
Did you end up doing movie songs where the movie title is in the song?
Sort of – https://doorfliesopen.com/2023/02/17/request-line-movie-theme-songs/
Puzzle song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZELhd6oDek
Fascinating guess, but no. Clue time – it’s a Simpsons reference.
Yeah, but “The Days of Wine and Roses” isn’t a command, and I can’t associate another song with that episode…
Hmmm.
I was a bit surprised when I looked it up; I’d always thought it was what he’d said to the trampoline.
Well, he couldn’t really get the trampoline IN is car.
Love this song, and some rando made a nice video to go with it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHvNNEAYlbU&pp=ygUgd2lsY28gbGVhdmUgbWUgbGlrZSB5b3UgZm91bmQgbWU%3D
Ironic that the Dead Kennedys are alive but
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9EhPunI6xg&ab_channel=EliasMerida
https://youtu.be/czw8eqepir8?si=uc6m2YmyL8YFUcJg
Puzzle song?
/ guessing his ass off
No, and also any “please” songs are forbidden (we may do a separate request line with those).
Self contained double shot courtesy of the Godfather of Soul:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtPOpre61NI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOs8pwKDJnA
Triple it
https://youtu.be/QS8FxHsw0U0?si=_I1OmNBXML6qlZC2
This might be the puzzle song, but it seems like an odd choice for Rikki
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5_sIMufaUY&ab_channel=CaseyAbrams
I wish we had a kharacter who was into songs like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCLY0Rlx6Q
I think the late great Seamus woulda liked this crap
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3aDlDkiUss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2twLJU_ggGI
Double Shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aljYMDwJLiM
grumble grumble hurry up grumble
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvB2MnIIdMw&pp=ygUadGllIHlvdXIgbW90aGVyIGRvd24gcXVlZW4%3D
Always listen to Lemmy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh3t49NsWBA&ab_channel=Mot%C3%B6rheadOfficial
“Kinda gamey”
Double it!
https://youtu.be/o-0lAhnoDlU?si=6_lPlBw7jM0GriKD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiIQAxfDSKo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAALdwDf68I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StKVS0eI85I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbdCpi4qTNY
momma said
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vimZj8HW0Kg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGb381tMJrw
TAKE ME SOMEPLACE DOUBLE SHOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8klIHNzpzk
Take Me, tripled
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TRdUyCtS-Y&ab_channel=PhilipAnness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UtDu-4m0Ko
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bkMtWL-5vM
/pushes up glasses
/straightens suspenders
Hunter doesn’t have permissions to run the sudo command, as he’s just a guest
//wedgies self on the way out.
LOU: Seems like this “Game Time Decision” fellow is pretty good with computers.
EDDIE: You know I heard there was a massive bug released last night that contaminated a whole bunch of computers, really gummed up the whole computer system.
LOU: But you wouldn’t know anything about that, now would you Game Time Decision?
I was in the club house the whole time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPBkiBbO4_4
The actual song title has an exclamation point after “Stop!” but this is a better video (live and not lip synced)
I was gonna let someone else request this (it was almost the puzzle song) but given that the Dr. Mrs. just knocked down a picture frame and broken glass is now everywhere, it seems pretty topical.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9Qe-utqHDU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4XS2wpKotA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-MWLPJL3b0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuQ3PaFyb9A
Get Down On It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qchPLaiKocI
Yet another self contained double shot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R49d4f5sEs4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OYlHtGQXxs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NLLFo38kko
SELF-CONTAINED DOUBLE SHOT WITH EXCLAMATION POINT BONUS POINTS!
https://youtu.be/t9DWwoey1K0?si=xwScXBa2k5ir51cP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxPJ-uiWhFg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g8z4tFoaHw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp_Wu-dLSGM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiJ7J1wUY9o
Double Shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQnW-MxAU6U
FWIW Nada Surf is playing in LA on October 22 for like $45. I’ll be out of the country but everyone else should go.
Me to dog after spilling food
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gcj34XixuYg&pp=ygUPa2lzcyBsaWNrIGl0IHVw
https://youtu.be/oDNcL1VP3rY?si=6SGCm6HiqhAa9kWV
https://youtu.be/s5T1XSUwDTo?si=8NN2GPFL0YgqgqEc
When there’s no money in the state welfare fund…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2kUX_Fmj7k
https://youtu.be/Xwyyrq8Jb_U?si=ayg-BvwlQaHEychU
Fucking Beatles, ordering me to assist. BOOTSTRAPS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q_ZzBGPdqE&pp=ygUMYmVhdGxlcyBoZWxw
DOUBLE COMMAND SHOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCtzkaL2t_Y&pp=ygUZZG9uJ3QgbGV0IG1lIGRvd24gYmVhdGxlcw%3D%3D
i mean come on triple shot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKJqecxswCA
Puzzle song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5MAjKXnh28
Nope!
You gotta fight!…. For your right!…. to Partay!!!
https://youtu.be/eBShN8qT4lk?si=ElUuy_UBcE222DDA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N–mSzwxDg