Your First Sunday in November Football Open Thread

Hey y’all, welcome back! It’s already week nine and things are just rolling along fine. The Steelers and Niners are on bye so there’s a fair number of games to get to.

To The Games!

Cowboys/Falcons:

Zeke isn’t with the team because of some unspecified disciplinary thingy. Now who the hell is going to provide the 3.1 ypc firepower that he brings to the team? It feels like Dallas is on the verge of imploding but they have far too much talent to do that. And then you remember Jerry’s positive karma-less aura is even more powerful than Tomlin’s juju.

Saints/Panthers:

I almost overlooked this game-skipped right over it, I did. There’s all of three wins combined among them and a second year QB fighting for his job. Ugh.

Fins/Bills:

It’s only week 9 but Buffalo already has a four game lead in the division. Miami is not helping themselves by blowing 10 point leads in each of the last two games. Mostert must finally be feeling his (advanced) rb age-his ypc average has dipped to 3.5 and it’s never been below 4.8.

Raiders/Bengals:

Tight end Bower leads everyone in yards and catches and if he sees this through he’ll be the first rookie to do it since Shockey in 2002. Higgins won’t be playing and apparently won’t be traded either. This is the sort of dumb soap opera that the folks in Cincy deserve.

Chargers/Browns:

Will we get more good Jameis before the inevitable INT’s start piling up? LA players describe DC Jesse Minter’s new concepts as much ‘simpler’ and you can’t make fun of that given that they only give up an average of 13 points per game.

Pats/Titans:

Maye has passed through the various stages of the concussion protocol just in time to play today. Funny, that. His progress as a player is about the only thing interesting about this tilt unless you’re Don T and want to check out UDFA Julius Chestnutt.

Commies/Giants:

ESPN has floated the notion that some players that think they’re going to be traded have sent out feelers towards Washington. That would be tampering wouldn’t it? Them Commies have but three sacks on the year but not for long-they should double that total today.

Broncos/Ravens:

A rookie QB and a PFF-ranked #3 D has Denver over .500 for the first time since…? I don’t know when. Still, it’s a big ask to beat Baltimore at home and good franchises like the latter don’t lose two straight that often.

Have at it!

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
183 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Redshirt

I think the Bengals finally broke Joe Burrow. I’ve never seen a man with a thousand yard stare after throwing for 5 TDs.

The Maestro

DRAKE MAYE YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD

Gumbygirl

And he threw it to Rhamondre, bless him!

Spur

comment image

clint greasewood

Fish Man Good

Gatoraids

The Sex Drake tribute band

fleshwound_NPG

if lamb is chopped the cowpersons might as well go full tankcomment image

Gatoraids

Dave Canales , you magnificent bastard, I read your book! WOOO BOOY IM mAD a HeLl.

Redshirt

Defense: “Probably going to be another WR Screen to Chase.”
Commentators: “Probably going to be another WR Screen to Chase.”
Fans: “Probably going to be another WR Screen to Chase.”
Zac Taylor: “Let’s do a WR Screen to Chase. They’ll never see it coming!”

Gatoraids

Pat Tits color commentator sounds drowsy, not that I blame him

Cecil Rhodes

He should get in touch with Chris Berman. A couple of deux deux deuxs should wake him right up!

Redshirt

Maxx Crosby Rule: Roughing the Passer will not be called if the defender apologizes and hugs the Quarterback.

King Hippo

Begin the Cooper Rush Experience!

Gatoraids
Spur

Lord Forbid we see what Trey Lance can do. A running QB might be good thing

King Hippo

Just need 4 TDs and 3 2-pointers! Its still good. It’s still good!

Gatoraids

Rasul Douglas jumping over Tua to save him from himself

Gatoraids

Broncos haven’t bee this exposed since the OJ Simpson chase

Gatoraids

been

fleshwound_NPG

on vacation for election week. the last time i did this was 2008

so if the thing happens again, you’re welcome

(2008 was a good year to hide from the racist coworker discourse, and even tho now it is a lot of younger less-racist coworkers i work with one seemed okay with rfk jr…so still a good week to bail)

Gatoraids

taking the day after election off to recover from hangover and avoid getting mad at any post day gloating.

King Hippo

I stayed up until like 4a to see North Cakalaky called for BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA and it was glorious. I hope for a scenario that at least rhymes Tuesday night.

Redshirt

Las Vegas Raiders are on their last offensive lineman.

Gatoraids

the Al Davis dream

Gatoraids

though for a minute I thought Richie Incognito was back in the league

King Hippo

1) I see that I am talking to myself

2) I hope Lamar! and el Tractorcito at least bought us dinner first

Gatoraids

The Pills Have Ears

King Hippo

Is it just me, or has Brokeback made the same leap that Lamar! did last year (where they gain consistency and field vision to become transcendent)?

King Hippo

OH GOOD DRAKE LONDON IS DED THAT WON’T CRIPPLE GRIMACE TOUCHED MY BUTTHOLE OR ANYTHING

King Hippo

That’s Horatio’s COWPERSONS!

Unsurprised

PNWCON IS ON

ThePirateSloth

DFO PNW Mini Squad assembled. Drinks are dranking.

Chuh chuh

King Hippo

we look forward to y’all’s full report. Double-spaced not REQUIRED but we will judge you otherwise

Gumbygirl

The Pirate Sloth has his poetry on. We demand the report be in iambic pentameter! Or at least, limerick form.