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Conference Championship Nihilism Nite!

King Hippo

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Man, have these games been bad (I am typing this during GA/TX, which hopefully at least keeps me awake).  We’ll have PLAYOFFS come 13 days from now, and enough Dec/Jan FITBAW to take one’s mind off….you know.  Society and shit.

Marshall (+5) at Louisiana-Lafayette – Sun Belt Championship (7:30, ESPN)

When I was married, I was frequently asked “why the hell would you care about THIS” during such tilts.  I mean, it’s FITBAW and it’s on.  I try not to ask too many damned questions.

Paedo State (+3.5) v. Oregon – B1G Championship, Gravy Boat (8:00, CBS)

Finally, CBS gets a decent TV matchup.  Watch Quackers win by 40.  Winner gets 1 seed, loser #5.

Clemson (+2.5) v. SMU – ACC Championship, Richardson Family Plantation (8:00, ABC)

Closer line than expected, but who knows how the Ponies will really react to the spotlight.  REALLY want them to finish their blitzkrieg through ACC play in their first season, despite not really being wanted.  Few organizations (ok, maybe the US Senate) are run as dysfunctionally as the ACC.  Viva el Methodismo!

YES, still no cheerleaders.  Sorry, society.  Y’all know what y’all done.

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BC Dick

I’m starting curling agin in the new year with my boss and his boss’s boss and his husband and maybe some other folks. I’m also bowling at my peak with my new raw hammer ball
It could be a weekly thing. Bowling is Tuesday. Curling will be Friday if I have my way, and as the tallest straight male I should get my way, so maybe like any day in there? It all comes up at some time so give me a day. I commit!
I commit.

3
BC Dick

I’ve been meeling a log of hot wings in town too. I could throw that in. And I want to add one about fish n chips. all the fat guy stuff.

4
ballsofsteelandfury

Yes!

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WCS

We had Dumbfuck of the Week earlier, how about Lucky Bastard of the Year/Karma Burn:

Crotch-rocket bike into jersey barrier reportedly at fair rate of speed. He walked away with reportedly minor injuries; arrested for DUI, however.

1
Mr. Ayo

The lesson, as always, is to be black out drunk if you’re going to get in an accident.

2
WCS

And that’s literally it. Closed call, he’s on his way to the ER with the police, so it’s breathalyzer time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8_y2Zl9W8

EDIT: Blood draw

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
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Mr. Ayo

Blood draw? Let me guess: Still drunk?

0
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyFx6cnoBXY

Carl’s dancing levels of drunk, perhaps?

3
Mr. Ayo

He’s probably too drunk to get any painkillers too, lol.

1
Unsurprised

We did it!

Al Qaida now has WMDs!

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Unsurprised

I hate Joe Biden more than any living politician and number 2 is not even close, which is saying something, since it’s Obama. He’s a contemptible human being who has never done the right thing in his entire life. I know he doesn’t even have a grasp on time and space, and was never fit for office in 2019, and has not actually been exercising power (which is cool and fine and not a sign of how pointless it is who is president), but that doesn’t absolve him of his and his administration’s crimes as a capstone to a half century of carrying water for the worst people and ideas on earth. I wish him a long life of suffering.

Trump is a genuine loser piece of shit, and yet he is a better person than Biden even on Joe’s best day.

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Gumbygirl

.

9a8fd48f99c0e3d7c95baa642808ef1e2c54f5c06fda1a13fb0eefc7f1cf77ff_1.gif.gif
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BC Dick

He’s Knox Harrington, the video artist.

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BC Dick

Darn. If Joe Biden is the worst (living*) politician you can think of, you’re doing pretty good.
Sometimes I get overdone with the crush of life. The news. Savagery. Awfulness. I have another whisky and listen to the wind.
It’s all in the wind.

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Unsurprised

Anyway, this isn’t a crisis as far as the U.S. is concerned. We’ve now neutralized Hamas, Hezbollah, Syria, and Iran. We’ve weakened one of Russia’s allies. We’ve shown that Ukrainians are effective proxy army trainers and commanders. And we’ve made sure Turkey, the second-largest and second most important member of NATO, is happier than a pig in shit. Sure, the new boss may slaughter alawites, Druze, Christians, and, of course, Kurds, but that’s not our problem any more than all the other ethnic cleansing we’ve abetted or turned a blind eye towards just in that region just in the last ten years. No one even remembers what happened to the Armenians of Artsakh last year.

Mission Fucking Accomplished

1
Unsurprised

Donald’s first crisis is probably going to revolve around whether China enforces the sanctions it just levied on the U.S. and its allies on “dual-use” materials like gallium and other rare earth minerals.

Since the U.S. has been speedrunning deindustrialization for the last forty years (manufacturing as a percentage of the economy has remained flat for 25 years only because some things just cannot be offshored to … China), China is in a position to annihilate the U.S. economy if numbnuts actually tries to start a trade war. And you know what the funniest part is? None of those considerations has taken into account the fact that even three years into the Ukraine-Russia war, Russia has not enacted its own trade war capabilities against the West.

Anyway, everything is cool. The adults in the room are doing a great job. Setting up Trump for failure at the expense of, well, us is worth it because Team Blue is awesome and Team Red are traitors. Amirite!?!

high five! High five!

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BC Dick

They’re both scum. Politicians are charlatans and frauds at the professional level. They just use different levers to gain power.

1
Unsurprised

Didn’t Jacksonville and Tennessee already play each other like two weeks ago?

I wonder what kind of hilarity is in store for Jets-Fins. The Insufferable Force vs. the Oblivious Object.

0
Unsurprised

Hmm A rare miss by Dril. You can, in fact, hand it to ISIL.

0
Unsurprised

I mean NCAA

0
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RtobbqDXsw&list=PLFi9V6EFsFIm8gk7mzMSghNVQMzQDLdtR&index=16

hell with it, let’s rock

1
WCS

football is stupid

3
SonOfSpam

And so are we, perfect fit.

5
WCS

dabo Dabo DABO makes me irrotationally angry

0
Redshirt

If Alabama get in over SMU, the Ponies should boycott their bowl game.

1
Mr. Ayo

This guy gets it. SMU is out, lol

0
Unsurprised

They should’ve stayed dead

0
Redshirt

No punches? No flags?

What kind of bullshit is this?!

2
Redshirt

I’m legitimately surprised they’re not pulling a Karate Kid Part III and having Alabama waiting to play the winner of the bracket for the National Championship.

2
Redshirt

SMU winning the first CFB Playoff Bracket would be perfect.

1
WCS

LOL dabo Dabo DABO

0
WCS

comment image

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Mr. Ayo

GO FOR TWO STANGS!

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Redshirt

I’d kick. The review sapped the momentum and got Clemson back on track.

0
Mr. Ayo

Folks, never listen to the strategy of a Bungles fan.

3
Redshirt

I’ve won Super Bowls with David Klingler and Akili Smith…in video games, but its better than the Bengals have done in real life.

2
Mr. Ayo

Cowards.

0
Mr. Ayo

Another Death Penalty for allowing Deebo a chance.

1
Redshirt

It would work better without the review. Clemson would still be shellshocked.

0
2Pack

The Ducks appear to have this one in hand.
The Ducks cheerleaders wear colorful outfits.
We need to celebrate cheerleaders again.

2
Mr. Ayo

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2Pack

I knew I could count on you.

2
Brocky

This game, has been decent?

I’m surprised

0
WCS

Penn State’s color is blue from the constant letdowns they give their fans’ collective balls.

1
Doktor Zymm

I’m playing legend of zelda: tears of the somethingorother
It’s fun!
Going to the Disappointment Bowl tomorrow, Bears@Niners

5
WCS

Tears of the Kingdom is apparently a lot like the Niners’ season: was supposed to be incredible because of the previous version, but sort of breaks down about halfway through.

1
2Pack

Stay frosty.

1
WCS

Alright, so here’s a candidate for Dumbfuck of the Week:

Routine traffic stop turns into assault of a police office with a vehicle, and then our supergenius rolls his vehicle down a hillside two blocks away trying to flee.

Captain Car Crash here has now tried to flee on foor, has been for about 20 minutes. Here’s the thing: he’s clearly leaking oil, and likely seriously injured.

Since no one else is here, I’m just going to rivebrog this as it happens. There’s no way this doesn’t make the news, so it’s fine.

8
WCS

22: 49 UPDATE: He’s been detained.

5
WCS

He’s got a concussion and a leg injury at the very least.

0
WCS

Straight from the ER to County Lock Up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iId5WDsYxZ4

0
Unsurprised

I’m here.

3
Redshirt

Reminds me of that Grand Jury trial where someone responded by getting fired by committing three counts Grand Theft Auto, two counts Leaving Scene of Accidents, one count Kidnapping, one count Resisting Arrest, one count Escaping and was one tackle away from another Grand Theft Auto and 28 counts Kidnapping a Minor (he was heading towards a school bus handcuffed).

Personally, I responded to getting unjustly fired by scratching deep into my asscrack and shaking my ex-boss’s hand, but I guess you gotta be you.

2
Mr. Ayo

This is one hell of story to read after waking up from a nap.

1
Gumbygirl

There was a Christmas parade in Palm Springs tonight. Some asshole motorcycle cop was going waaaay too fast, doing wheelies, lost control and smashed into a bunch of people on the sidewalk. Several people badly injured. Asshole cop lost a hand. Good.

4
Gumbygirl

Somebody posted a picture of him lying there handless on Nextdoor. Wanna see it?

0
Mr. Ayo

Sure, why not?

0
Gumbygirl

.

6e8b1ddb9d6c100bc568b1d02d4fcfad.jpeg
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Mr. Ayo

Hahaha. Hope he doesn’t sue the city.

0
blaxabbath

Oh snap.

0
WCS

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Fuck Texas.

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2
Unsurprised

With Florida’s dick

0
WCS

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Brocky

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Unsurprised

Motherfuck both teams, but Notre Dame and everyone ever associated with it should go to Hell

0
King Hippo

In Brit-speak, Paedo State is what they’d call a flat-track bully

0
Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/ZGs4VH5

1
SonOfSpam

Defense is optional in the ACC game. I look forward to betting against the winner of this game in the playoff.

1
King Hippo

The ACC is really bad this year, even by its own shitty standards

1
SonOfSpam

Even with the addition of Stanford and Cal???

1
King Hippo

inorite???

1
litre_cola

If Dabo Dabo Dabo wins doe SMOO get knocked out by 3 loss Bama?

0
King Hippo

Likely but not cetain (per ESPN computers). 74/26 was percentages

0
SonOfSpam

Would be fun if they both got knocked out by Florida State. Classic makeup call.

2
yeah right

So I gave the dishwasher the night off for some damn reason and there I was having to wash my own damn dishes.

Rather than get huffy about it, I just put on my headset and got busy.

This was song number one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNLXmZpHn88

Last edited 1 year ago by yeah right
0
yeah right

This was song two.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGdCTy-Vm7o

1
yeah right

And this was the final song number three.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zpvlMp04D0

I love my Ipod.

Yes I still own one.

1
yeah right

And now I’m switching back to my phone so I can listen to these in the GOOD headphones.

0
WCS

Lil’ WCS specifically requested an iPod.

I got her a Walkman. Yes, Walkmans are easier to find than iPods.

1
SonOfSpam

I have no questions about that Devo song because the title answers the questions.

2
litre_cola

VAR check.

Overruled this is song 2.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSbBvKaM6sk

1
SonOfSpam

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SonOfSpam

Go Ducks

Also Geoducks

3
SonOfSpam

Well that was fast. Good day for the Pac-12 continues.

1
yeah right

Too gooey for me.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Goose

4
SonOfSpam

/jumps up to chase GTD around the circle
//sprains ankle immediately, wrenches back reaching for sprained ankle, tears knee cartilage while stopping suddenly due to wrenched back
///weakly starts again “duck..”

5
Mr. Ayo

Rough day to be a DAWGS QB

0
Mr. Ayo

Although both will have happy dreams after being heavily sedated for their injuries tonight.

1
King Hippo

Beck = Toradol
Other Guy = Forget-Me-Nows

1
Mr. Ayo

Forgot-Who-Nows?

— T. Green

2
litre_cola

Chaos would be Paedo St and Dabo winning no?

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