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20 Sept 2025 – JV NFL Evening Machinations

King Hippo

/

,

I hope everyone enjoyed the early proceedings.  And/or your midday nap.  Here’s what remains of the day:

West By God Virginia (+13.5) at Kansas (6:00, FS1)

Comebackery in the Backyard Brawl means WCS’ Fuckers du Cousins have a pulse for this matchup.  Still dunno what KS has got this season.

South Cakalaky (+10.5) at Mizzou (7:00, ESPN)

Can the Chickens get back off the mat?  Only if their QB can pass concussion protocol, which Doctor Hippo doubts.

Florida Men (+7.5) at Miami-FL (7:30, ABC)

Hey everybody, it’s Meth Dealers v. Coke Dealers tonight!!!

Illinois (+5.5) at Indiana (7:30, NBC)

I read that this is the first matchup between these teams with both being ranked, since like 1950 or some shit.  That is some impressive, historic commitment to shittitude.

Arizona State (+2.5) at BayBay (7:30, Fox)

Neither of these can afford another mulligan performance, so should be spirited at minimum/

California (-12.5) at San Diego State (10:30, CBSSN)

Looky-loo, the Golden Shower Bears made me look like quite the arsehole last week, soundly defeating Minnesota.  Will there be a letdown against the JV BOLTMEN?

Michigan State (+17.5) at Southern California (11:00, Fox)

You simply HAVE TO LOVE this kickoff time.  Fortunately, these are college kids, so Sparty won’t be all sleepy.  Unfortunately, they also just ain’t very good.  Que lastima.

 

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WCS

Both teams trade a couple late garbage touchdowns, and USC recovers the last-ditch onside kick.

45-31 F USC goes to 4-0, Sparty Party loses their first, 3-1

I’m WCS and have been your unasked correspondent.

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WCS

Sparty turns it over on 4th-and-seven around midfield. 38-24 USC

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Gettin’ late for Michigan State here…
6:30 to go

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Holy hell I forgot there was a candy called that!

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WCS

Troy comes right back, converts three different third downs, and retakes the two-touchdown lead.

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38-24 Men of Troi
8:20 to go in regulation

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WCS

31-24 USC end of three.
This is turning out okay after all.

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WCS

SUDDEN CHANGES

Sparty mounted a nice drive of their own to make it 31-17. USC then fumbles three plays later, and MSU recovers at Troi’s 38.

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WCS

Troy forced Sparty to punt to start the half. USC marched straight down the field, touchdown pass to the RB on 3rd and three from the MSU 12.

31-10 Troi Bois looking pretty solid right now.

1
Doktor Zymm

So excited about sleeping in tomorrow, didn’t drink any caffeine or alcohol this afternoon just so I’ll sleep that much better!

1
WCS

Colorado State-UTSA kinda went bananacakes at the very end if yinz can find it. I won’t spoil anything.

0
WCS

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Troy let Sparty move right down the field win 30 seconds, and SHANK’LOR eats Michigan State’s sad attempt.

24-10 USC Halftime

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OOv5P2yhUk
Safety to seal the win for Boomer over Most Eastern Tigers, 24-17. Cromulent!

Back at it in LA, Troy scores after the lengthy injury timeout. It’s 24-10, three seconds till halftime.

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WCS

Been on an extended injury timeout for a Sparty that’s been down for a while.
Both sides are kneeling, and it’s weirdly quiet. Training staff’s got him on a board now, going to move him to a cart.

Haven’t seen the hit, and no replays shown. That’s probably not great. Announcers aren’t saying a lot, and players on both sidelines have tears.

Just got him on the cart.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish that’s how the Charlie Kirk situation had been handled. Quietly, calmly, and once he was out of sight it was never spoken of again.

1
Redshirt

Has Luke Fickell been fired yet?

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WCS

Bill Napier at Florida, Fickell, Sammy Pittman at R-Kansas, or Mike Gundy at Okie State?

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Redshirt

Eh, good call. Week 3 and there’s a bottleneck to the gallows.

1
Doktor Zymm

If/when I visit the Orkneys I will have to be sure to check out Twatt

3
WCS

BOTG

1
Unsurprised

Are the Orkneys on the Elvesthrotes?

0
yeah right

Sometimes life is shitty and other times it’s not as shitty but whenever I eat a taco?

Life is good.

Damn that was a tasty taco.

5
WCS

Sparty takes all of eight plays to respond with a touchdown pass of about 15.

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WCS

Troy marched right down the field, but Sparty toughened up in the red zone. Forced a Troy field goal when USC had first and goal at the six.

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3-0 Troyjans

Last edited 7 months ago by WCS
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WCS

I guess we’ve got a the Trojan-Spartan conflict again. I what would be an interesting Rose Bowl is somehow a B1G conference game.

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WCS

Sparky walks off Rapey U, 24-21.

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1
Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/jvq7VfQY

3
ArmedandHammered

Obviously the cat.

3
Unsurprised

Birds are just evolved dinosaurs, tho

0
WCS

3rd and 25 in Waco

JV NFL BLITZ!

0
WCS

Sheee-it, Rapey U acutally converts, without any help from BLEERGH, either.

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Bay-Bay ties it up two plays later. 24-up.

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That’s another 40+ yard TD ASU allowed in the air today.

1
Doktor Zymm

Three more months of britbox for 99 cents/month? Sure, why not

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

That’s a killer deal

1
Doktor Zymm

Got a calendar event for when it expires and just about to watch the first episode of Shetland

2
ArmedandHammered

That is a great series.

2
Doktor Zymm

Enjoying it so far!

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also known as a “Tyler Robinson” type deal.

0
WCS

Fightin’ Berts kick a field goal to finish the first half down, 35-10, and Indiana responds by somehow scoring 14 points in less than seven minutes to start the third.

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49-10 Hoosiers 5:02 3rd

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Fightin’ Berts too big and too dumb to process pain like normal people.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY WCS I CALL HIM PETE WENTZ IN A PRIVATE SNAPCHAT GROUP BECAUSE HE IS ENTERTAINING HIS COMPANIONS WITH SIMPSON VIDEOS.

Last edited 7 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
2
WCS

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3
LemonJello

Welp. I’ve seen enough. Later, Taters!

0
litre_cola

Mighty Whitey wins, Cavs win. Good day.

/definitely maybe is Oasis’ best album by far

2
Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/NgfszkkJ

2
BC Dick

Are you drawing these?

0
Brick Meathook

No. These are by the late great B.Kliban, who mostly contributed to Playboy magazine from the 1960s through the 80s (he died in 1990). Gary Larson considered Kliban one of his biggest influences for The Far Side.

2
litre_cola

My dad bought them for the articles

0
BC Dick

A lot of great interview with James Caan.

0
Gumbygirl

Gumby bought them for the tits.

0
BC Dick

I’ve never seen those. Thanks, I’m going to have to dive into that. I love the far side.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here’s the bamboo I pulled out of the ground today:

1000001573
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My mother-in-law wanted to cook something special for dinner to show her appreciation (since I’m doing it to clear the area for an external office we’re building in the yard for her). You’ll never guess what she made!

0
Jimbo

Gazpacho, Ice cold?

1
Doktor Zymm

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For the record, it was pretty tasty soup. I call it Gratitude Soup, which is coincidentally the first single on Subterranean Bamboo’s upcoming album.

2
yeah right

You are a true mighty warrior.

1
LemonJello

My take on Illinois’ 1st half?

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2
Senor Weaselo

Out of my friends one did his undergrad at Northwestern, one did her Master’s at Indiana, so, sure, we’ll take it?

0
WCS

Indiana with perfect screen pass

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to the running back, 54 yards to the endzone

28-7 with still seven minutes in the first half.

1
BC Dick

Big BC Lions win today over Calgary. There’s a classic uni battle going now between Edmonton and Hamilton.
Think classic Green Bay vs Pittsburgh but without the fascism.

2
Bogdanski

As a Green Bay fan, https://share.google/pc5ZodRUxttYLzXH3

1
Bogdanski

Goddammit this never works like i want it to

1
BC Dick

They have the same colours I mean. Although Edmonton allowed Warren Moon to play quarterback, resulting in several Grey Cups, while the NFL insisted that his colour precluded from throwing a football good.
It’s been a thing for a while down there.

1
Bogdanski

Ah, well if not the cities themselves I’m sure you will find plenty of fascism just outside of town.
The one time I felt the tiniest (tiny, sub-atomic sized, fuck man on dog santorum) bit of respect for Rick Santorum was 2012 maybe when he and Scott Walker were both running for R presidential nomination. Walker in Pitt was waving a terrible towel all over and having a great time. Santorum was in Green Bay and they tried to give him some Packer thing to hold up and he wouldn’t do it. Possibly cause it sounded gay to him but either way, he gets the tiniest amount of credit… but still an absolute shit human

2
litre_cola

Cavs dominated

1
BC Dick

That and the Forge stomping is a good week for Calgary footy fans. I like it.

2
WCS

Fightin’ Berts’ QB must owe the o-linemen money or banged their girlfriend(s).

0
WCS

Fightin’ Berts just lost their defensive cap-e-tan to a targeting foul.

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Tosses a touchdown two plays later.

21-7 Indiana

This is.. underexpected.

3
LemonJello

Goddammit, Illini.

0
WCS

Does Indiana have a good defensive line, does Bert’s Illini’s o-line just semi-solid giraffe diarrhea? Stuff can be two things…

0
Doktor Zymm

No idea why Indiana would have a good defensive line, it’s not like anyone is trying to get in

4
Gumbygirl

It’s all the cow tipping.

1
WCS

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WVU still won the Backyard Brawl…
WVU still won the Backyard Brawl…
WVU still won the Backyard Bawl…

0
fleshwound_NPG

tbf id lose to vandy 70-0 for it

Screenshot-2025-09-20-200436
1
BC Dick

I never thought of him as that kind of guy. I assumed the distaste of media was just because it’s unnecessary. But maybe it was all affected? Maybe it was just the cheating, sex slave loving owner and a really good QB and a lot of the rest of the roster was good too.
His draft picks are brutal after that. Did he pick Tom? It was dumb luck either way.
Imagine being 70 and on tv with some 20 year old money sucker. Embarrassing.

0
WCS

He never had time for a mid-life crisis, so he’s making up for lost time.

1
Horatio Cornblower

NBC is switching the Notre Dame game to Peacock, because apparently snuff films are legal there.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Purdue’s offense did a respectable enough job. And it didn’t help that officials picked up a flag that would have brought back a ND kick return for no raisin.

0
LemonJello

Hey, NBC, can we switch to Illinois/Indiana instead of watching these Catholics abuse boys?

2
yeah right

So what’s a sports fan to do on this fully operational JV football Saturday?

Watch baseball of course.

And getting crunchy.

3
Horatio Cornblower

I’ve got Yankees-Orioles on.

It’s play-off season, basically.

2
Redshirt

Purdue Football
@BoilerFootball
Today’s game at Notre Dame will resume at 7 PM ET. There will be no halftime after resumption. The break will be treated as a normal quarter break.

So, just like the Emergency Days running out and Spring Break days being taken away, due to circumstances beyond their control, the students are getting their break taken from them.

0
LemonJello

On the other hand, it’s Notre Dame, so fuck ’em.

0
King Hippo

Days like today remind one why one really fucking hates life and takes comfort that it will soon be over.

2
Redshirt

I’d high five you and welcome you to the club…but what’s the point?

2
King Hippo

This here Magical Pony KNOW wut time it is

1
yeah right

Fucking AT&T. Have to pay 12 bucks a day for international calling just so I can text and send dick jokes to here while I’m in Spain.

The prices we pay for proper dick jokery.

1
Redshirt

.

reach-out-and-touch-someone
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Doktor Zymm

International data and texts free on T-mobile. That’s why I’ve always gone with them, also because they’re much friendlier to unlocked phones than most

3
yeah right

Long story but I had T Mobile forever until I didn’t and they never charged me.

Then after we switched they tried to charge the shit out of us in Toronto for “Roaming Charges?”

Fucks a roaming charge?

1
Gumbygirl

I have never, ever, had a single problem with T Mobile. They have earned my bizness.

2
yeah right

Cosigned.

0
Redshirt

Michigan’s winning?

(remembers Media’s JV Week 1’s coronation of Nebraska’s QB as Mahomes Jr.)

(takes deep breath) Go Blue. (throw up in mouth a little)

0
King Hippo

heh, that’ll be me cheering Dabo on in 2 weeks (see below)

1
fleshwound_NPG

holy shit, october 4th will have the schadenfreude bowl

https://www.espn.com/college-football/game/_/gameId/401754552/clemson-north-carolina

0
Senor Weaselo

We can root so they both lose, right?

1
Redshirt

Perpetual OTs where they both convert or miss 2-pt tries until the Heat Death of the Universe!

0
ArmedandHammered

Dabo runs off with Bellicheks girlfriend.

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