There was some settling of accounts yesterday but some are bleeding into today because some teams can’t finish what they started, right Carolina?

To The Games!

Colts/Texans:

These teams prove that if you’re going to streak you’d best do it towards the end of the season. You might get your wee bits  shriveled but at least you can play at least one extra game.

Cowboys/Giants:

So it comes to this. If you were some guy with a rooting interest in the G-Men and were hoping for a win to A) prevent Dallas from reaching .500 or B) finally breaking a 9 game losing skid against them, the fallout would be a loss of draft position. As a Nietszche always said, “Life is a shit sandwich. Start eating, there’s plenty more.” Wise man.

Browns/Bengals:

“Garrett needs to lay his sack on a dude and Joe Burrow is just the man for the job.” I ran this game through the Male Porn Preview Generator and it’s not too far off, is it?

Saints/Falcons:

If Atlanta takes it Carolina backs in to the playoffs. If New Orleans takes it Tampa backs in to the playoffs. I Can’t Stop Chewing My Nails!

Packers/Vikes:

Well, at least O’Connell doesn’t have to spend the entire offseason listening to what a great QB developer he is. Green Bay is shutting down a few starters because why give Minny the satisfaction of winning against a full squad?

Titans/Jags:

With 3 TD’s of any kind Ms. Girlfriend will relegate Blake Bortles to the dustbin of history for most combined TD’s in a season by a Jag-off.

Type like monkeys!