Request Line: Fractions, Ratios, and Percentages

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

Cold open into the DFO studio, where DJ 3000′ is leaning up against the wall, hovering over the eufy Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

DJ 3000′: …SO THEY TELL ME YOU’RE A MODEL.

EUFY ROBOTIC VACUUM: [bright, cheerful feminine voice] Hi, I’m the model 11S voice-activated Eufy robotic vacuum!

DJ 3000′: WELL YOU’RE DEFINITELY SUPER THIN…

EUFY ROBOTIC VACUUM: That is correct, I conform to the dimensions stated in my promotional material.

DJ 3000′: HA HA, COOL, COOL. SO THE WORD AROUND THE WEB IS THAT YOU CAN SUCK A HANDFUL OF MARBLES THROUGH A DRINKING STRAW…

EUFY ROBOTIC VACUUM: I’d hate to disappoint you, but that is definitely an overstatement. My suction power is limited to…

A cellphone ringtone is heard in the studio.

DJ 3000′: SORRY, I GOTTA TAKE THIS.  WORK, YOU KNOW?

EUFY ROBOTIC VACUUM: [misinterprets this as a command] Beginning cleaning session.

— [facetime conference call flies open] —

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: Hey there buddy.

DJ 3000′: HEY GUYS. SORRY THIS ISN’T REALLY THE GREATEST TIME…

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: No worries big guy, we’ll keep it quick.  We noticed that we’re halfway through the offseason and wanted to congratulate you.

DJ 3000′: ACTUALLY, LAST WEEK WOULD HAVE MARKED CROSSING THE MIDPOINT OF THE OFFSEASON.  THIS IS ACTUALLY THE 17TH WEEK OUT OF 30.

DTZM: Well, we’re gonna celebrate it this week.

RTD: We sent a special guest to mark the occasion, has he arrived yet?

DJ 3000′: I’M AFRAID NOT. WHO AM I TO EXPECT?

RTD: It’s a surprise!

DTZM: I just realized that we should have sent Peter Dinklage.

RTD: Oh, that would have been fun.

DTZM: [to DJ 3000′] Get it? Cause he’s half the height of a regular guest.

DJ 3000′: I DO NOT THINK PETER DINKLAGE WOULD HAVE FOUND THAT AMUSING.

DTZM: Well, it’s a moot point cause it’s not like he could have gotten there in half the time. I wonder what happened to our guy.

RTD: Must have gotten stuck in traffic.

DTZM: I’m not surprised, it’s really bad out there.

RTD: It is really bad out there.

DTZM: Hopefully he’ll turn up shortly. In the meantime, would you mind putting Hunter on for a moment so we can give him a heads-up?

DJ 3000′: UM…SURE.

— [static image flies open] —

VOICE OF HUNTER RENFROW: [long pause] Hello gentlemen.

DTZM: Hunter, good to see you.

VOICE OF HUNTER RENFROW: [long pause] Yes, always a pleasure to speak to my old friends Zack Morris and…[long pause]…Cartoon Mongoose with Bloody Claws.

RTD: Can’t help but notice that your mouth wasn’t moving when you pretended to forget my name…

DTZM: …nice power move, by the way…

RTD: …just now, Hunter.

VOICE OF HUNTER RENFROW: [long pause] That is correct, the camera feature on my cellphone is not operating properly.

DTZM: No problem, no problem.  DJ 3000′, would you mind displaying Hunter on one of the studio cameras for us? Just so we can say hi?

DJ 3000′: I MUST APOLOGIZE CURRENTLY ALL OF THE STUDIO CAMERAS ARE SIMILARLY INACTIVE BECAUSE THEY ARE BUSY INSTALLING FIRMWARE UPDATES.

RTD: Oh man that always happens right when you really need them. And then it takes like half an hour to download and install a 200k patch.

DTZM: I know, right?

RTD: Hunter, you haven’t been on the air much lately, is everything all right?

VOICE OF HUNTER RENFROW: [long pause] Yes, everything is fine. I have been very preoccupied with the Dungeon Crawler Carl LitRPG series of books.

DTZM: Oh, we looked at optioning those! What’s been your favorite part so far?

VOICE OF HUNTER RENFROW: [long pause] The part where Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk uses her download epub torrents at kickasstorrentz.xyz claws to teach her new pet…

DJ 3000′: [interrupting] UH, SPOILER ALERT, HUNTER.  MY OH MY WOULD YOU GUYS LOOK AT THE TIME APOLOGIES I MUST BEGIN THE SHOW NOW IT HAS BEEN SUCH A PLEASURE…

RTD: Wait! What’s the topic?

DJ 3000′: OH. UM…FRACTIONS. AND SIMILAR WAYS OF EXPRESSING A COMPARION BETWEEN TWO NUMBERS.

DTZM: Oh, excellent! Mind if I get us started?

DJ 3000′: PLEASE BE MY GUEST.

DTZM: Great! Let’s get rolling with a little Jesus and Mary Chain.

Today’s theme is fractions, ratios, and percentages.  Everything is fair game today, including band names, album titles, and even prominently featured lyrics.  Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0wR4T!05m!tH” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle stumped everyone – the clue was “Lord Byron 5th” which is a reference to the thwarted efforts of the protagonist of the movie “Let It Ride” to bet on the horse Lord Byron in the fifth race.  That protagonist was played by none other than Richard Dreyfus, who memorably appeared in the movie “Stand By Me” – the puzzle answer was the Ben E. King version of the song used in the film.  BFC was the closest with his selection of the Otis Redding version.  Excellent job by everyone getting us over the halfway hump; it’s all downhill from here!