Closing a FIne Lesser September – Part teh Second

Enjoy your nap?  GOOD.  Because it’s time to up our couch potato game, yo.

Ballsy: I’m back! At first, I was going to complain about the distinct lack of West/Best Coast games in Hippo’s write-up, but then I realized that there aren’t any.

Seriously, it’s Washington-Arizona and that will be over by the first quarter.

LSU (-2.5) at Ole Miss (6:00, ESPN)

I love me some staggered kickoff times, even if it means running the night thread early.  Sun is already setting earlier, you know?  Can Johnny Reb FERGET HAYELL the disappointment in Tuscaloosa, and muddle up Brian Kelly’s path to the SEC West title?  MAYBE.

Ballsy: What is it about SEC cheerleaders looking up?

Iowa State (+20) at Oklahoma (7:00, FS1)

To hell with logic, I have an itch in my gut about this matchup.  Cornpone State can turn this one into a slog, and there’s no question Steerfuckers North is looking ahead to next week’s Derby.  All the elements of an upset, or at least near-upset are there.  OK, maybe it’s just gas.  I am 50, after all.

Ballsy: Hey, I’m over 50 and my gas is delightful! I don’t know what you’re eating…

Michigan State (+11.5) at Iowa (7:30, NBC)

Highlighted mostly to note that NBC paid money – pretty big money – to air turds like this in primetime.  First team to 2 wins.

Ballsy: Wait, why the fuck would NBC pay good any money to air medium-scale Big Ten games? Notre Dame ain’t going there…

West By God Virginia (+14) at TCU (8:00, ESPN2)

I had very much tuned out on BLOOD FOAR THE BLOODEYES GOD after they lost their opener to Deion Sanders.  But they’ve three wins on the spin, and welcome a pluckier-than-recent-vintage Fuckers du Cousins squadron.  With their defense, I expect the visitors to hang around and maybe even steal one late.

Ballsy: WCS will be watching this closely. If TCU pulls ahead, expect a royal decree outlawing the color purple.

Alabama (-14.5) at Mississippi State (9:00, ESPN)

Oh, this is danger central.  Cowbells have not looked good offensively, I get it.  But they CAN defend, and I am not sure at all that Roll Damn Tide have fixed their shit.  A few turnovers, and this upset could very much be in play.  This is also as close as one gets for Tweaker Time…which is good, given everyone’s MANDATORY duties starting 9:30 EST Sunday.

Ballsy: Seriously, go to bed early tonight. There’s nothing to watch. Or get drunk and ramble on here. I’m not your supervisor.