Week one of vacation has been lovely as always. With the beautiful red sands of PEI so warm and friendly, we’ve made our way to beautiful Halifax to see family and buy hundreds of dollars worth of bulk liquor to get the wedding bar prepared. Sharkbait, I also have a rec for a cocktail of the week for which I will send information your way soon, and perhaps even a bottle if I can find something suitable for international shipping. At any rate, I digress! As life on the East Coast moves slowly, football continues to march forward unabated.

In league news this week:

  • Alouettes QB Caleb Evans is done for the season after suffering a knee injury in last week’s game against Hamilton. While starter Cody Fajardo is returning this week, making this mostly a moot point, the team did sign veteran quarterback Dominique Davis to be the team’s new #3 with the loss of Evans.
  • Ottawa recently released longtime DB Sherrod Baltimore; a longtime depth piece for the REDBLACKS, he was signed in June towards the end of training camp after previously being allowed to walk into free agency. Baltimore played in five games this year with the REDBLACKS, and despite this release, we may yet see him again. He’s bounced around a ton from practise roster to active and back over the years.
  • Competitive eater Joey Chestnut was invited by the Saskatchewan Roughriders to take on a few players in a mini donut challenge; to further pad to his impressive resume as the world’s greatest food processor, the trio of players against him finished a combined 98 mini donuts in eight minutes… Chestnut alone polished a new record of 343. He may be the greatest athlete the world’s ever seen.

Onto the games!

WEEK 9 RECAPS

BC 0 vs. Winnipeg 25: I truly don’t remember the last time I’ve ever seen such an unexpected dominant performance in this league. There’s no bones about it: the Lions got whooped. Vernon Adams, Jr., who was arguably leading the Most Outstanding Player race at the one-third mark of the season, looked brutal; BC had only 102 net yards of offence and four first downs all game. Full credit to the Bombers’ D for stepping up – in particular, the secondary has looked transformed over the last two games, with just 220 passing yards against and nine total points conceded. Bombers’ WR Lucky Whitehead also made his season debut after being elevated from the practise roster, and the former Lion went off on his old team for six catches for 56 yards and a touchdown. VA8 ended up getting carted off the field with an apparent knee injury and is considered week-to-week for the Lions right now.

PICK: BC

RESULT: Winnipeg

Montreal 33 vs. Hamilton 16: The Als, electing to start their third-stringer Davis Alexander, kept on rolling, and took down the Ti-Cats to further pad their East Division title lead. It was a balanced offensive effort; before he left early in the fourth quarter due to a hit to the head, he had 262 passing yards, a TD and a pick, and when second-stringer Caleb Evans came in to relieve him, he had a TD pass and rushing score of his own. RB Walter Fletcher had 84 rush yards and a score as well. Hamilton had very little going; they looked completely outgunned after midway through the second quarter. While both Alexander and Caleb Evans left the game with injuries for Montreal, it’s not all doom and gloom, as Cody Fajardo prepares for his return soon.

PICK: Montreal

RESULT: Montreal

Edmonton 42 vs. Saskatchewan 31: Man, imagine that… start Tre Ford, and you finally win a game. This is the exact same thing that Edmonton did last year, after another terrible start. Full credit to the Elks for a complete game; defensively they did enough, including two picks on Shea Patterson, but it was the work of Ford, who threw two TDS, and returner Javon Leake, who was inserted into the running game for the first time this season, and proceeded to bust loose with three monster rushing scores, including two 60+ runs. Saskatchewan started this game hot, with Mario Alford returning the opening kickoff 101 yards for a major, but the Elks responded and didn’t show any quit all game long. This was not a team that looked 0-7 playing in this one. Bad luck is one thing, but bad coaching decisions are another; Edmonton sure has had a lot of those leading up to this week. I want nothing more than for Tre Ford to keep proving the haters wrong.

PICK: Saskatchewan

RESULT:

Toronto 23 vs. Calgary 27: The Argos jumped out to a sizable first-half lead, but the Stampeders put together a tremendous fourth-quarter comeback, scoring 21 unanswered points to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. It was a stunning collapse for Toronto, who had done such an excellent job containing the Stampeders‘ offence up  to that point. Jake Maier had 287 passing yards and two TDs late to help reel Calgary back within striking distance, allowing Rene Paredes to kick two field goals to take the lead and win, but credit as well to DB Demerio Houston for coming up with a timely interception on the last Argos drive of the game to seal the deal for the Stampeders.

PICK: Toronto

RESULT: Calgary

BYE: Ottawa (5-2)

WEEK 10 PREVIEWS

Saskatchewan (5-3) vs. Ottawa (5-2), Thursday, August 8th, 7:30 PM EDT (TSN, CFL+): The Riders have some work to do on defence in order to ensure they remain a Grey Cup favourite. In particular, their run defence looked very porous last week against Edmonton; I am intrigued to see how Ottawa plans to exploit this. The REDBLACKS, coming off a bye, are 4-0 at home this year, and have been playing some really good football as of recent, particularly on the defensive side of the ball. If Trevor Harris is healthy, that will be a big boost for Saskatchewan, but MCL sprains are a crapshoot; he is allegedly close, but considering he missed almost the entire 2023 season with a broken leg, I’m confident both he and the medical don’t want to see him rushed back.

PICK: Ottawa

Calgary (4-4) vs. Toronto (4-4), Friday, August 9th, 7:30 PM EDT (TSN, CFL+): After such a stunning collapse last week, Toronto wants vengeance. Fortunately for them, they’re much better at home (3-1) than they’ve been on the road (1-3), so perhaps the comfortable confines of BMO Field will help to right the ship. With Chad Kelly due to return the following week, the Argos want to find themselves on the right side of .500 before his presence allows them to make a big second-half push on the year. The Stamps needed that win last win in a big way – with Winnipeg nipping at their heels for the final playoff spot in the West, there’s work to be done to help put some distance between them. Those late-game heroics are a very positive piece to build off of for this coming rematch.

PICK: 

Hamilton (2-6) vs. Montreal (7-1), Saturday, August 10th, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): It’s a rematch of last week, and this time, it looks like Cody Fajardo’s back in action. The Als have weathered the storm very well in his absence – they still certainly look like the team to beat right now. The Tiger-Cats, who were out of it last week, still can’t seem to find an identity right now. In particular the run game needs some work, but defensively, their secondary continues to leak like a sieve. I don’t like their odds on the road for this one – even more than how I didn’t like them at home next week. I’m just also not really sure what the team can do to rapidly reinvent themselves through the back half of the season – after such notable coaching staff turnover and numerous key signings, there doesn’t seem to be much room for opportunity to make any wild roster changes any time soon.   

PICK: Montreal

BC (5-3) vs. Edmonton (1-7), Sunday, August 11th, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): Edmonton’s defence, particularly in the secondary, is still weak right now, but the whole team was playing with some swagger as soon as Tre Ford made his first start last week. For a team that’s 1-7, they look remarkably dangerous; Ford’s mobility in the pocket is a true X-factor. For the Lions, after last week’s dominance, they’re in for some further tough sledding due to Vernon Adams Jr.’s knee injury; he’ll be out for this one and possibly the next one, and I’m really not sold on Jake Dolegala being an effective backup considering his really poor showing down the stretch last year in Saskatchewan. The Lions are going to need to show some resiliency and find a way to win ugly if they want to have us believe they can grind out wins later on in the playoffs.

PICK: Edmonton 

BYE: Winnipeg (3-6)

STANDINGS AND STATS

East Division Standings

Team Games Wins Losses Points For Points Against
Montreal 8 7 1 228 168
Ottawa 7 5 2 174 167
Toronto 8 4 4 217 209
Hamilton 8 2 6 211 254

West Division Standings

Team Games Wins Losses Points For Points Against
BC 8 5 3 206 195
Saskatchewan 8 5 3 214 200
Calgary 8 4 4 192 220
Winnipeg 9 3 6 188 186
Edmonton 8 0 8 216 247

Passing Yards

  1. Mitchell, HAM – 2497
  2. Adams, Jr., BC – 2469
  3. Collaros, WPG – 2018

Passing TDs

  1. Mitchell, HAM – 18
  2. Adams, Jr., BC – 14
  3. Maier, CGY – 13

Rushing Yards

  1. Oliveira, WPG – 611
  2. Carey, TOR – 522
  3. Stanback, BC – 431

Receiving Yards

  1. McInnis, BC – 780
  2. Philpot, MTL – 772
  3. Hollins, BC – 706

Defensive Tackles

  1. Morgan – 56
  2. Beverette, MTL – 50
  3. Hladik, BC – 49

Sacks

  1. Ceresna, TOR – 5
  2. Carter, OTT – 4
  3. Mauldin, OTT – 4

Interceptions

  1. Milligan, SSK – 5
  2. Ford, WPG,  – 3
  3. Houston, CGY – 3

Field Goals

  1. Castillo, WPG – 28
  2. Ward, OTT – 25
  3. Whyte, BC – 24

PICK POOL

Another rough week. We were all literally unanimous in picking BC and SSK this past set of games. That’s tough to see the entire field go 0-2. A reminder that betting on sports should automatically get you locked up in an asylum.

Remember to submit your picks here! https://www.pooltracker.com/join.asp?poolid=231808

Rank Total Points Weekly Score Win Percentage
WCS 24 1-3 71.88%
Ballsofsteelandfury 24 1-3 71.88%
The Maestro 21 1-3 58.33%
SonOfSpam 19 2-2 52.78%
Game Time Decision 18 1-3 50.00%
Gumbygirl 18 1-3 50.00%
Don T 17 2-2 47.22%
BC Dick 16 1-3 44.44%
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem 5 0-4 13.89%

Enjoy the games, everyone.

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ArmedandHammered

I see why tonight is a double header, I would try and hide a Panthers vs. Patriots game from the public as well.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t hide something from me if I was never going to look for it anyway.

ArmedandHammered

Not enough weed in the universe could get me to watch that game.

BeefReeferLives

“Do you enjoy the physical comedy stylings of The Three Stooges and Benny Hill? Well have we got a game for you!”

Horatio Cornblower

“We ask that, if you are able, you please rise for the playing of Yakkity Sax”

Horatio Cornblower

Noah Lyles was diagnosed with Covid two days ago and decided to run the 200 anyway.

He won the bronze, which is pretty remarkable, but if he ran that without telling the other runners that he had a really contagious respiratory disease I hope they celebrate his medal by blanket-partying his ass.

BeefReeferLives

Or anyone that’s been in an enclosed area with him in the past couple of days.

FUCK that guy.

Horatio Cornblower

They reported he was wearing a mask while not on the track, so, yay?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone should print up some fake press credentials and show up to a JD Vance appearance and tell him that Trump just announced that he’s dropping JD from the ticket; does he have any comment on that?

Horatio Cornblower

France and Germany are playing basketball and are at 58-53 in the 4th quarter.

What the hell?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is a great game too.

Sharkbait

Is the ref from Belgium?

King Hippo

Alsace Lorraine?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That sounds like a super-sexy style of sofa.

Sharkbait

Calm down JD

Horatio Cornblower

Wearing my ‘WWJD’ bracelet into an Ethan Allan showroom and immediately being asked to leave.

King Hippo

Big Dick Nick has announced his retirement. Everyone look down at their substandard phalluses wistfully.

SonOfSpam

Like that’s not a daily occurrence.

Horatio Cornblower

Somewhere in Mississippi, Deanna Favre makes an appointment to have her hair done.

BeefReeferLives

comment image

JD: “Hey fellas, I’m here for the presser! Should be great!!!”

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Over/under on how late it starts is 36 minutes.

2Pack

Can’t wait for the weekend and the next metric ton of shit I gotta do around the house.

FB_IMG_1723132468493.jpg
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

how do you get shut out in greater football?
I tried to find a list of how often it happens, but i suck a googling today, so didn’t find much

Sharkbait

Step 1) Be the Mac Jones led Patriots. Fun fact. I was at that game too

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

hopefully someone else paid for the tickets/
/step 3) ??
/step 4) Profit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This USA-Brazil volleyball game is exciting.

BeefReeferLives

Wow. Even the writers for The Queens Gambit couldn’t come up with this kinda shit:

https://www.chess.com/news/view/russian-chess-player-suspended-after-allegedly-poisoning-her-rival

Horatio Cornblower

Chess players are fucking weird.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry to be off topic but this feels relevant to Balls’s interests (and only his): https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-S2InCRaFz

ballsofsteelandfury

VERY interesting!!

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