I am giving my thoughts on the weekly games and also using this post to serve as Open Thread.
New England 27 Houston 0
I haven’t seen Houston take a pounding like that from people that literally just came off the street since the Houston 500
Buffalo 33 Arizona 18
Boy, the Cardinals are not a good road team, are they? To be fair, they’re probably not a good team period.
Oakland 17 Tennessee 10
Luckily, the only people watching this game were drunk Raiders fans and Titan fans in Puerto Rico that have access to good pills and weed.
Washington 29 New York Giants 27
I would love to do a 25 questions on this game about Peyton giving Eli shit for losing to these dipshits.
Cleveland 24 Miami 30
You know, it’s getting to the point that I feel bad for the people of Cleveland. Then I remember that the Cavs won and I don’t feel bad anymore. I hope everyone has turned into Cavs fans, for their own sanity.
Baltimore 19 Jacksonville 17
Someone said it before, but I’ll repeat it: Baltimore is the worst 3-0 team in the history of the world. Well, not really, but they do suck.
Detroit 27 Green Bay 34
This must have been a fantasy football bonanza.
/checks fantasy teams
FUCK YEAH M JONES!
Denver 29 Cincinnati 17
Apparently, you do not need a QB in this league. Of course, your defense has to be amazing, but still.
Minnesota 22 Carolina 10
/checks DFO Suicide Pool
Fuck you, Minny. Fuck you very much.
Los Angeles 37 Tampa Bay 32
Wow, Tampa Bay really sucks, don’t they?
San Francisco 18 Seattle 37
San Francisco must be really bad if they allowed 37 to Seattle who couldn’t score more than 3 against the Rams. Did Ciara say no to sex this week?
Kansas City 24 New York Jets 3
So I heard that Fitzmagic had 6 INTs. Yeah, that makes perfect JETS sense.
San Diego 24 Indianapolis 26
I have absolutely no interest in this game whatsoever. Probably like everyone that had to watch it on CBS.
Pittsburgh 3 Philadelphia 34
That’s a typo, right? No way we suck that hard, right?
/ double checks
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Dallas 31 Chicago 17
Neither Cutler nor Romo played. We are in a new age, people. It’s the Age of the Packed Ham!
Atlanta 45 New Orleans 32
A Pac 12 game broke out on Monday Night Football! Nice!
Have at it.
The Titans play pissed off Texans team that’s had 10 days of rest, in Houston.
The hurricane emergency kit will have to be deployed.
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TRUE STORY. In my money league, I beat a team that started Marvin Jones.
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Scotchnut out open threaded the open threadiness of open threads….. on this Tuesday.
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Is this really the open thread?
Really?
Are you sure?
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noooooope.
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Urine the money now.
ITS TAKE-O TUESDAY ON TEH INTERNETS TODAY BOY HOWDY
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http://twitchy.com/sd-3133/2016/09/26/hottest-take-ever-heres-how-hillary-clinton-is-just-like-god/
http://nypost.com/2016/09/26/the-best-debate-takes-come-from-inside-the-bar/
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/donald-trumps-sniff-becomes-hottest-8920720
I AWAIT SKIP BAYLESS’ TAKE ON ISIS AND ITS EFFECT ON TIM TEBOWS CHANCES WITH THE METS
Fun Fact: Nazi is pronounced GNAT-see, not NAWT-zi, as it is merely short for the word “Nazionalistiche.”
Fuck I want them all but I can’t have any.
Jim Nantzi. Got it.
Go Broncos.
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That’s Italian soccer level flopping.
I’ve come to realize that the Patriots Texans game was basically the football game version of the film The Hustler.
Just like in the film, Grumbleface just needs to fall ass backwards into winning against a couple of dumbass pool sharks/the vegas betting line and complete the scam…only he can’t help himself but to rub it into everyone’s face and play the perfect game.
So really, we should just respond like they did in the movie, where Paul Newman gets his thumbs broken…only I suggest we travel up to New England and break Belijerk’s legs.
Yep, Houston’s opportunity to step the fuck up and do something in the AFC….. and they get fucking blanked. So now the Patriots fan/media narrative can step up to even new assholish levels.
I’m finally starting to get sensation back in my lower lip, so I guess I’ll be all right?
Sure.
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My mom got me one of those things as a gift once. I decided I’d rather be completely congested than ever try to use the damned thing.
the pots are dumb, but the squeeze bottle version of sinus clearing is really useful
So she didn’t use it………… on her nose anyway.
/has been waiting for quite a while to use a ‘mom douche/ enema’ joke.
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How would you put together a wager wherein you bet 50 bucks on the Over on the team totals of New Orleans’ final 13 opponents. What sort of odds would you get? Thirteen consecutive overs. I’d love to know, because based on last night, I think you’d have a damn good chance of collecting.
The over by Week 17’ll be triple digits, so not too great.
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In the last hour it jumped from 77 degrees to 92.
Fuck that.
53 at sun up this morning, headed for a high of 80. My open letter to September from last week seems to be paying off.
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Oh, hi Phoebe.
The important thing is that those of us that picked against the Browns are still alive in the suicide pool.
Teeth are out, waiting for my prescriptions. I can feel the novocain subsiding.
When they hand you the bag, tear it open really violently so the paperwork inside goes flying everywhere. Then pop two out on the counter, smash them with the butt end of a Bowie knife, and ask to borrow a straw. They love jokes like that.
/feel better
I support any reference to the Houston 500. God bless you.
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Why have the football gods forsaken us?
Time to find new gods.
On to Valhalla!
SKOL!
And fuck the Cardinals for killing my suicide pool.
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