But, soft! what light through yonder season breaks?
It is the Commanders, and Jayden is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious Cowboy or Giant,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou his rival art far more competent than he:
Be not his rival, since he is envious;
His vestal livery is but silver or blue
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.

Modern English translation: After an amazing 2024 season culminating in a wildcard berth and as many playoff wins as during Snyder’s entire ownership tenure, there is actual legitimate justified optimism going into the new season!  By all accounts the team has improved over the off season, with Jayden Daniels putting in a lot of good work and the team adding pieces to build around him.  They made some significant improvements to the O-line, using their first round pick on Josh Conerly Jr as well as picking up Tunsil at left tackle, although it might take a while to see the impact as there are injuries going into the season, including Sam Cosmi who is still recovering from his ACL tear during the playoffs.  It’s not 100% clear that the changes will be enough to keep the crazy momentum of last year, but with Dallas deciding to rebuild for the 11th year or so in a row, and New York forgetting about offense, Washington is a solid bet for the playoffs, probably as a wild card but with a shot at 1st if the Iggles have too much of an Owl hangover.

Is this a Deebo which I see before me,
With McLaurin on his route? Come, let me throw to thee.
I have more wideouts not, and yet it seems ok.
Art thou not, Kingsbury vision, sensible
To running as to catch? and art thou but
An option of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding to fool the edge-rushing brain?
I see touchdowns yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.

Modern English translation: McLaurin on the outside and Deebo doing his hybrid catch and run thing should be an awesome match with Daniels.  Both have shown some excellent chemistry with JD (Jayden Daniels >> Jack Daniels btw, no contest) just not at the same time yet due to McLaurin’s contract dispute.  Beyond that there’s questionable depth, with Noah Brown’s injury and a lot of turnover in the misc. collection of extra receivers from last year.  It looks like the team likes 4th round rookie Jaylin Lane, keep an eye out for him, possibly just returning punts at first, but as he’s supposed to be “fast and explosive” don’t be surprised if he gets worked in to some fun plays.  Despite the lack of depth, it’s a talented group that should be lots of fun to watch in a Kliff Kingsbury offence (and hopefully he’ll get some nudges to mix things up as the season goes on instead of falling into his normal, repetitive trap)

Run, Bill, and crack your tackles! rage! blow!
You Rodriguez and hurricanoes, spout
Till you have drench’d their linemen, drown’d the LBs!
You sulph’rous and thought-executing Ekelers,
Vault-couriers to oak-cleaving touchdowns,
Singe two deep safety looks! And thou, all-shaking run blocks,
Strike flat the thick rotundity o’ th’ world,
Crack Nature’s moulds, all options spill at once,
That makes for grateful yards!

Modern English translation: Right now the RB room is very much a committee with Ekeler probably on third downs, Jacory Croskey-Merritt (aka Bill), McNichols, and Chris Rodriguez Jr. as the short yardage guy or lead back depending on who you ask.  There is tons of buzz around Croskey-Merritt, and he did look awesome in the preseason, but with 4 RBs all likely to see time on the field as well as Deebo and Jayden this is one of those situations that’ll probably be great in real life but totally suck for fantasy.

Once more unto the breach, old men, once more;
Or close the pocket up with our Commie dead.
On the bench there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the QB of war drops back on our field,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rush;
Then lend poor eye-discipline a terrible aspect;
Let fly through the O-line avoiding the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o’erwhelm him
As fearfully as Von Miller and Bobby Wagner
O’erhung and jutty his confounded line,
Swill’d with the wild action of their prime.

Modern English translation: The defense needs to improve this year, but while there were some moves on defense, the team did more to build up the offence.  They picked up a CB (second round) and LB (sixth round) in the draft, got Javon Kinlaw from the Jets, and the feature signing is 36 year old Von Miller (though at least he was cheap, unlike noted flop Albert Haynesworth).  Hopefully should be adequate or something.  Safety is kind of a bright spot, with some decent depth, and expect slow but steady improvement from the corners.  It’ll be interesting to see how Lattimore plays after having more time with the team after coming in late last season.  It’s nice that the opener is the Giants, who are letting Russ put metal in the microwave.

In conclusion, let’s say 10 or 11 wins, a wild card berth, and at least one more playoff win to continue pissing off Dan Snyder