I hope everyone enjoyed the early proceedings. And/or your midday nap. Here’s what remains of the day:
West By God Virginia (+13.5) at Kansas (6:00, FS1)
Comebackery in the Backyard Brawl means WCS’ Fuckers du Cousins have a pulse for this matchup. Still dunno what KS has got this season.
South Cakalaky (+10.5) at Mizzou (7:00, ESPN)
Can the Chickens get back off the mat? Only if their QB can pass concussion protocol, which Doctor Hippo doubts.
Florida Men (+7.5) at Miami-FL (7:30, ABC)
Hey everybody, it’s Meth Dealers v. Coke Dealers tonight!!!
Illinois (+5.5) at Indiana (7:30, NBC)
I read that this is the first matchup between these teams with both being ranked, since like 1950 or some shit. That is some impressive, historic commitment to shittitude.
Arizona State (+2.5) at BayBay (7:30, Fox)
Neither of these can afford another mulligan performance, so should be spirited at minimum/
California (-12.5) at San Diego State (10:30, CBSSN)
Looky-loo, the Golden Shower Bears made me look like quite the arsehole last week, soundly defeating Minnesota. Will there be a letdown against the JV BOLTMEN?
Michigan State (+17.5) at Southern California (11:00, Fox)
You simply HAVE TO LOVE this kickoff time. Fortunately, these are college kids, so Sparty won’t be all sleepy. Unfortunately, they also just ain’t very good. Que lastima.
Both teams trade a couple late garbage touchdowns, and USC recovers the last-ditch onside kick.
45-31 F USC goes to 4-0, Sparty Party loses their first, 3-1
I’m WCS and have been your unasked correspondent.
Sparty turns it over on 4th-and-seven around midfield. 38-24 USC
Gettin’ late for Michigan State here…
6:30 to go
Holy hell I forgot there was a candy called that!
Troy comes right back, converts three different third downs, and retakes the two-touchdown lead.
38-24 Men of Troi
8:20 to go in regulation
31-24 USC end of three.
This is turning out okay after all.
SUDDEN CHANGES
Sparty mounted a nice drive of their own to make it 31-17. USC then fumbles three plays later, and MSU recovers at Troi’s 38.
Troy forced Sparty to punt to start the half. USC marched straight down the field, touchdown pass to the RB on 3rd and three from the MSU 12.
31-10 Troi Bois looking pretty solid right now.
So excited about sleeping in tomorrow, didn’t drink any caffeine or alcohol this afternoon just so I’ll sleep that much better!
Colorado State-UTSA kinda went bananacakes at the very end if yinz can find it. I won’t spoil anything.
Troy let Sparty move right down the field win 30 seconds, and SHANK’LOR eats Michigan State’s sad attempt.
24-10 USC Halftime
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OOv5P2yhUk
Safety to seal the win for Boomer over Most Eastern Tigers, 24-17. Cromulent!
Back at it in LA, Troy scores after the lengthy injury timeout. It’s 24-10, three seconds till halftime.
Been on an extended injury timeout for a Sparty that’s been down for a while.
Both sides are kneeling, and it’s weirdly quiet. Training staff’s got him on a board now, going to move him to a cart.
Haven’t seen the hit, and no replays shown. That’s probably not great. Announcers aren’t saying a lot, and players on both sidelines have tears.
Just got him on the cart.
I wish that’s how the Charlie Kirk situation had been handled. Quietly, calmly, and once he was out of sight it was never spoken of again.
Has Luke Fickell been fired yet?
Bill Napier at Florida, Fickell, Sammy Pittman at R-Kansas, or Mike Gundy at Okie State?
Eh, good call. Week 3 and there’s a bottleneck to the gallows.
If/when I visit the Orkneys I will have to be sure to check out Twatt
BOTG
Are the Orkneys on the Elvesthrotes?
Sometimes life is shitty and other times it’s not as shitty but whenever I eat a taco?
Life is good.
Damn that was a tasty taco.
Sparty takes all of eight plays to respond with a touchdown pass of about 15.
Troy marched right down the field, but Sparty toughened up in the red zone. Forced a Troy field goal when USC had first and goal at the six.
3-0 Troyjans
I guess we’ve got a the Trojan-Spartan conflict again. I what would be an interesting Rose Bowl is somehow a B1G conference game.
Sparky walks off Rapey U, 24-21.
https://ibb.co/jvq7VfQY
Obviously the cat.
Birds are just evolved dinosaurs, tho
3rd and 25 in Waco
JV NFL BLITZ!
Sheee-it, Rapey U acutally converts, without any help from BLEERGH, either.
Bay-Bay ties it up two plays later. 24-up.
That’s another 40+ yard TD ASU allowed in the air today.
Three more months of britbox for 99 cents/month? Sure, why not
That’s a killer deal
Got a calendar event for when it expires and just about to watch the first episode of Shetland
That is a great series.
Enjoying it so far!
Also known as a “Tyler Robinson” type deal.
Fightin’ Berts kick a field goal to finish the first half down, 35-10, and Indiana responds by somehow scoring 14 points in less than seven minutes to start the third.
49-10 Hoosiers 5:02 3rd
Fightin’ Berts too big and too dumb to process pain like normal people.
THIS GUY WCS I CALL HIM PETE WENTZ IN A PRIVATE SNAPCHAT GROUP BECAUSE HE IS ENTERTAINING HIS COMPANIONS WITH SIMPSON VIDEOS.
Welp. I’ve seen enough. Later, Taters!
Mighty Whitey wins, Cavs win. Good day.
/definitely maybe is Oasis’ best album by far
https://ibb.co/NgfszkkJ
Are you drawing these?
No. These are by the late great B.Kliban, who mostly contributed to Playboy magazine from the 1960s through the 80s (he died in 1990). Gary Larson considered Kliban one of his biggest influences for The Far Side.
My dad bought them for the articles
A lot of great interview with James Caan.
Gumby bought them for the tits.
I’ve never seen those. Thanks, I’m going to have to dive into that. I love the far side.
Here’s the bamboo I pulled out of the ground today:
My mother-in-law wanted to cook something special for dinner to show her appreciation (since I’m doing it to clear the area for an external office we’re building in the yard for her). You’ll never guess what she made!
Gazpacho, Ice cold?
For the record, it was pretty tasty soup. I call it Gratitude Soup, which is coincidentally the first single on Subterranean Bamboo’s upcoming album.
You are a true mighty warrior.
My take on Illinois’ 1st half?
Out of my friends one did his undergrad at Northwestern, one did her Master’s at Indiana, so, sure, we’ll take it?
Indiana with perfect screen pass
to the running back, 54 yards to the endzone
28-7 with still seven minutes in the first half.
Big BC Lions win today over Calgary. There’s a classic uni battle going now between Edmonton and Hamilton.
Think classic Green Bay vs Pittsburgh but without the fascism.
As a Green Bay fan, https://share.google/pc5ZodRUxttYLzXH3
Goddammit this never works like i want it to
They have the same colours I mean. Although Edmonton allowed Warren Moon to play quarterback, resulting in several Grey Cups, while the NFL insisted that his colour precluded from throwing a football good.
It’s been a thing for a while down there.
Ah, well if not the cities themselves I’m sure you will find plenty of fascism just outside of town.
The one time I felt the tiniest (tiny, sub-atomic sized, fuck man on dog santorum) bit of respect for Rick Santorum was 2012 maybe when he and Scott Walker were both running for R presidential nomination. Walker in Pitt was waving a terrible towel all over and having a great time. Santorum was in Green Bay and they tried to give him some Packer thing to hold up and he wouldn’t do it. Possibly cause it sounded gay to him but either way, he gets the tiniest amount of credit… but still an absolute shit human
Cavs dominated
That and the Forge stomping is a good week for Calgary footy fans. I like it.
Fightin’ Berts’ QB must owe the o-linemen money or banged their girlfriend(s).
Fightin’ Berts just lost their defensive cap-e-tan to a targeting foul.
Tosses a touchdown two plays later.
21-7 Indiana
This is.. underexpected.
Goddammit, Illini.
Does Indiana have a good defensive line, does Bert’s Illini’s o-line just semi-solid giraffe diarrhea? Stuff can be two things…
No idea why Indiana would have a good defensive line, it’s not like anyone is trying to get in
It’s all the cow tipping.
WVU still won the Backyard Brawl…
WVU still won the Backyard Brawl…
WVU still won the Backyard Bawl…
https://bsky.app/profile/dirtbagqueer.rocks/post/3lzcgfuhbik2e
tbf id lose to vandy 70-0 for it
I never thought of him as that kind of guy. I assumed the distaste of media was just because it’s unnecessary. But maybe it was all affected? Maybe it was just the cheating, sex slave loving owner and a really good QB and a lot of the rest of the roster was good too.
His draft picks are brutal after that. Did he pick Tom? It was dumb luck either way.
Imagine being 70 and on tv with some 20 year old money sucker. Embarrassing.
He never had time for a mid-life crisis, so he’s making up for lost time.
NBC is switching the Notre Dame game to Peacock, because apparently snuff films are legal there.
Purdue’s offense did a respectable enough job. And it didn’t help that officials picked up a flag that would have brought back a ND kick return for no raisin.
Hey, NBC, can we switch to Illinois/Indiana instead of watching these Catholics abuse boys?
So what’s a sports fan to do on this fully operational JV football Saturday?
Watch baseball of course.
And getting crunchy.
I’ve got Yankees-Orioles on.
It’s play-off season, basically.
Purdue Football
@BoilerFootball
Today’s game at Notre Dame will resume at 7 PM ET. There will be no halftime after resumption. The break will be treated as a normal quarter break.
So, just like the Emergency Days running out and Spring Break days being taken away, due to circumstances beyond their control, the students are getting their break taken from them.
On the other hand, it’s Notre Dame, so fuck ’em.
Days like today remind one why one really fucking hates life and takes comfort that it will soon be over.
I’d high five you and welcome you to the club…but what’s the point?
This here Magical Pony KNOW wut time it is
Fucking AT&T. Have to pay 12 bucks a day for international calling just so I can text and send dick jokes to here while I’m in Spain.
The prices we pay for proper dick jokery.
.
International data and texts free on T-mobile. That’s why I’ve always gone with them, also because they’re much friendlier to unlocked phones than most
Long story but I had T Mobile forever until I didn’t and they never charged me.
Then after we switched they tried to charge the shit out of us in Toronto for “Roaming Charges?”
Fucks a roaming charge?
I have never, ever, had a single problem with T Mobile. They have earned my bizness.
Cosigned.
Michigan’s winning?
(remembers Media’s JV Week 1’s coronation of Nebraska’s QB as Mahomes Jr.)
(takes deep breath) Go Blue. (throw up in mouth a little)
heh, that’ll be me cheering Dabo on in 2 weeks (see below)
holy shit, october 4th will have the schadenfreude bowl
https://www.espn.com/college-football/game/_/gameId/401754552/clemson-north-carolina
We can root so they both lose, right?
Perpetual OTs where they both convert or miss 2-pt tries until the Heat Death of the Universe!
Dabo runs off with Bellicheks girlfriend.