apathy

I started writing the previous post as a reply to Redshirt in a night thread. His Dirt Bungles made the playoffs for the first time since 2013.. Even though the Reds were swept by the ever-so-loved Dodgers, 2-0, in the Wild Card Series, it’s evident that Cincy’s got a raising team on the way. One that’s going to be a pain in Hippo and yeah right’s asses for a while. Redshirt has hope for the Reds, or he should, anyway. They have a bright future. At least a fun one.

The Bungles do not. The Ravens… jury’s still out. The Pauls? (laughs in ELITE) The Pauls are the NFL’s Pirates. This leads us to Qaron and the 2025 Pittsburgh Steelers. In my highly detailed, thoughtful preseason analysis I never got around to typing (I’ll be punished by the content gods somehow), no one really knew what to expect this year, meself included. There was a fair amount of roster turnover, some a tad bigger than others, but not much in the way of coaching changes coming into 2025.

Here we sit at Week 5, and evidently, the Bye weeks have commenced. The Stillers are also evidently one of the first again this year with the week off. Seems a bit early to me, especially with 17 games now. When the league inevitably goes to 18 games, there will have to be two byes weeks for each team. Somehow, someway, Tomlin Voodoo is alive and doing just fine, thank you on the North Shore still.

This past weekend, the rest of the AFC North went a combined 0-3, so just by sitting around for a week, the Stiller now have a 1.5 game lead in the division. Its pretty remarkable, and simultaneously, it’s not. It’s not like anyone had any realistic expectations for this team. Preseason predictions ranged from 4-13 to AFC Championship Game. Seriously. Like when the weather forecast says 40% chance of rain is just another way of saying, “who the hell knows?”, that was pretty much what the “experts” told us.

To be honest, Qaron has been utterly silent around here. Like, not a peep about him. He’s not cornering co-eds in bathroom stalls, no riding his face on asphalt and window glass after flying off the motorcycle he was told not to drive, no weird ayahuasca-induced tirades. Not even a backhanded compliment about a teammate or reporter. He’s been good. To that end, he wasn’t horrid last year with the J-E-S-T. It’s just the Jets; some stank can’t be overcome. Ask Justin Fields.

The receivers haven’t been doom ‘n gloom, either. It’s not a room filled with Tim Brown, Randy Moss, and Chris Carter, but it isn’t a vast, empty space like some make it out to be. Calvin Austin III was actually looking like the fabled WR2 Yinzers have been salivating over (like they actually know what that really is, anyway), but then he got hurt. TE Pat Friermuth is in a contract year, but seems to have been overtaken by not just newcomer Johnnu Smith, but man-mountain Darnell “Mount” Washington has started to show some of his 6’-7”, 335lb frame. The running backs have been meh; Jaylen Warren was supposed to become the lead guy, but he’s been dinged up most of the season already. Rookie Kaleb Johnson has looked completely out of his depth, not great from your third-round pick expected to be plug-n-play. Luckily, off-season signee Kenny Gainwell has stepped in at times to create just enough a ground threat to keep defenses honest. Good thing, because this offensive line only decides to block when they feel like it. Outside of sophomore center (and WVU legend Zach Frazier woooo), the line has been… iffy. Gainwell will rush for 110 yards, but Qaron will also be sacked five times. Ehh…

The defense remains the highest paid in professional foobawl. For the first two weeks, they sure played like the lowest-paid UFL team, giving up points and rushing yards at an alarming rate. These first two performances came after the team lost five straight to close the 2024 season. Not encouraging. However, the second two weeks showed marked improvement. Tomlin’s fabled “splash plays” are back, as the team is third the league in sacks, and is tied third in turnovers forced. They bend, but don’t usually break. Terryl Austin still seems clueless as DC, though.

On paper in 2020, this defense would look literally unstoppable. This is the year 2025. Honestly, guys like LB Patrick Queen, CB Darius Slay, and rookie NT Yahya Black look as good, or better, than advertised. Queen signed last year, and at times looked a bit lost. This season, he’s the “GREEN DOT” guy, el capitan of the defense. He’s played like it, as had Slay. First round draftee NT Derrick Harmon missed the first three games with injury, but already has a sack, several tackles for loss, and a fumble forced in his two games he’s been back for. This side of the ball was expected to hold the fort while the offense found it’s way to begin the year, but it’s sort of been the opposite way around. As it is, these guys do seem to be figuring things out now.

Special teams? Chris Boswell > you

I do genuinely think this team has a run in them. How far that is, who the crap knows. If the right pieces can stay relatively healthy, they should have the division secure by Pearl Harbor Day. The rest of the AFC North is a mortuary and nursing home. If they can remain upright and not suffer collective hamstring tears, 11-6 is achievable. The goal this year is win a playoff game. How about we get there first, fellas? Something yinz haven’t done in three years. This is the Pittsburgh Steelers, this is Mike Tomlin. The faces of the players change, the end results are the same. I see nothing different to suggest otherwise the rest of this season. 11-6, AFC North champs, and… AFC Conference Championship Game loss to whoever they play. But, hey, TWO playoff wins this year!

Love yas, and go Stillers