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11 Oct 2025 JV NFL Night Thread

King Hippo

/

,

Early slate was great, so is the night’s.  THANK GOD for days like today.

Florida Men (+7.5) at Bonfire Cult (7:00, ESPN)

Billy Napier is a man of nine lives, and if he goes 2-fer-Texas tonight, perhaps he will even get an extension.  Bet the under here.

Non-Pirate Kansas (+14.5) at Guns Up!! (7:30, Fox)

Guns Up!! spent big on this team, but they also spent WELL.  Dunno if the Twaaaallllllve get more than one team in the playoffs, but I’d be surprised if Texas Tech no make it.

Georgia (-3.5) at War Damn Eagle (7:30, ABC)

The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry.  Don’t think anyone ever went tree-killing over this matchup, but ah sure ’nuff do enjoy a nice Southern yarn.  My maternal grandfather (ie, the non-raycess one) was an absolute master.

Michigan (+2.5) at Troi Boiz (7:30, NBC)

Classic offense v. defense matchup.  I think the Wolverines might be slightly MOAR fradulent (especially on the Coast), but that might be wishful thinking (as SC is really the only squadron that could knock ND out of the playoff picture).

Original Recipe Big Love (-2.5) at Arizona Fightin’ Blax (8:00, ESPN2)

Is the Big Love hype train getting a bit overcrowded?  SIGNS POINT TO YES.  Come on, you Blax!

Arizona State (+8.5) at Team Secular Big Love (10:15, ESPN)

So much Big Love, so little Tweaker Time ,, amirite??  Plenty of eye candy in this one, but as an old I am sure I will fall asleep with the TV on.

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Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME I CALL IT CARTHAGE ILLINOIS BECAUSE THE MORMONS ARE GETTING ABSOLUTELY KILLED BY THE OFFICIALS!!!

1
Brick Meathook

Here’s another counterfeit “Tommy’s” hamburger stand; a bunch of these dot the SoCal landscape. I think this one used to be a “Tomy’s” so this is an interesting new take. I wonder if they make imitation-meat dykeburgers or something like that (“It’s Better Than Real Meat!”).

https://ibb.co/bgszRjcf

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is the one on Sawtelle still boarded the fuck up?

0
Brick Meathook

Where on Sawtelle?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sawtelle and I want to say Pico

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

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SonOfSpam

Man, the refs couldn’t have fucked Auburn harder if they used a Steely Dan. Preferably a size 10.5 (Rikki,,,don’t lose that number)

2
Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure if ‘Angry Samoan Football Coach’ rates higher or lower on my ‘Things To Avoid’ list than ‘Rabid Kodiak Grizzly Bear’ but I do know that they aren’t separated by much.

In a related note, the refs in the BYU-Arizona game are tempting fate.

3
yeah right

We exceeded expectations for sure.

Have a glass Cubbies and tell me if you’ve heard this before…

Wait until next year!

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Booooooooooooo

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Gatoraids

getting into the Halloween spirit after gators loss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYBpWAiwW34

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BeefReeferLives

So, Kentucky Fried Chicken has apparently rebranded Colonel Sanders. He is no longer a kindly & portly Southern gentleman, but now a psycho rage-freak who assaults his own employees.

Last edited 6 months ago by BeefReeferLives
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Horatio Cornblower

Well, now the Ricketts and Steinbrenner families can go back to doing what they love most: donating large amounts of money to voter suppression efforts.

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litre_cola

Got poured an Oban. Drank 1st sip like wine. Do NAWT recommend.

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Horatio Cornblower

Last time I had Oban I was at a friend’s wedding at a vinyard, where they’d fucked up the scheduling and brought in staff who clearly had not bartended. I ordered a scotch and pointed at the Oban bottle, which had about four fingers left in it.

The kid behind the bar dumps all four fingers in the glass and then says, I shit you not, “oh, the bottle’s empty. I’ll have someone bring up another.”

I told him it was OK, as I did not want to spend the rest of the night heaving up good Scotch, then went back to the table and said “if any of you like good Scotch, now would be the time to order it.”

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SonOfSpam

I know nothing about Scotch. Why no recommend? The wine sip, or the Oban in general?

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Doktor Zymm

Oban is good, but the recommended sip size is different. A third to a half depending on your sipping habits I would say. And first sip is totally different between the two

1
Doktor Zymm

The swish in the mouth is different and even the way you want to breathe around the mouthful

1
SonOfSpam

Sounds complicated, thanks for the 411.

/shotguns Natty Light
//feels belch coming on
///nope, that was puke
////is escorted from the Bisexual Yacht Club
/////it’s for yachts that go both ways, not people who do
//////either way, the poop deck is magical

5
Horatio Cornblower

Just use a straw.

You’ll be fine.

1
Redshirt

Its a good thing my dad has passed away. I’d hate having to explain why Portland is like that. My usual go-to was “hippie shit” but this seems to be a few levels above that.

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Doktor Zymm

I’m nawt sure furries have a direct lineage from hippies

2
Redshirt

(turns on NBC)

I thought I smelt Michigan Schadenfreude baking in the oven!

2
Horatio Cornblower

Guy currently pitching for the Cubs has the same windup I had when I threw batting practice to Little Leaguers.

Weirdly, he seems to be able to hit 91 doing it, and I doubt I ever cracked 70.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cracking 70 is how Pete Hegseth spends his weekend after cases of Coors Light go on sale.

2
Horatio Cornblower

The friend I picked up at the airport at 11:30 last night flew in from Kentucky, and took the precaution of getting me one of these to say thank you.

comment image

It is very good. I’m going to take over one of Sharkbait’s Friday cocktail reviews and it’s going to be “pour into glass. drink. repeat as needed”

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Horatio Cornblower

There’s a 126 proof version, but that just seems insane.

1
Doktor Zymm

I got their rye, it’s a solid

1
Gatoraids

Killer bourbon

1
Horatio Cornblower

Goes well with

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0A6SdObWKI

0
blaxabbath

This is Roger. He has been a good dog today.

comment image

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Horatio Cornblower

Great job, Roger.

5
BeefReeferLives

He looks like a very, very, very good boy who deserves some treats.

5
Gumbygirl

Roger, sporting the red rocket!

1
Redshirt

Hey, Georgia/Auburn, Dragon Ball Z called, they want you to wrap up the 2nd quarter!

1
herodotus450

Luckily for these refs, Auburn fans have to go home immediately following the game to satisfy the conditions of their house arrests, or else they’d be dead (lots of calls going against Auburn, you see)

1
Redshirt

“Luke Fickell. Paging Luke Fickell.”

R
1
Bogdanski

Like x1000. I can’t believe this guy was supposed to be the way of the future. They’ve had shit luck with qbs getting hurt early every year but how can you elevate U Cincinnati so much and then just shit the bed in WI?

1
Redshirt

Simple. UC is/was a destination school for the 3-star and 4-star recruits and Jr. College Transfers who want playing time vs. competing with two to three year Sophomores and Juniors, so they can turn that into playing against on Sunday. Luke Fickell was able to use that an elevate UC to a Big 12 school. They did struggle after he left and them joining the Big 12, but they seem to be turning the corner.

I don’t know much about what Luke Fickell did in Wisconsin, but I know what I do know. They compete with Ohio State, Michigan and Penn State in their conference, and in regionally they compete with Nebraska, Oklahoma and Texas. All the premiere 4-star and 5-star recruits will either go to OSU, UM and PSU or the SEC first. Even if you do get the 2nd place recruits, you will have to play against the larger teams in your conference instead of lower tier teams.

Don’t get me wrong, Wisconsin is a much better program than Cincinnati. However, when you go to Wisconsin, you get their schedule and opposing recruiting teams.

I know OSU/UC Luke Fickell. I loved him. It pained me that he got tired of waiting for OSU to open up and he left for Wisconsin. Even with what’s happened, part of me is hoping that OSU/UC Luke Fickell may become the DC or a position coach for the Bengals, because if he can get the same motivation into those Bengals players that he got from the Buckeyes and Bearcats players, that defense will play far better than they are now.

I know OSU/UC Luke Fickell. I don’t know Wisconsin Luke Fickell. I don’t know what they hell they did to OSU/UC Luke Fickell to turn him into Wisconsin Luke Fickell, but hopefully he can salvage his career. But it needs to end. For both sides, it needs to end.

tl;dr The grass isn’t always greener.

Last edited 6 months ago by Redshirt
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Bogdanski

Well, at least we’ve managed to keep mediocre white rap group on the very edge of relevancy for 4-5 months every year.
https://youtu.be/SoXHXLYTAgs?si=VDpRTEDyh7Bl1HKh

1
Brick Meathook

With windshield washers freshly repaired, I’m just driving all over Southern California washing the living shit out of my windshield while moving.

UPDATE: I just purchased brand new wiper blades after this video was shot, even though these were not that old (wiper blades get more sun damage than wear out here). I treated myself to deluxe overpriced Bosch blades, the Apple of auto parts.

https://vimeo.com/1126520962

2
Doktor Zymm

Overpriced and incompatible with every other brand of everything?

2
herodotus450

TEN MINUTES of game time has elapsed in this hockey game (thats half of one perioud), meanwhile ONE minute has elapsed in this Georgia Auburn game.

0
herodotus450

Every time I look over its literally in slow motion

0
Redshirt

They better hurry up. The Draft is in six months.

0
herodotus450

I’ve had hamsters that didn’t live as long as this latest Auburn possession.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’ve also tried owning cats and hamsters at the same time.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s always fun watching baseball and basketball playoffs because I get exposed to this whole ecosystem of TBS and TNT shows whose existence I would never know about otherwise. It’s so strange to me that there are totally people whose viewing experience is based around those networks, but there absolutely are.

3
herodotus450

next time you friendly neighborhood Ohio State fan is complaining about Ryan Day just show them this
https://x.com/CFBONFOX/status/1977088064901333459

And then tell em to shove it down their buckeye-hole (thats what they call it)

0
Redshirt

I’ve learned to stop trying to figure this one out. Reality is obviously drunk at the wheel, but this is one of the perks.

0
Mr. Ayo

Enough dirt ball. It’s ice ball time. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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Doktor Zymm

Tentacles up!

5
King Hippo

Blax – what is wrong with YOUR almond matter? Y’all ain’t BEARING DOWN

1
Bogdanski

Not midterms yet
https://share.google/jzB7hR2RJwJ3m9LNI

2
Fronkenshteen

The problem with AA is that god is a dick who withholds serenity.

6
Doktor Zymm

If monks and nuns are management, then what’s the union up to? Might actually be worse than the NFLPA

1
Bogdanski

Despite the name, I’ve always thought of the weak force a a higher power

0
litre_cola

Come on Small Bears, do better.

2
fleshwound_NPG

was hoping for a maximum chaos LCS with Phils/Brew/Jays/Ms

at least AL is dealing the chaos

1
fleshwound_NPG

and just now, dirtball bears score a dirtball touchdown

1
King Hippo

NO. YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!

1
litre_cola

It’s the Akavit talking Hippo.

/am with BC Dick

3
Doktor Zymm

Flammable!

1
Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty impressed they managed to take this to 5 games, but nawt at all sure they can win away. It is pretty fun around Wrigley during a playoff run, so would be happy to see em go on!

1
litre_cola

Note, BC Dick wants his own bottle of Malort and will exchange local wine/spirits with you.

1
Doktor Zymm

Definitely doable, and also LOL. I should be in Chicago again next week (govt shutdown allowing), will grab a bottle during a grocery/beer run

1
King Hippo

GunsUp!! might be close to that tOSU/Fightin’ Brockys ELITE tier.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Finally watching the new Naked Gun. Talk to you in a few hours.

0
Don T

It’s great!

0
King Hippo

James Franklin/Paedo State is the only coach/team to lose as 20 (or more) point favoUrites this season. And he’s done it TWICE.

All other such heavy favoUrites have a 67-0 record.

That, my imaginary friends…THAT is how you get fired.

2
Fronkenshteen

Maybe a walk-on with a hose can save him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLhsjH3IBPc

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That coach in the gray shirt who’s like “I see somethin’ in him…” is so adorable.

0
Horatio Cornblower

On the one hand this thing hilariously demonstrates how even an older and retired NFL players is just so much better than even a D-1 hopeful, and on the other hand, how the hell did Hulu see this and say “we need to make an entire series with Glen Powell” based off this clip?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Touche’

Last edited 6 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
0
Horatio Cornblower

That, my imaginary friends…THAT is how you get fired.

It helps if you’re also a total asshole.

0
Doktor Zymm

Back in Cali, spent the morning setting up my portable solar panel (GO DIE IN A FIRE YOU CAUSED, PG&E!) and generally doing some rearranging and organization (still getting the details worked out of my new hammock setup). Then horseback, grocery shopping, and now I’m home and settling in to try out a new bathrobe.

First impressions: this is way cozier than I would expect from a waffle weave, this is supposed to be a summer robe but it’s definitely not, far more of a late fall robe. It’s comfortable and fits well, but the pockets are weirdly low and not that easy to access, especially while sitting or hammocking. A good robe, but nawt a great robe, and definitely not a backup for my current waffle-weave summer robe which is what I was looking for.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I humbly request a weekly robe review series.

1
Doktor Zymm

Weekly might be a bit much, maybe monthly, or bi-weekly during the off-season. Or it could just be a fill-in for when other columns have time off

0
Bogdanski

I was not aware of “waffle weave” so I’ve already benefited from this hypothetical feature

1
Don T

Well, guess I’m ready for some baseball

0
litre_cola

Hoooo boy those Auburn cheerleaders make my private parts tingle.

2
King Hippo

inorite???????????

1
Doktor Zymm

I hear they have an ointment for that

0
scotchnaut

“A tincture even.”

-Dr. Carl Warburg

2
BC Dick

So that tingling, burning sensation isn’t just me?

1
fleshwound_NPG

air force has a really, really bad pass defense. cannot stop air attacks.

so bad a foreign power just put an air base in idaho

3
Bogdanski

How many of the players have beards?

0
King Hippo

Based on the FITBAW Hippo has seen…Indiana and Ohio State are easily the two bestest sides.

0
fleshwound_NPG

walmart F1? enjoy your dollar store usc status forever, fuckers

indy-duck
4
fleshwound_NPG

YOU LET THE FAT HUMPS BEAT YOU IN FOOTBALL IN YOUR HOUSE, YOU DIPSHITS

ZILLION DOLLAR NIL NIKE MONEY DONT BUY WHAT IT USED TO, HUH

2
Redshirt

Oregon and USC killed the Pac-10/12 to become jobbers to Indiana.

4
Brocky

YOU’RE GOD DAMMED RIGHT THEY DID!!!!

goes to the nearest parked car and breaks a window with my forehead like that dude from The Program

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He has a name, you know.

Or maybe not. Maybe he’s just known to everyone as “Roid Rage”.

1
Brocky

Normally I’d take issue at being associated with the fat humps, but I’m too elated to care

2
Redshirt

Colorado rushed the field for beating a 5-1 (2-1) #22 ranked team? Okay…

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